#a cheat

Summary: Harry and Y/N are drifting, Y/N catches him

Warnings: angst, really mild mentions of sex

Word Count: 4.8k

Part 4

—–

“I’m sleeping in the guest room. I think I need a change of scenery.”

He was about to turn in his heels, suddenly annoyed by her pestering.

“Wait! I think we need to talk,” Y/N stands swiftly, putting her palm against his shoulder to which Harry curves immediately. He retracts with great speed, almost as if her hand was poison. His eyes catch hers with loaded surprise.

Nonetheless, he sighs, saying, “Look, I’m tired. We’ll talk tomorrow,”

“But Harry, I th-,” She gets cut off by Harry’s booming voice.

“I said we’ll talk tomorrow, Y/N” He said sternly, Harry’s mind flashes to a memory of his actions and makes a decision quickly, “I have someone I want you to meet at work anyway.”

Harry woke up from his deep sleep, yawning and rubbing his left eye with a balled fist.  His chest was exposed from the lack of clothing and from the soft glow of the morning light, he could see faded marks littering his skin. The bruises didn’t come from Y/N’s lips, and frankly, he didn’t even think of her once when he was receiving them from somebody else. He has put himself in an ultimatum because he knows that he should feel some form of guilt, regret, remorse or just something that shows that Y/N still owns his heart. But truthfully, he doesn’t and he’s absolutely confused of what he should do. Like Y/N, he’s asking himself questions; should he tell her? Should he admit that his feelings were not like they used to be? Should he casually mention that his heart no longer belongs to her, but instead another person has cradled it as theirs?

As detached as he is from Y/N, he still cares for her regardless if it’s in a different way now. Platonic, you can say. It just wasn’t the same anymore. He once saw a future with her, maybe a kid or two, identical to either of them hobbling around in the shared home they currently lived in. Now, it’s all gone. Something in him stopped producing feelings of love for her, can you really blame him? I mean, if he’s not happy, shouldn’t he leave? Harry stretches his limbs, bones cracking in relief while he groans, rolling over to the side of the bed, trying to sit up as best as he could in his tired state.  He cranes his neck, looking around for his basic white shirt that he must’ve strewn off from his body during the night. He maneuvers the thick duvet up and down, but to no such luck. He bends down, maybe it fell on the floor, he thought.

He finds his shirt, grabbing it quickly before goosebumps start to adorn his skin. Harry gasps as a realization makes it way in his foggy brain. What the fuck was that? His eyes widen briefly before he snaps his back again, searching for the mauve panties he swore he just saw.  It wasn’t a figment of his imagination because there it is; left untouched and only a remnant of the night he had with her. He chuckles to himself, it has been such a long time since he felt that good. Speaking of her, he fumbles with the items on his nightstand before taking his sleek phone in his hands. He opens the “Messages” app, but before he could type a letter on the bar, a quiet knock sounds through the wood of the door. Harry’s head jolts towards it; fearing he got caught even though he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. Right now, at least. He tosses the underwear under the sheets before clearing his throat and answering the person behind the door, presumably Y/N.

“What?”

Y/N opens the door slightly, peeking her head in through the gap. She gasps at the sight, “Sorry! I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t ready yet,” Y/N thinks to herself, why the heck is she apologizing for seeing him bare with boxers on? After all, they’ve seen each other butt naked countless times, it shouldn’t even be a surprise anymore.

“Why would I be ready? I told you I don’t have time for whatever the fuck it is that you planned for us,” Hary grits his teeth, annoyed since he already made plans in his head–5 minutes ago– but still.

Something clicks in Y/N, anger surging through her so suddenly it made her dizzy. She raises her voice a tad, “ I planned something? I recall me saying that we had to talk last night, did you even hear me?” Y/N shakes her head, chuckling sarcastically, “Of course not! When have you ever last listened to me anyway?”

Harry rolls his eyes. He listened, yes. He just didn’t care enough to take it into consideration to maybe comfort her when she needed it.

“Whatever. Just get ready. We’re going to the studio remember, you wanted me to meet someone,” Y/N bites her lip as soon as she spoke the last part of the sentence, growing nervous at who it will be.

—–

Y/N and Harry are in the Range Rover about to be on their way. However, Harry’s too preoccupied with his phone to notice Y/N huffing on the passenger’s side, arms crossed across her chest, feeling a little bit antsy since they’ve been sat down for about five minutes now. And, no matter what position she sat in, the sun somehow still blinded her directly, even with the shade flipped over. She looks over to Harry just in time to see him bite his lip, smiling down at the device he continued to tap on. She reaches over the console, meaning to turn the volume up on the radio because if they’re going to be here for a while, she might as well try to calm her sense. However, Harry must’ve seen her arm from his peripherals, deciding that she’s out to pry his phone from his hands, he jerks back swiftly to prevent her from doing so. She stares up at him alarmed at the sudden action, Khalid caressing her ears with his voice.  Y/N stares down at his phone, trying to figure out if it caused him to do such thing to which Harry briskly tries to hide from her sight.  Turning it over, he clicks on the lock button, clearing his throat uncomfortably while he shifts in his seat preparing to actually drive.

“Who was it?”

Harry turns his head to do a shoulder check as he pulls the gear shift into drive before stepping on the accelerator to get the car moving. He tries to get his thoughts in order before saying anything. He didn’t want to say spill something accidentally.

“Someone from work, don’t worry about it,”

She nods as if to say that she understands. She doesn’t though because still, her mind started doubting his words. Even after his reassurance,  she wasn’t sure what to believe in anymore. Anything that is coming out of his mouth could be lies and she wouldn’t even know if he was telling the truth or not. Y/N doesn’t know him anymore, she concludes. And it hurts her deeply because he’s the man whom she gave everything to, trusted him with her whole heart even when she was fragile because the love she felt was too strong to ignore. Everything she was was all influenced by his constant presence in her life for the past years they were together, and now that he’s slipping away, it was like she was losing a part of herself with him. Every milestone she hit, he was there to support her; he made her feel loved, wanted and adored–something she barely felt especially with her broken family. He made life feel so warm, she didn’t know that a person could be your home. Harry was home.

A tear slips down her chin to her hand limply laying on her lap, catching her attention and realizing that she was getting awfully emotional all of a sudden. She swipes the tears away to her temples, hoping that Harry didn’t notice. Of course, he didn’t.

His eyes were focused on the road, hands gripping the black leather wheel tightly, gnawing on his pink bottom lip. He couldn’t wait to see her today. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking about another woman especially because his girlfriend was currently sitting next to him looking awfully sad, but before he could question it, she turns her face to glance at the window the same time the stop light flashes green. For a brief moment, he lets his mind wander.

Imagine how broken she’ll look when you tell her the truth, he thought to himself. So he decides that he won’t. Yes, she definitely deserves to know the truth but, she doesn’t need it right now. Harry also decides that if ever, he’ll let her find out herself.

Except she already did.

And maybe Harry’s too much of a coward to admit the truth to her, but he really couldn’t bring himself to spew the words from his mouth. What was he supposed to say? Truth is, their relationship got to the point where it was so dead– as in nothing was happening to them. Nothing interesting, to say the least. Since Harry’s second album was a top priority for him at the moment, it was absolutely relevant for him to gather inspiration from everything he can to make it more personal and vulnerable like his first one. He used to write songs about his previous relationships where his girlfriends and boyfriends mostly all turned out to be using him for their benefit. It hurt Harry and made him more guarded with who he let in inside his walls.

When he met Y/N, he was extra wary of her intentions just as she was of his. Harry’s heart fluttered whenever he saw her, but something inside him held him back from fully pursuing a relationship with her right off the bat, as he usually would.  That was the first burst of inspiration Harry got from her, he wrote songs about feelings of happiness and possibly finding the one; Woman. Then came his courage and he asked her out after months of playing cat and mouse with the woman he so desperately wanted to be his. When she said ‘yes’, he was elated and he wrote more songs about it. The usual.

He’s not blaming her for his lack of inspiration, he’s scowling at the relationship they have. It was going well, too well—very fairy-tale like that he’s sure he has squeezed the last bits of romanticized words and gestures of compassion from his brain and he can’t write about it anymore. His artistic side wanted his album to have something for everybody and an album full of love songs isn’t gonna make the cut in his opinion. He needed that extra spice, the drama, the twinge of rebellion and uniqueness that he couldn’t quite grasp because he hasn’t experienced it lately, and Harry writes from experience. So when the opportunity showcased itself, he immediately took a leap of faith, not thinking about the consequences it’d come with.

—–

It was about four months ago when Harry started being disloyal to Y/N. He’s a bit ashamed to say that the first time wasn’t even an accident, maybe it could be passed off as such, but really, it wasn’t. Harry and Y/N fought about something earlier that afternoon. He was suggesting a week off from their usual responsibilities and driving away to one of the lakeside homes that he had connections to rent. Unfortunately, Y/N’s midterm exams were coming up in about three weeks and she couldn’t waste any time not studying. She paid good money for an education that she’d have to teach herself and she was not going to waste her hard-work now that she’s almost finished.

“Harry, I understand that we need time together, but I have exams coming up soon and I can’t just not study for a whole entire week,” Y/N pleaded, she was trying to make him see things from her pupil perspective.

Harry scoffed, “All you do is study and read. Am I even important to you anymore?”

“You know you are. I’m just saying maybe we can spend time over the weekend instead,”

“I feel like I’m always your second choice. You have time to go on your study sessions with Alan, but you can’t spend any time with me?” Harry asked incredulously, gritting his teeth in boiling anger.

“What? We’re only studying, and I need to study. My education is just as important to me as your music is to you! Do you even hear yourself  right now?”

Maybe if he wasn’t blinded by anger he would’ve realized that his words suggested that he didn’t trust her. But not right now, no, he was jealous and desperate to spend time with her that words flew out of his mouth without a second filter.

“You guys are spending an awful lot of time together recently..” His tone changes to one of mockery as if he really didn’t believe that Y/N could never do such a thing to Harry.

“I’m not cheating on you if that’s what you’re implying.” Y/N said dully. Honestly, how could she? She gave her her own heart for a reason.

“Maybe if you prioritized me first, I wouldn’t!”

“I can’t believe you’re acting like this. When you went away to shoot your movie, I was always in the back burner of your mind. I was lucky to even get a text from you because of how busy you were; this continued for months, Harry! Freaking months, and I supported you the whole time because I knew just how important it was to you,” Y/N ranted on about the emotions that she bottled up inside her, she rarely let her own needs become first because to her, Harry was more significant.

Harry’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, not knowing what to say after being hit by straight facts from his girlfriend. Things that he had no idea she felt. When he realized that he wasn’t going to speak, she continued on.

“When you were working on your album day and night, I was there for you! I brought lunch cause I knew that you’d forget to eat sometimes, and even dinner cause you’d stay up late overworking yourself,” She paused, “And when you had moments where you doubted yourself, saying shit like how you weren’t good enough or whatever you did wasn’t enough, I was by your side comforting when I could’ve been studying abroad for a month,”

“I didn’t ask you to stay,” Harry mumbled.

She blinked at him twice before shaking her head, “I wanted to. You are my number one. It doesn’t matter what happens, I’ll always put you first.”

Normally, Harry would hug her to smithereens and declare his love multiple times in her ear. But Angry Harry would rather debunk and defend himself more.

“I. Didn’t. Ask. You. To. Stay,” His tone punctuated with each word. “I could’ve been fine without you. You could’ve gone through your stupid exchange,”

“N-no you wouldn’t,” Y/N stuttered out, trying to believe her thoughts instead of Harry’s words. “If I wasn’t there, you wouldn’t have the courage to release your album. If I wasn’t there for you, you wouldn’t have been as confident as you are now,”

“And my ‘stupid exchange’? I worked my ass off for that,”

“Probably kissed arse too many times,” Harry whispered condescendingly to himself.

“Of course I worked hard for that. Opportunities like this just don’t get handed down to you,”

“It could be if you were—”

“If I was what? Finish that sentence, I dare you.”

They stared down each other. His eyes begging her not to make him say it while hers watered over. Harry’s eyes hardened, his mouth opening,

“If you were better”

“Better? If you want something better then why are you even with me?”

“You know wha’? You’re right. I could have any girl in the world, but I chose you.”

Y/N screams in frustration, hammering Harry with light punches to his chest, pushing him with as much force as she could, and he only took a step back.

“Leave. Get out! Find someone else to comfort you when you need it.”

She crashes on her knees, sobbing hard that she could feel the burn in her throat. She only looks up when the door slams shut. Harry left.

—–

Harry was inspired by the possibility of a broken heart. The crashing remnants of a relationship and the absurdity of loneliness, he wrote all that his head spilled out, thinking faster than his hand could write. Eventually, when the argument sunk deep in his bones, he stopped and leaned against the studio couch. Harry rubbed a palm across his face, wondering how he was gonna fix this. He basically suggested that she was a cheater and then belittled her education and abilities to achieve something; it can’t be any worse than that. Well, apparently it can.

As he was brainstorming ideas on how to plead for Y/N’s forgiveness, one of the soundboard technicians walks in. Her name is Irene. It wasn’t that hard to remember her since she was trying to butter up to him countless times. He always said no, though.

“Hey Mr. Styles, rough day?” Her hips swiveling exaggeratedly, obviously trying to catch his eyes. She sits down next to him, so close he could feel the heat of her body radiating off of her.

His phone buzzes in his hand, a message from ‘Y/N.’ He swipes to read the message,

“hey, im gonna go head out to the library for a while. I’ll be home late. Text me if you want me to buy you dinner. Sorry, H”

He smiles lightly, but it eventually fades. Even after he just insulted her, she was still willing to care for him and prioritize his needs instead of coming home earlier.

“Hi, it’s fine, be safe. Im sorry too,” He texts back swiftly.

Irene looks at him expectantly, as if demanding his attention.

“How are you, Mr. Styles,” She questions, leaning in closer.

“I’m grea--,”

*buzz buzz*

“Im going with alan btw”

Harry’s brows furrow in sudden anger. Alan? Him again? His fists clenched, his heart aching, but his body was burning with jealousy. He decides to leave her on ‘read’, locking his phone right away.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, pretty rough actually. What about you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Irene’s eye drop down in a hefty wink. Her manicured hand now glossing over his outer thigh. He shifts.

“That’s uh-that’s great,”

“Problems with the missus, Mr. Styles?”

“I guess you could say that. But erm,  Harry’s fine,”

She looks at him oddly, “Why are you talking about yourself in the third person,”

What the fuck? He thinks to himself.

“No, I meant you can call him Harry,”

She nods, “What seems to be the problem here? I can make you forget about her, you know,”

His head clouded and his eyes focused in on her lips, then her exposed cleavage, then to her eyes. The same piercing  Y/E/C eyes that Y/N has.

Before he knew it, their lips were molding together. Smacking sounds filled the otherwise empty room. Their tongues lingered together while their hands roamed against the expanse of each others’ bodies. Was he allowed to do this? Of course not. So why was he doing it?

Soon enough she was sliding down his body, unto her knees between his legs. His jeans were pulled off and then he was naked. Her lips surrounding his thick shaft as he groaned in pleasure.

He returned the favour. That was when he wrote ‘Medicine’.

—–

As soon as Y/N and Harry entered the studio room on the sixteenth floor, the hustle and bustle stopped. Sarah stopped drumming her pen against her journal, Adam and Clare paused their conversation, Jeff was fixing something in the booth so he hadn’t noticed them enter. Mitch was just quiet, as usual.

“Y/N!” The band collectively shouted. It has been a while since she’s visited, they missed her very much.

Sarah invited her to sit down on the couch, pushing off her boyfriend to make space for Y/N. Clare and Sarah conversed with her, catching up on things they’d miss. All three girls were to busy with everything going on in their lives to properly talk and gossip with each other. Harry talks business with the guys, assuming since his laptop was opened and their faces looked far too serious to be banter.

A man walks into the room and Harry immediately shuffles to his feet. His head snaps towards Y/N, nodding her to stand up.

“Mr. Smith, this is Y/N. Y/N, Mr. Smith,” He introduces them to each other. Y/N’s heart calms a bit. So this is who he wanted me to meet.

It turns out, Mr. Smith wanted to meet the muse Harry had to write his banging songs recently. Although still in the process of being fine-tuned, he was impressed with Harry’s newfound ability to write seemingly hit after hit. After all, is said and done, Harry was ushered into the sound booth by Jeff to record some potential tracks. Mr. Smith had to leave to pick up his son. One by one, each member of the band took turns playing their instruments while Harry’s voice guided them. During Mitch’s turn, Harry blessed everyone with his angel-like voice.

“How are you and Harry doing?” Clare asks, curiosity laced in her tone.

“I second that question! Haven’t seen you guys together in a while, is everything okay?” Sarah raises her brow as if to say ‘you can tell us anything’

Just as Y/N was about to answer, the door opens again to reveal a woman. Y/N wouldn’t have paid mind to her like everyone else, except that he could hear Harry’s voice strain a little. In concern, she looks up to her boyfriend, finding his eyes focused on the woman who entered recently, captivated as it seems. Her eyes follow his and land on said woman. She does a double-take at her, trying to figure out where she had seen her face before.

“It’s going okay. We’re fine,”

Clare and Sarah share a look with each other, “Y/N, if something’s bothering you, you can tell us.” Y/N smiles at her friends appreciatively.

“H? Can you come with me for a bit? Need you to check in on something at the office,” Irene’s serene voice echoes through the microphone as she leans over to press a button on the control panel to transmit her voice through Harry’s headphones.

He nods instantaneously, disrupting the recording.

“Wha- Harry you can’t just leave in the middle of a recording!” Jeff dictates.

Harry shrugs, “She needs me,” He makes eye contact with her again, a suggestive look in his eyes. Irene bites her lips slowly.

Jeff sighs, waving him off. Instructing him to ‘come back quickly’. Mitch sets his guitar down on the stand. As if remembering that his girlfriend was here, Harry gives a smile to Y/N, which even she finds odd. He’s a lot stern with her these days; doesn’t smile very much.

Harry follows Irene out the door.

Fifteen minutes passed and Harry has still not returned yet. By now conversation has died down and Y/N scrolls through her phone. She receives a message from ‘UNKNOWN’.

“Aren’t you wondering where he is?”

“Attachment 1: Image”

Y/N waits for the photo to load and when it does, a sense of deja vu rushes through her body. A picture of a door was shown. Confused, she shows the picture to Clare and Sarah.

“Do you know where this is?”

They tell her that it’s the bathroom down the hall. Y/N has never walked this fast.

She hastily walks in the corridor, scared of what she’ll find. The door comes to view, her arms reach out to push the door open. And when it did, she swore that her heart dropped to her stomach.

Harry was thrusting into Irene swiftly, groaning at the pleasure he was receiving, both hands gripping her hips while his head buries itself on her neck. Both of their eyes were closed enjoying the intimacy in a public place.

Wait, Y/N thinks. She scrolls through the previous messages, holding up the phone to eye level before finding similarities in the woman on the screen and the woman currently being fucked by her boyfriend. They were the same person.

“Holy fuck,” Y/N says out loud. Apparently, Harry thinks that it was Irene since he replies with, “Yes baby, feels so good,”

“Okay, retry. What the fuck, Harry?”

The couple halts their actions, gasping and screeching once they see Y/N standing by the door holding it open. Y/N realize that the lack of barricade could expose Harry and potentially harm his reputation, so she closes it and immerses herself for what’s yet to come.

Even now, she cared for him.

Harry retrieves his pants up from his ankles, using his flannel to cover Irene’s exposed chest from Y/N’s view. The mirror was still foggy from their actions and her sweaty back.

“Y/N, it’s–”

“Not what it looks like? You have to be more original than that if you’re gonna cheat on me,” Y/N scoffs. Irene distressingly puts her clothes back on, shooting a glare at Y/N for probably ruining her orgasm. Y/N steps aside to let the ‘bitch’ go through, but not before seething at the girl, “Find someone single next,”

Once the door is shut again, Harry tries defending himself.

“She came onto me! I swear it was an accident, it didn’t–”

“Mean anything? Are you stupid? Did you slip and ‘accidentally’ land in her vagina? What the fuck,”

“S-she…”

“You know what? I’m done with you. I’m done being ignored by somebody who never once thought to put me first. After all this time, I thought you were slaughtering yourself with work, overworking yourself when really, you were busy fucking another woman!” Y/N’s eyes gloss over, but she did not dare let a tear slip past her waterline. He doesn’t deserve your tears.

“We were over a long time ago, you know that,” Harry said.

This twists the knife in Y/N’s chest. Over? They were never ‘over’.

“The fuck Styles? Are you high? We never broke up! We’re still, we’re still Y/N and Harry,” She really wishes they weren’t having this conversation in a bathroom, while Harry still had sex hair and no shirt.

He looks at her with intensity, “You should’ve known. We stopped being us a long time ago,”

Her breath hitches then and she quickly makes a decision to go against her values of never giving cheaters or liars a second chance.

“T-that’s not true. We can make this work, I’m willing to forgive you just please…” Y/N pleads.

He looks at her sympathetically, the only emotion he’s currently feeling right now–not guilt, shame or remorse.

“I love her, Y/N. She has my heart now. Not you,”  He whispers the last part, almost not believing his words himself. Through years, he’d always thought that he’d spent the rest of his life with Y/N. Nevertheless, he should learn to change his vision of the future–with Irene.

“I guess you really did find someone better, huh?” Y/N wipes a rogue tear but remains strong. She may have considered forgiving him, but now his chances are zero; not like he’d care anyway.

“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry. I don’t feel the same anymore,”

“Well good for you! Thanks for breaking my heart and not telling me that we broke up. Asshole, I swear. Hope you made the right choice cause I know I won’t make the mistake of trusting you again,”

Harry rolled his eyes, he just wanted this conversation to be over. Frankly, it was getting a little chilly in the bathroom. “Yeah, sorry,”

Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, realizing that this was probably the last conversation she’d ever hold with him.

“About my stuff, I’ll be out of your way soon enough. Have fun with your new flavour,”

“That’s what I hoped and gee thanks, have fun with yours too if you ever get over me,”  Harry smirk at her menacingly.

She rolls her eyes, burning from the tears she held back. She remains strong.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

—–

Six months later, Y/N graduates university with her best friend and current boyfriend, Alan.

Irene gets a job as a music producer thanks to Harry’s fame, money, and connections.

Harry misses Y/N.

—–