Have you ever looked everywhere for a plastic bag and it’s been on your head the whole time?

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Have you ever looked everywhere for a plastic bag and it’s been on your head the whole time?

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A journey into how absentminded I can be: Just now I was in a two-story store. For some reason the escalators were running in the opposite direction from normal. Even a rodent could see which way the steps were moving. And yet I was so busy thinking Deep Thoughts that I was about a half-step away from the dumbest pratfall ever.
(I was even worse as a kid. Once I was running in from recess and was so lost in thought that I ran full-speed into a metal tetherball pole.)
absent-minded
At least my chaos is funny
Being absent minded is hard
Today, I am getting ready to drive into University and look down at my watch and realize I am late. I rush out the door without eating breakfast so I grab granola bar
I am pumping gas and realize I have left my phone (with my driver’s license) at home. I go through my backpack and coat pockets, but I can’t find it, so I turn around and drive all the way home, park, and get out to run in the house when I realize my pants in fact, have pockets (sorry guys if this part of the story doesn’t make sense but girls you feel me)
My phone is in my pocket
I am thinking, OMG I am soooo late to class, maybe if I push the speed limit just a little I can still make it more or less on time. But the car in front of me won’t even hit the limit and I can’t pass them.
In despair I look down at the clock and realize that it is 8:47
I don’t have class until 10:00
speaking in several languages at once. not like a mouth might speak, more like two hands make whispered contact through their finger-ends, like light itself which absent-mindedly brushes the grass and speaks by letting be
Alice Oswald, from Falling Awake

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Attending a meeting scheduled for Thursday, the grad student realizes today is Wednesday.
Yonderly
I get so absorbed with thinking about my stories that I’ve actually had to set up little rituals and rules to stop myself from zoning out and doing something catastrophically stupid like leaving the ranch gate open or leaving my car in drive instead of park. I leave my left foot hanging out the car door until I’ve gone back to close the gate. If I’m leaving the house with important paperwork, I put it directly into my bag--never on the counter by the door. I absolutely never under any circumstances set anything on top of my car. If I turn on a stove burner I am not allowed to do anything except stand there and stare at it. That one has been around ever since I discovered that you can, in fact, burn water.