#abafar

Sleeping in the same room with someone she barely knew felt strange but weirdly comforting at the same time. Instead of being alarmed by a strange man in her home, she actually felt more secure by his presence. And it was like that from the first moment he entered her place, something she couldn’t really explain to herself. It would have been healthy to be more careful, to feel more alarmed, to be more sceptical about that stranger with no past. But as much as she tried, she wasn’t. She couldn’t be. His presence was soothing, the way he always stayed just slightly behind her, worrying not to overstep his place in any way, the way he always tried to open the door for her, even though he was always one step behind her, the way his eyes stayed on her the entire time, listening carefully, soaking every piece of information she’d give him about Pons Ora, the diner or her place. He never interrupted, never asked inappropriate questions, and he never felt like a burden.

The first night at her place, she was a little worried if he’d be disappointed seeing how small it was or how modest it was, even though she warned him about it, and even though she made sure to explain to him that the place wasn’t her choice. Still, she worried that he’d think it somehow reflected on her and who she was as she watched him move slowly through the kitchen and observe the room.

“It’s not much, but it’s difficult here, there are no good apartments here, really, well, some are better, but they are not easy, or well impossible to…” - she caught herself rambling and she had to stop herself. She wondered for a moment why she cared so much and why she worried about his opinion. Gregor listened carefully, and as she stopped talking he turned towards her.

“I think it’s really nice. It’s your corner, your place.”

“Really?” - she said surprised.

She seemed slightly shocked and Gregor didn’t know if he said something wrong.

“What do you mean?” - he asked.

“You think this is really nice?” - she repeated in disbelief.

Gregor shrugged.

“I do. I don’t remember where I used to live, but something tells me it wasn’t as nice as this.”

She laughed.

“Gregor, there isn’t much that is nice about this place. It’s a basement. There’s barely any natural light. It’s small, and…”

But he didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. There was something about the way she said his name, or just the fact that she said it that made his heart flutter. It was a strange feeling, but it made him sentimental. It felt familiar, it felt intimate somehow, like she was an old friend… or something else. Her voice was soft and her lips plump, and Gregor felt himself getting lost in her face and that sentiment as he tuned back in:

“... but I tried to do as much as I could with it, so it’s much better than it was, to begin with” - she said.

Gregor still looked like his mind was far away, even though he tried hard to appear focused on what she was saying, his thoughts were still… somewhere else.

“Are you okay?” - he heard her ask, her face worried. “You look a little pale suddenly!”

“No, no, I’m fine, I’m great” - Gregor said, rubbing his neck, something she noticed he tended to do a lot. “I’m very thankful for this, and I’ll try to find a place of my own as soon as possible. I’ll talk to Mr Borkus tomorrow, and hopefully, I won’t be a burden to you for too long.”

Gregor’s eyes were soft and he smiled. As soon as he said that, she felt the urge to tell him that he doesn’t have to hurry but she stopped herself.

You don’t know this man, he’s a stranger.

Even though he was incredibly nice and kind and he needed her help, she had to keep repeating that he still was a stranger, since she could feel that getting used to him, and those big kind eyes fixed on hers would be very easy. She hasn’t been with a man in a while - Maker, she hasn’t been in a close proximity to an attractive man for longer than she would care to admit, so the feelings Gregor was waking up in her were familiar - just vaguely. She knew she needed to be wary of them though - he was a man she knew nothing about, and getting too attached to him could backfire seriously.

“Let me show you where you’ll sleep tonight then” - she said, trying to distract herself from those thoughts.

—------

“ Retreat, retreat! ”

The loud sound of his voice was echoing in his head. But the strange thing was that it wasn’t his voice, it only sounded like it. In fact, he was looking at himself, half covered in blood, yelling and screaming, and then turning around, seeing himself yet again running towards him, and then himself holding a blaster and shooting, while the sound of explosions overpowered his thoughts. Darkness, confusion, and the words - retreat , retreat constantly ringing in his ears, that deafening sound of bombs, voices, cries…

Gregor suddenly jumped, gasping for his breath, feeling the beads of sweat gathering on his temples.

It took him a moment to realise where he was. It was dark but not too dark. He could see the contours of the room that he shared with a woman he just met at the diner, and he noticed that she was silently observing him from her bed across the room.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”- he whispered, still slightly out of breath.

“No… well, yes… Are you okay?” - she whispered back.

He slowly sat up in his bed, trying to calm his breathing.

“I had a nightmare…” - he said, more like he was explaining what had happened to himself, while wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“Yes, I could tell” - she replied, still not moving.

“Did I say something…?”

“No, you were just… shifting… and breathing loudly..:”

“It’s strange, it was a strange dream,  I saw myself everywhere I turned. Myself as wounded and dying, myself as a soldier shooting at someone, myself as someone running from it all…I just… I can’t gather what that all means…”

“Perhaps you were a soldier…” -  she said, getting up slowly as well to sit in her bed.

“Soldier?” - Gregor asked, surprised.

The way he said it, the confusion in his voice made her wonder how much he actually knew about the world around him.

“You do know there’s a war going on, right?”

Gregor looked embarrassed but he said nothing, and she realised then and there that she always had to assume that he didn’t remember or know anything about the past or the general history or the present. How does one break to someone that there’s a galactic war raging? She’d been on the outskirts of it for a while now, so she wasn’t even sure she could give him the latest state of things. But the war was out there.

“Well, it’s been going on for a while.” - she said, hesitatingly. “There’s the galactic republic, and then there’s the confederacy, the systems and the planets who do not wish to be a part of it. The war… affected places differently. Some planets which sided with separatists - confederats,  were exploited and ruined, others were bombed or the batlles were too severe. We’re on the outskirts of it here, very far away from the core of the conflict.” She wondered if any of it made sense to him.

He listened silently, his eyes getting wider, looking almost like he was suppressing himself from asking too many questions at the same time.

“What side is this planet on?” - he asked.

She shrugged.

"No one’s side really, but there are massive amounts of rhydonium here, and the confederacy was here first to exploit it - so they’re here now, and the settlements are more or less under their control. But there are so few inhabitants here that they mostly leave us alone. They only care for rhydonium…”

The way Gregor looked at her, made her remember that she needed to explain even the most basic terms to him.

“Rhydonium is a fuel source….” - she added. He was quick to nod.

“Right, right..”  - Gregor said. He had so many questions for her, but he realised that he had to take one thing at a time, otherwise all the new information would overwhelm him. He wanted to know about that strange place he ended up in, but he was also slowly realising that besides all of that, finding out about his past and his present, he also wanted to learn more about her. She started to amaze him, her calm demeanour and her patience with him. She barely knew him but she didn’t mind explaining most basic things to him in the middle of the night. He couldn’t understand many things around him, but one thing was very clear to him and that was that he could trust her.

“I’m sorry…” - he finally spoke again. “For waking you up.”

She smiled and shrugged.

“You can’t help having nightmares, there’s nothing to apologise for!” - she said, as she lay back in her bed.

Gregor was quiet for a moment.

“Good night” - he heard her say. “Again”. - she chuckled.

“Yes, good night. Sorry again.” - Gregor mumbled, sliding back to his bed.

But he couldn’t sleep. There was a war raging, and he had dreams of soldiers, bombs, and blasters. He saw himself running, ducking from explosions. What did it all mean?

Gregor was suddenly overpowered by emotions, feeling alone and helpless. He turned to his side and opened his eyes. He wondered if she had fallen asleep already. She looked so peaceful and calm. He realised that he didn’t know anything about her.

I don’t know anything about myself either. Here we are, two strangers, not knowing anything about each other, but comforting each other in the middle of the night.

Gregor didn’t know much, but something told him that things like that didn’t happen too often. That only the lucky ones find people they can be so comfortable with.

—----

Strangely enough, Borkus didn’t seem much interested in Gregor at all. In the coming days, Gregor kept asking him for help with finding an apartment, or about the place where his ship crashed, but Borkus kept saying that they’d talk the next day, which never really came. She heard it every time, the way he brushed him off, and she felt bad for Gregor.

He was hard-working and did everything they asked him to in the kitchen. He ended up being a great help, and both Aleani and Kinn came to like him. After work, Gregor would usually disappear, before he’d return to her place late in the evening. She didn't want to ask him about where he spent his time, but she did warn him about walking too far outside of the settlement.

“What’s outside of the settlement?” - he asked.

“Nothing really. A desert, a void. You could walk for days and you wouldn’t see the end of it, and you wouldn’t even be sure that you were walking in one direction and not just in circles.” - she replied. “Quite a few people disappeared that way” - she added.

Gregor listened for a while and said nothing. She could feel that he was growing impatient with every day and everything that was going on, and the fact that his memory still was so patchy.

“Why do you think Borkus is avoiding all of my questions?” - he finally asked her, his eyes tired.

She hesitated for a moment.

“I don’t know, but I’ve noticed it.” - she finally said. “I think… I’m sure he’s hiding something.”

“Yes, but what?” - Gregor said, desperation lacing his voice.

“Hard to tell really. But as far as I know, there’s only one thing he cares about - credits. And he’ll do whatever it takes, exploit whoever comes in his way to get it. That much I know”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me? I have no credits, I’ve nothing….” - Gregor replied.

“Well…”

“What?” - he looked at her, curious.

“Well, unless, you do. Unless he has something of yours or some information about you that he can cash in with time, so it’s in his interest to keep you here for as long as possible.”

Gregors eyes got bigger.

“You think?” -

“I don’t know.” - she shrugged. Was she giving him too much hope, she suddenly wondered.

“There’s no way to know, of course…” - Gregor said, almost defeated.

“Unless…” - she said again.

“Unless?”

“Well… I was thinking. Tomorrow afternoon he goes on his supply trip, and usually, that takes several hours. I know where he keeps the spare keys from his house in the diner - we could sneak in and see if there’s something there. If he has something, if he found something, it’s there. There’s nowhere else he could keep it.” - she said, feeling excited about her idea.

Gregor was silent for a while and just observed her. She suddenly thought that she perhaps overstepped her line with that suggestion - proposing a break-in, what was she thinking? He must have thought she was nuts.

“Or not, you know, it’s just a stupid idea, I didn’t really mean it…” - she stammered.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gregor looked at her with the biggest grin she had ever seen on his face.

“No, I like it. Let’s do it, let’s do that!”.

—-

The next day, as soon as Borkus left, as usual without saying a word to the rest of them, she looked at Gregor and Gregor nodded.

“Aleani” - she approached him, “Is there any chance you guys could finish off today without Gregor and me?”.

Aleani looked at her surprised - she never left work earlier, and now she was going somewhere with Gregor! He knew something was going on - but he also knew not to ask any unnecessary questions. If there was something to tell he knew she’d tell him.

“Sure, you go ahead, we’ve got this!”

“Thanks, Aleani, I owe you” - she smiled.

“You just be careful, okay?” - he said and she nodded.

She stepped outside and waited for Gregor to appear.

“How far away is his place?” - he asked as he appeared.

“Not too far, just around the corner here.” - she said and pointed.

“How do you have his keys?” - Gregor wondered as he followed her.

Well, I don’t exactly have them, but I know where he keeps them, so… “- she smiled.

She was taking an awfully lot of risks for him, Gregor realised, and wondered if he should say something, or thank her, or stop her, but decided not to. There’d be time for that - hopefully.

As they approached Borkus’ house Gregor’s eyes got bigger:

“This is where he lives? Alone? It’s huge!”

“Yes, that’s Mr Borkus for you! Tiny little basements for us, and a palace for him. Anyway, we don’t have time for that now, come on!”  - she pulled him towards the entrance, worried that someone might spot them. She unlocked the door and they slowly entered.

The house was big, not too big, but certainly huge by Pons Ora’s standards. It had a huge entrance area overlooking a dining room, and a staircase leading to the upper two floors. They entered carefully, worried that someone might still hear them, even though the house was clearly empty.

“Now, if you had something to hide, where would you hide it?” - she whispered.

Gregor shrugged.

“Upstairs, perhaps?”

She looked up and thought for a moment.

“Perhaps, let’s check it out!

Reaching the middle floor they found two extra rooms, one with a bed, and another with a big half-empty closet, that they carefully looked through. They only found clothes and some children’s toys.

“Does he have children?” - Gregor whispered.

“I have no idea. I don’t really know him.” - she whispered back, and immediately wondered why they were still whispering. “We’re not going to find anything here. Let’s check the next floor”.

As they came up to the one floor above they both squinted. It was one big vast area surrounded by long windows on all four sides. An incredibly bright light was entering the room from all sides, but the room was completely empty.

“There’s nothing here” - Gregor said out loud.

She felt her heart sink, disappointed. She was sure they’d find something, and somehow she still believed something was there. She just had a very strong feeling, like an intuition. But the top floor was empty, and there was nothing suspicious on the second floor or the entrance. Suddenly she had an idea:

“There’s a basement! There has to be a basement. There’s a basement in every house here, they’re obsessed with basements in the settlements, as there’s always something to hide around here or someone to hide from!”.

Gregor could barely keep up with her as she sprinted down the stairs and found the basement without any difficulties. As they entered they could feel the cold, moist air, almost similar to the one they breathed in every day in their own basement. It was dark, and they could barely see, but as soon as they entered they could see a large object in the middle of the small room.

Gregor stopped and she thought she heard him silently gasp.

“What is it?” - she whispered. “Something you recognize?”

Gregor shook his head.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Not that I can remember, but… but….”

“What?” - she whispered as she came closer to him.

“I don’t know. I suddenly had chills running through my body, but perhaps it’s the cold, I don’t know… it’s probably nothing.” - Gregor said.

“Let’s see what’s inside” - she said, as she approached the crate. It looked heavy, with a massive lid, that she tried to move but couldn’t. Gregor joined her and helped her, but the lid was simply too heavy and it somehow appeared to be welded into the rest of the crate.

“We’ll never get this opened here” - she said out of breath. “We need to figure out how to bring this back to our basement, or bring some tools over here”.

As soon as she said that they both froze. A squeaky sound of a door opening came from upstairs, followed by the heavy steps against the wooden floor. Borkus was back. Gregor looked at her, and she put her finger on her lips and nodded slowly to him, showing him to just be silent. What was he doing back so early, she wondered. Could he have known something? Did he notice that his spare house keys from the diner were missing?

All these thoughts were raging in her head for what seemed like an eternity when they suddenly realised the sounds of his steps were slowly fading, and then changing the rhythm as he started to climb the stairs. That was their cue to move, but she suddenly froze, completely unable to move. Gregor took her hand in his and looked at her. She could feel her heart beating so fast and hard that she wondered if he could feel it as well. He squeezed her hand harder, came closer to her and made sure that her eyes were on him. She gazed into his eyes, and for a split second she felt like she was washed over by a very powerful wave of calmness, her breathing synchronising with his, and her anxiety fading away. He stayed that way for a moment, and then slowly moved, holding her hand firmly. She followed him closely, squeezing his hand back. They came up to the entrance, and in three steps they were in front of the door. They couldn’t hear Borkus’ steps anymore, and he wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so they assumed he was still upstairs - in any case, there was no time to hang around to find out. Gregor opened the door as silently as he could, not pressing the button for the automatic opening as that would be too loud, but instead manually sliding them open. He showed her to step outside, which she did, slowly and carefully, and he followed. He closed the door behind him, and as soon as they were outside they looked at each other and started running. They couldn’t wait to get as far from his house as possible.

Their basement wasn’t far, and as they approached it she noticed that Gregor was still holding her hand firmly even though they were at quite a safe distance from Borkus' house by that point.

They ran inside their basement, the doors sliding behind them. As they entered they both panted, but Gregor wasn’t letting go of her hand. She felt he was squeezing it as they were both trying to catch their breath. She stood close to him, not trying to free her hand but wondering whether he was aware that he was still holding her hand in his. It went on for almost a minute, them just standing silently next to each other, trying to process everything that had just happened and how close they came to being caught in a break-in into their boss’ place, holding hands.

She could feel it when he noticed. His entire body stiffened, and he looked at his hand, gripping hers and then looked at her. She stood silently next to him, and she smiled, wanting to show him that it was okay. That she didn’t mind. That he was in shock, and that he wasn’t aware that he was doing it and that she understood.

But then without a word he came one step closer to her, his eyes serious and fixed on her. He didn’t release her hand, but instead took her other hand as well, now firmly holding both her hands in his, as his body closed any little distance left between them. He was tall, towering over her, her eyes looking up to meet his. She felt how both their breathings calmed and slowed down, as his chest gently leaned against hers. His body was firm and she could almost feel the heat radiating from him. She was lost in his intense eyes and the way they all of a sudden hungrily lingered on her lips. She instinctively lifted her head up as he moved closer to her, feeling his soft beard on her chin as his lips gently touched hers.