The Shifting Sense of Self
I'm sharing activities from my book in case anyone finds them helpful. One thing with BPD I know a lot of us struggle with is the shifts in our identity over time or when we're with different people.
Optional Activity: The Parts That Remain
Take a few minutes to write down:
5 things you care about. These can be people, animals, hobbies, causes, goals, or even things that feel difficult to admit. Try to include a variety. Maybe you care deeply about your dog. Maybe you care about helping others. Maybe you care about finishing a course in school. Maybe you care what people think of you. Be honest. This is just for you and isnโt meant to come from a place of judgment. I felt a lot freer when I realized I do care about what people think about me.
5 things you enjoy. Think about foods, activities, interests, books, music, learning about certain topics, spending time in nature, or anything else that brings you enjoyment.
3 roles you have. Examples might include friend, partner, parent, sibling, student, employee, volunteer, artist, pet owner, or community member. If you can think of more than three, write those down too.
3 qualities you possess. These do not have to be things you're perfect at. Maybe you're curious, compassionate, determined, funny, creative, loyal, thoughtful, or willing to keep trying even when things are hard.
When you're finished, look over your list.
Ask yourself Would these things suddenly stop being true because I had a bad day? Because my emotions changed? Because I don't feel like myself right now?
The answer is probably no.
When your sense of self feels shaky, it can be easy to believe that you don't know who you are. But who you are is often still there in the things you care about, the things you enjoy, the roles you hold, and the qualities you bring into the world. Sometimes those parts of you feel distant. That doesn't mean they've disappeared. If you'd like, save this list in your Anchor Box. On days when your sense of self feels shaky, it can remind you of parts of yourself that still exist even when they're harder to see.
