#acoholism

Dess [or Iridescent], always flirty, always overdressed and looking for trouble... He's one bot who most in this group would describe as rather untrustworthy. He always seems so shut off from the rest of us and his alcoholism only makes it worse, with some of the only times he's seen in public being him making a drunk menace of himself. It'd make him seem rather pathetic at first but I've learned not to underestimate Dess... His fighting skills, his wit and his strength are on par with my own [when he's sober that is]. Which only makes him even more untrustworthy to me... Though, I have to admit he has some charm in him, or maybe the pretty feathers are just blinding me...

Strangely enough I found out the feathers are not in fact an aesthetic choice but an actual part of his anatomy, they can even raise themselves in the exact way the peacocks on earth... Though the intimidation factor is probably lessened when used on cybertronians as opposed to wild animals.

But maybe if he wasn't so vain or struck up you could release him into the wild... Wouldn't that be a sight to see hah!

Stress. Personal and professional life has this gal STRESSING! To the point I don’t sleep, my left shoulder is killing me. I tried ways to de-stress and some would work, some won’t, a lot of pain. I couldn’t figure out Why was I stressing so bad? Why? Well let me tell you...

   First home life: I am a 22 year old woman( still silly to think I am adult) that lives with her dad. Who in all counts is a great father, makes me laugh, always have fun. Except for one thing He is in alcoholic. And a violent one. I lived with it my whole life. When he and my mother were married they.... Just out of control, door slamming, fist being thrown( By my mother) glass breaking. There was no peace, just pieces growing up. My mother was also alcoholic and drug user. I don’t remember much seeing my mom, she was always trying to party be somewhere and always up my older brother’s ass. During this time he was in baseball and thought he would be a baseball star. So I was ignored. My father chose the bottle, my brother chose jail, and my mother chose everything else but being a mother. Finally when I was 11 they divorced.

   THEN even that came with a price. I lived with my mother for I don’t know barely over a year because, well at the time I thought she changed and wanted to be with me.NOPE. She got that child support and was gone. Literally spend weekends by myself. Just me alone in a house with a dog.Sometimes I look back on those days wishing I would have spoke up. But I didn’t. I was so in my head that I was crumpling inside from what was going on the outside. What could I do? 

* I’m going to stop here and continue on tomorrow. Getting into these feelings again, I don’t want to cry right now, soo yep. I will continue tomorrow PROMISES! 

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