#a3 text

the very first thing that comes to mind for me is the fact that he essentially developed almost a “split” personality when he was literally in fucking MIDDLE SCHOOL, and his SISTER gave him this brilliant idea. apparently it’s something that he still does to this day and? man, having to essentially live in two worlds for that long of your life must be really tough. it was basically to get more people on his side and to realize that he’s a lot cooler than he seems, because he was so introverted in school and he just wanted people to like him. and now, as an adult, he’s still living this “double life” as taruchi, an online persona with tens of thousands of followers, and not that many online figures, at least not ones i watch a lot, tend to act completely different in their day-to-day lives. of course, it’s one thing to be respectful in public and go off a bit when you’re vlogging in private or streaming, but literally having TWO distinct personalities just to hide what you’re like in both of your lives? it just seems really, really tough to me.

basically my point is this really has me thinking about how true to himself is itaru being. how much is he really being himself online AND in real life? listen i know he’s a fictional character, but it still makes me think a lot about how much hurt he must be experiencing in both areas of his life. how much he’s sacrificed internally to have his high follow count, and how far he’s willing to go during his day life to hide the fact that he’s a hardcore gamer hiding under the shell of a polite and social office worker; there has to be so much cognitive dissonance that he’s experiencing, and i can’t imagine that it can’t be taking some kind of toll on him. if one side finds out about the other side, as itaru has quite explicitly stated himself, it would damage his reputation; he’s trying to appeal to as many sides as he can without letting aspects of the other side(s) get in the way of functioning for the one he’s in. as a highly social person, i’m exactly like itaru in the sense that i want to do anything i can for others to like me, even if it means betraying my sense of self and personal values. we both hate being and feeling like we’re alone, and we want others to genuinely feel for us and understand us and attempt to connect with us on a social-emotional level, with whatever method(s) it may take. i try to appeal as many sides as i can, but at the end of the day, when i realize what side is better for me and which one isn’t, it’s so much better for me mentally; it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

but despite this, i think there genuinely is a lesson to learn from this, and that is that it’s always a good idea to live for yourself, first and foremost. if people aren’t interested in you and find you boring or uninteresting, it says more about them than it does about you.

i guess it begs the question: who is the REAL itaru? how much of himself is he REALLY being in both of these aspects of his life? if he were to change things, how more (or less) comfortable would he be? in fact, how do you measure what the “real” someone is? is it based on self-perception or how others perceive you? there are a lot of sociology-based questions and methods/interpretations interwoven into this, but as a non-soc major (even though i do study it from time to time) i am NOT ready to dive into that rabbit hole just yet.

taurus (& same birthday too fuck yeah)

nerds™️

living a “double life,” but for me it’s musician by day and otaku/fanboy/writer who’s lazy and curses casually by night

puts hair in manbun to keep it out of face

at least TRIES to look presentable, esp for work (class in my case skjdhf)

friendly but likes brief convos (although i’m def more outgoing than he is)

FOOD

familiar with social media trends/pop culture & is pretty “with it”

gay af

(If not then Masumi with an affectionate s/o if it's not a problem?)

hello there!!! i’d actually be happy to do this since i struggle with symptomatic AD(H)D at times myself!! also i decided to kind of combine the two prompts together since i’m soft for affectionate masumi uwuwu

masumi

sometimes, masumi can’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed by his s/o’s excitability and hyperactivity; he’s very quiet and introverted, so sometimes he doesn’t know how to respond

however, he does discover that if he sneaks up behind his s/o and wrap his arms around their shoulders, it calms them and helps them focus

he’s a bit shy doing this while others are around, but when it’s just them two alone together, expect all the cuddles and hugs ;w;

whenever his s/o is having trouble focusing or concentrating on a task, he’s always willing to sit down and lend an ear, or just try and help out in any way he can

he has an excellent memory, so he’s more than willing to remind his s/o when they forget about an assignment or something else important

he’s incredibly patient when his s/o finds themselves interrupting him or butting in on a conversation; in fact, he’s distracted by them quite a bit himself and just wants to talk to them because he loves them so much <33

whenever his s/o is having trouble waiting their turn or staying still, he’ll just gingerly reach over and wrap his pinkie or a finger with theirs, and the motion seems to calm them down a bit

his hugs are almost an insta-cure for their restlessness; they’re warm, tight but not rib-crushing, and you can just feel that his touch is full of love, regardless of the fact that he’s not used to giving physical attention

cuddles are 100% going to happen in private; he can get rather clingy lol. he likes to wrap his leg around his s/o’s torso and his arms around their shoulders so he can bury his head in their neck

if his s/o is a touchy person then he’ll probably squirm around a bit (since he’s actually quite ticklish), but he doesn’t mind the contact regardless