Whatever you say, i’ll listen
Lovely doesn’t want to be a vampire. The thought scares them. Even if the only other option is death, they’re ok with that. They’ve had a good life and Vincent’s by their side. That’s all they could ever need
relationships: vincent/lovely
tw/cw: major character death, angst, character going into shock from grief and traumatic situations
“Do you…want me to turn you?”
Vincent could feel tears sliding down his cheeks but he barely paid it any mind. All his attention was focused on his Lovely, who’s eyes were barely open, struggling to say conscious.
“Just stay with me, please. Just don’t go.” he thought desperately.
They hesitated for a moment, clearly considering what he’d just proposed, only to shake their head, their whole body shaking with the movement.
“If I don’t do this, you’ll-you’ll die.” he breathed, barely able to even say it out loud.
“I…I don’t think I can do it. It’s…It’s too much. I just can’t Vincent.” Lovely struggled out, a few tears starting to run down their cheeks.
He wanted to say anything in protest, desperate to persuade them to say anything else. Another part of him was just so caught up in their voice, clinging to every word, knowing that this might be the very last time he would get to hear them speak.
“...OK. OK Lovely. It’s all up to you. If that’s what you want and how you feel…I’ll respect it.” he choked out, trying as hard as he possibly could to keep his tone even, not breaking with all the agony strangling his thoughts.
They relaxed a little after he said that, all the tension easing out of their muscles. It was clear that the last of their strength was leaving them. Sam was right, they didn’t have much longer left in them. They’d be gone any minute now if nothing happened to save them.
“Vincent…” Sam said softly, reaching over to put one hand on his shoulder.
“Just go…Go and help the others. I’ve got them.” he replied quickly, not looking at one of his closest friends.
“I…Alright. Just…holler if you need me.” Sam told him before hurrying off back towards the others who had been attacked by the Shades nearby.
He felt Lovely stir in his arms, letting out a faint pained whimper. All his attention was instantly on them the minute he heard that, leaning forward to gently press his forehead against theirs, pulling them in close to his chest.
“It’s OK, Lovely. Everything’s OK. I’m right here, I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here, no matter what. I’m here. I’m here.” he murmured, his voice barely more than a hushed whisper, only loud enough for the two of them to hear. He couldn’t hold his tears back anymore and plenty were rolling down his cheeks now, sliding onto Lovely’s face.
“I…I love you Vinny.” Lovely breathed, reaching to grab the front of his shirt.
He laughed softly through his tears at the familiar nickname, reaching up to wipe the mess of his and their tears off their face with one thumb. “I love you too baby. I love you so, so much. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect partner. You’re amazing. I love you.”
There were so many things he was desperate to say but none of them seemed like the right thing. All he wanted them to know was that he loved them and always had, that he always would. Instead of saying anything, he leant down and kissed their forehead as gently as possible, before moving down to kiss away the tears blooming in their eyes and running down their cheeks.
“Everything’s OK Lovely. I’ve got you. I love you.” he reassured them.
They didn’t respond this time, so he took their hand hesitantly, his heart sinking when he noticed how limp and cold it was. They weren’t really holding themselves up anymore, they were just slumped into his chest, their eyes closed, one arm dangling down, brushing the grass.
“Lovely? Lovely?” he called softly, shaking them slightly.
They didn’t respond, not even a little bit. That was when he noticed that he couldn’t hear their heartbeat anymore, couldn’t feel their chest rising and falling, couldn’t scent their blood pumping through their veins.
It was as if everything around him had suddenly gone still, falling completely silent. A Shade could have dragged itself up behind him at that very moment and he would’ve had no idea. Nothing else existed in that moment but him and the realisation that his Lovely was gone. Really gone.
He’d thought they were before, he’d been prepared for that horrifying possibility, back when Adam had kidnapped them for days on end. At the time, he’d refused to fully believe it; he was just willing to prepare himself for that possibility. When he found them in that dark hellhole Adam called home, he’d been more than happy to put the concept behind him. He was too swept up in the elation that they were alive and the worry for their mental state afterward.
Now he was faced with that reality head on. There was no wiggling out of this, no denying it, no changing how things were. His Lovely had died, right there, in his arms. There was no changing that.
Vincent heard a sound coming his way, but he barely registered it. Everything felt like it was trickling down to him while he sat at the bottom of a well, echoing off the stone walls and bouncing off the water at the bottom. It sounded vaguely like Sam’s voice, causing him to tilt his head up, the only movement he felt capable of.
“Vincent? You alright?” he asked softly, a small glance flicking down before back up again.
He must know. They were both vampires, they could both hear the silence coming from Lovely’s body. He wasn’t saying anything though. He was hardly even looking at them. Maybe it was to try and make him feel better. Maybe it just didn’t matter as much to him. But Sam wasn’t like that, he wouldn’t be that callous.
“Vincent…we need to get out of here. It’s not safe.” Sam said gently, as if he was talking to a scared animal.
He just shook his head. His throat felt like it was closing up, sealing all his words, any noise he could make, in his chest. He just wanted to lie down and never move again. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. This was just like when he’d woken up a vampire after the accident with Surge, when he’d been mourning the life he’d left behind. Now he’d left behind another life, another good life. He just wanted to have it back or to go down with it. All the exhaustion from fighting the Shades seemed to crash down on him at once, making even kneeling in the grass feel like a huge task.
“I won’t make you leave them here. Bring them with you.” Sam added, much softer, reaching over and placing one hand on his shoulder.
He didn’t have much of a choice from there. Sam added another hand to his other shoulder, using that to hoist him upright. It was an awkward job and Vincent nearly fell several times, using all of his remaining strength just to hold onto Lovely. He wouldn’t leave them there. That was the least he could do.
“You can cry if you need, you know that. This…This is a lot.” Sam murmured, wrapping an arm around him so that he could help him walk easier.
Vincent wanted to cry. He wanted to scream, to tear something apart, to break something important. He wanted everyone to know what the world had lost. He wanted everyone else to lose something so vital, to feel like they’d had something torn out of them. He wanted to go back there and tear every single one of those Shades apart, just so that he could feel some sense of justice and maybe not feel so lost. But he couldn’t do any of that. He felt cold, numb, barely able to move and function. So instead, he just shook his head and staggered alongside Sam, leaning into him and wishing that he would hear Lovely’s voice telling him that they were both going to be OK.