I usually don't make posts like this, but I want to call out an abuser.
r/troubledteens is a subreddit for survivors of the Troubled Teen Industry. People who are survivors are severely traumatized individuals who had to put up with all kinds of abuse. That being said, being traumatized, mentally ill or whatever is never an excuse to be abusive or a bully yourself.
Granted, I was a little impatient and maybe rude (I don't think so, but I'm welcome to be challenged on that opinion), but it was out of a sense of defensiveness. I have suffered from many abusers like this. Ones that claim to help people, to be informed on trauma and mental health, only to be energy vampires who cannot stand being questioned.
I was banned from the sub, muted from talking to mods and the mod in question deleted my comments. Sadly for them, I took screenshots. The internet never forgets, much like survivors of abuse.
I am making this post not to harass them, but to bring attention to the other mods of the TTI sub (I imagine at least some must use tumblr) and for others to be aware of them. DO NOT HARASS THEM.
Here is the user in question:
Notice the word "unsilenced". It's very ironic given my situation.
So, here's their original comment that I first replied to:
(Note: some of the comments in the image say deleted because she blocked me and also removed my comments)
I, as someone who actively supports Wikipedia (though I am not saying it's perfect; everything has it's flaws), said this in response:
Well, it seems Miss Nobody lacks reading comprehension skills because she responded with a reply that reitterated what I already said.
I'm someone who generally agrees with the statement "what's obvious is to some isn't obvious to all" but our comments were hours apart and she double posted to make another "point":
So clearly she had time to reread my comment.
I'm really tired of the "I DiDn't sAy tHaT" bullshit that seems to be prevalent online at the moment. No, you didn't say those exact words, but I never claimed you did. Being pedantic doesn't make you right. Your argument is childish.
But it gets "better". I responded saying this:
And, completely ignoring everything I wrote because she didn't want to be wrong, she responded with this insanity:
I'm sorry, what? Where did I tell you what to do? Is it because I said she could have just edited the comment? Saying someone could do something is not telling them what to do. I even said it didn't really matter anyway.
We were having a discussion and she didn't like that I both disagreed with them and was being rational and using logic.
At this point, she started downvoting me so I did so back. Admittedly, that was petty of me. But after her nanosecond response, I noticed her comments were immediately being upvoted, which is a red flag for sockpuppeting. Sockpuppetting is manipulative.
She said this:
Which is true on Reddit, but not if your comment has been downvoted. It goes to zero. Hers was at one after I downvoted it. So you can add gaslighting to the list.
Now, I'm not all-too-surprised when someone in a mental health, neurodivergent or trauma community is abusive. That happens all too often. What I'm angry about is being banned from the subreddit for supposedly breaking a rule.
But what rule did I break? Here's the sub's rules:
Oh wait! I didn't break a single one! Seems like classic mod powertripping with no way for people who are banned to get any justice!
Hey so you know how this community is supposed to be about not silencing people? And how Miss Nobody talks about being unsilenced? Well, apparently, she doesn't mind doing it to others who disagree with her over a trivial matter!
u/Miss_Nobody89 is abusing her power as a moderator, breaking Reddit's rules of conduct for mods and doing so in a community that is supposed to help survivors.
I normally don't like making assumptions, but this person seems very dangerous to me. She got angry at the drop of a hat over being wrong and being corrected. She also seem to have very serious ties in other TTI survivor spaces and other trauma-related communities.
She is acting just like the abusive workers in the TTI. She is no better than they are and it is hypocritical for someone like this to participate in a space meant for survivors.
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after 6 years of being silent, i am finally ready to open up about the specifics of my sexual abuse + namedrop my abuser. this is mostly for my own closure and to show my therapist.
tw for explicit descriptions of csa/possible sexual assault/emotional abuse
my sexual abuser’s name is kevin halley. he was the first person i ever dated, and our relationship lasted for 14 months. since i was inexperienced, i figured his behavior towards me was normal. at the time, i was very very very sex repulsed and he knew it. i also was not out as transgender, so i am going to misgender myself for the sake of accuracy.
i was 14-15 when all of this happened.
i met him through a mutual friend. i thought he was funny and we clicked, so i asked him out after a few weeks of knowing him.
he was very clingy from the get-go, and i should have seen the red flags. he texted me nonstop and refused to respect my need for space. if i didn’t respond to his texts immediately, he would spam me with guilt trip messages like “why don’t you care about me” “i thought you loved me” etc. the only break i got from communication was when he played xbox.
a couple months into our relationship, he started acting extremely sexual towards me. i made it clear that sex grossed me out. he continued anyway. he’d try to sext me on a daily basis, despite my disinterest and lack of compliance. he would tell me all about his fantasies and what he wanted to do with me. he also liked to announce every time he got an erection or masturbated. he never listened to me when i told him to knock it off.
one of his favorite things to do was grope my chest and butt in public. it made me super uncomfortable and i told him this. he ignored me. i’d try to push him away whenever this happened, but he’d still force himself on me. i felt violated every time he did this, and he didn’t care. once he even grabbed my crotch, felt it up, and made sexual comments about my vagina. again, i did not consent to this.
one of his favorite things to do was force me to kiss him against my will, and he’d shove his tongue in my mouth even though i thought it was disgusting.
there were a few instances where he would rub his erection on me without my consent. i feel nauseous thinking about it.
whenever he felt that i wasn’t giving him enough attention, he would pick fights with me by insulting me. he’d frequently call me things like “psychopath”.
if i didn’t tell him i loved him multiple times a day, he would flip shit at me and accuse me of hating him/not caring about him/wanting to break up/etc. he also threatened suicide if i left him.
ironically, he told me he wouldn’t love me and i was a bad girlfriend if i didn’t shave my pubic hair. i gave into his pressure and he spent the next week constantly telling me how “turned on” he was.
he was also homophobic/biphobic/transphobic. one time he said to me that he would never date a bisexual girl.
throughout the entirety of our relationship, he’d talk about how much he hated cheaters. surprise surprise, he cheated on me with my (now ex) best friend towards the end of our relationship. when i confronted him, he told me that i “made him cheat” by not giving him enough attention/affection and being depressed.
to this day, i am still terrified to date men and i have horrible flashbacks if i see someone who looks like my abuser.
