#5soswriting

I’m sitting opposite Calum on my couch in my apartment, I’m studying his eyes intently, waiting for the moment when I could pounce. My eyes dart over to the t.v briefly, the scene is dark, haunting and the music is quite honestly terrifying. His stance is taught, his shoulders higher than they normally would be and his hands are slightly clenched into the pillow in his lap. 

I smirk to myself, this is the perfect opportunity to get back at him for all those times he would hide when I came into a room, only to jump out and scare the living daylights out of me, that asshole. We’re about three quarters of a way into this movie, it’s just about to get to the climax, I didn’t think Calum would be into this movie as much as he is right now, generally we go for more action or adventure when he stays over, but not tonight, I had suggested this B-grade horror movie I had found on Netflix ages ago and now here we are. 

I fold my legs underneath me ready for my moment, the music from t.v gets quicker, more alert to the danger about to unfold in the scene and in my living room. 

All of a sudden a loud bang comes from the t.v and I watch him jump slightly, no time too waste, I jump up and scream as loud as I can, hands flailing in front of me, Calum whips his head to the noise and starts screaming as well, pillow being thrown over his head into the kitchen, knocking something off the counter and onto the floor. His eyes are wide as he watches me flail about before I fall back onto the couch in hysterics.

I feel a pillow hit my back and I sit up, a few tears in my eyes. He’s looking at me angrily, arms folded, chest heaving, “That’s not funny.”

I shrug, “Oh but it was Calum, it so was.”

He rolls his eyes at me, turning back to the screen where the protagonist has finally killed the evil being, with excruciatingly bad acting in tow. I see him start to smile and turn back to me, “You son of a bitch, that really scared me.”

I wink at him, “Yeah that was the point boy.”

“Had you been waiting the whole movie for that moment? Have you seen this movie before?” 

“That was my master plan,” I wink at him, throwing the pillow back in his face, “To lure you over to my apartment, feed you sweets, make you watch this movie just to scare you just as it’s about to finish.” I wink at him again and he can’t help but laugh at me. 

He kicks me in the legs, “And this whole time I thought you were inviting me over to confess your undying love for me. Well never mind, maybe next time.” 

I shake my head at him and laugh, “There will be no confessing of love here tonight Calum, though maybe a couple more drinks, want another beer?” 

He nods at me and picks up the remote, looking through the selections to pick something else to watch. Generally when Calum comes over we watch two to three movies or so, order in something and have a few drinks, we do this maybe every weekend or so.

I grab two more beers from the fridge, popping off the tops with the bottle opener on the counter, reaching down to pick up the bottle that had been thrown off by Calum’s rogue pillow, thanking whom ever that it didn’t break on it’s fall. 

I jump back down onto the couch, handing Calum his beer, he takes a sip and leans back into the couch, “There’s nothing much on here at the moment hey?”

“Mm depends on what you feel like.” I lean over and take the remote out of his hands, “Let the master do her work. Right okay, we’ve got adventure, action, drama or a little bit of romance. How about we delve into that Mr Hood?” 

He looks at me with the most sarcastic look I’ve ever seen someone give, “Romance, really? Give me a break.” 

I throw my hands up in a mock offended gesture, “Geez you negative Nancy over there, we don’t have to watch anything romantic then,” I chuckle at him, “But seriously boy, when you going to stop riding the sympathy train and get out there again? It’s been what, five months?”

“Six.”

“Well then it’s been more than enough time, don’t you want to get out there, meet someone else, or at least get laid?”

With arms crossed, he rolls his eyes at me, “Yeah well of course I do, I just don’t know where to start again, dating really doesn’t suit me I think.”

“Okay well how about just getting laid then? Don’t you miss it?” I take another swig of my beer, the alcohol swimming very nicely in my system now. He does the same, leaning back to close his eyes briefly, letting his head rest on the back of my couch, his black curls falling over his forehead.

With his eyes still closed he takes a sip of his beer, “Yes of course I miss sex, I miss everything about it, but mainly just being close to someone you know? Sorry if that suddenly got too deep.” He lets his head rest in my directions, eye’s now looking at mine, “But aren’t you in the same boat over there? Last time I checked you weren’t bringing men around here every weekend for a quick screw, don’t you miss it?” 

I sigh at him, placing my now empty beer down onto the coffee table, “Yes of course I do, but I’ve only been out of a relationship for a month or so, not six.”

“Yeah well you’re right, I do need to get out there, I’m just a bit rusty I think.”

I nod at him, “Well that’s fair, having been six months and all, I can help you though, I can be your wing-woman.”

He laughs at me, “Okay fine, you can help me, let’s see how that goes then.” 

A silence comfortably lapsing over both of us, clearly we are both thinking of the same thing, the things we miss in regards to being intimate with someone else, no wonder we both spend most of our free time together, it would be quite lonely not having a partner around to fill in the empty silences. 

“So what do you miss the most, specifically?” The beers in me making me slightly more confident to ask an out-there question. 

He looks over at me, “Specifically? Well, maybe, if we’re getting intimate details here, the moment when you’re both connected and you make eye contact, now that’s hot.” He nods at me, insinuating for me to answer my question as well. 

“Neck kisses.” 

He raises one eyebrow at me, “Neck kisses? That’s what you miss the most?” 

“What’s wrong with that?” I retort, “Neck kisses are bliss.”

He rolls his eyes at me, “And here I was thinking you were a kinky girl, guess not, princess.”

I lean up onto my knees, just close enough to lightly punch Calum in the arm, “Fuck you,” He pretends as if he’s in horrific pain, laughing at me, “The foreplay, the lead up, the anticipation.”

He eventually agrees with me, placing his now empty bottle on the table, having finished it very quickly, “Yes I do get that, but neck kisses specifically,” He shakes his head, “Don’t see the appeal.” 

A idea pops into my head, albeit not a good idea, but an alcohol fogged idea nonetheless. I watch Calum as he turns back to the tv, grabbing the remote again trying to find something mindless to watch, something that doesn’t have much depth to it. My eyes trail from his eyes down his face to his neck and a flutter of anticipation erupts in my stomach, this is not a good idea, but I already scared him once, why not go for round two?

I lift up onto my knees once again, this time though leaning onto all fours to crawl over toward Calum, his eyes still glued to the tv. He doesn’t notice at first until I’m sitting right next to him, our bodies touching. He looks at me now, eyebrows furrowed, “What are you doing?” He asks me, an inquisitive look now covering his face. 

Not a good idea - I keep saying over and over, but the cheeky part of me wants to play around, wants to make Calum blush, which really, is always fun. 

I say nothing as I lean closer to him, his confused look still etched over his face. I scoot a little closer so I can get better access and without hesitation I lean down to his neck to place one light, gentle, fleeting kiss to his collarbone. 

He jumps back slightly, light laugh escaping his mouth, “Okay, okay, I get what you’re doing, that’s enough now.”

But having never listened to rules anytime previous to this, I lean down once again, placing a slightly deeper kiss to his upper collarbone, letting it linger there for a second longer. I feel his hand come up to my shoulder, seemingly to push me away, which he starts to do, but before he can, I start placing more light kisses on his neck, making my way up very slowly to his jawline. His hand that rests on my shoulder instead of pushing away is now gripping me, holding me in place, I wish I could see his expression, I want those cheeks to be as red as his favourite button up. 

The sound in the apartment is silence, the remote abandoned on the cushions next to us. I smirk slightly as I hear a faint sharp intake of breath as I decide to deepen the next kiss on his neck, further back slightly, under his ear. I suck lightly, not too long though to leave a hickey, because what are we, fifteen? But just long enough to feel his shoulders and neck relax underneath me, his hand still gripping my shoulder, finger curling every time I suck a little harder. 

I’m so excited to be able to tell him, I told you so. Because who doesn’t enjoy this? Neck kisses are the best, it can be gentle or rough and in such a sensitive area, this is what he gets for laughing at me. 

I decide to get a little more rough as I keep trailing little kisses around his neck, his breathing has started to get a little laboured, he lets his head rest against the couch, meaning his neck is now more exposed, well, well, well, guess who’s enjoying this now. I bite lightly on the skin right under his jawbone and the hand that had been gripping my shoulder suddenly moves to my neck, holding on to the hair situated there. Almost done, I think as I finally get to his jawbone, placing light kisses there, I lift my eyes up to finally get a look at his face and to my surprise, his eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly agape, his cheeks flushed, just as I wanted them. 

I pull back, now face to face with him, his eyes open slowly, “I told you so, you softie, you love it.” 

His expression doesn’t change at my light hearted tone, I assumed he would push me away, laughing in my face about how I was wrong, but instead his eyes seem to darken and scan my face, darting between my eyes and my lips and I can feel my cheeks start to redden now, replacing Calum’s rosy cheeks. 

I feel slightly uneasy under Calum’s intense stare and I start to back away, turning to move to the other end of the couch.

“Stop.”

His voice is gruff, deep, fierce. I surprisingly do as he says, watching as he leans forward, hand snaking its way around my neck, playing with the light baby hairs at the nape. 

I don’t have a chance to even think before he’s pulling me forward, kissing me with such intensity it almost makes my knees buckle. His lips are soft against mine, he tastes like beer, like alcohol, like bad ideas. Both his hands are now on my face, thumbs gently caressing my cheek bones as the kiss intensifies, his tongue making its way into my mouth, a moan embarrassingly escaping, my hands gripping onto his t shirt. 

My head is foggy, my skin is sensitive and now prickled with goosebumps. So many things are running through my head, yet I don’t stop. His teeth pull at my bottom lip and another moan falls out of my mouth, my heart rate quickening at every second. My hands make their way from their tight grip on his shirt to his hair, his soft dark hair making my skin prickle, making me tug at his locks, hoping to elicit a moan from Calum’s mouth. 

My body is starting to heat up, the skin underneath my cotton shirt starts to get feverish, the heat travelling down my body, my dark black jeans incasing a desire I don’t know If I want to let out. My stomach is starting to flip incessantly and I can feel my breath getting shorter and shorter and a slight panic rises up from my stomach making it’s way up into my lungs and suddenly I’m pulling away. I place my hands on Calum’s chest, taking deep breaths, letting the air fill my lungs, my lips tingling at the loss of heat. 

“Calum…” I croak out, my chest heaving. His eyes have somehow gotten darker, piercing into my own, his chest heaves at the same rate that mine does, the only sound that fills the room. I hadn’t realised in the mess of lips, teeth and hands that I had somehow ended up on his lap, my limbs hanging on either side of his legs. I also hadn’t noticed the tightening of his own jeans, his heat pressing right up into me, making my legs quiver. 

A few more moments pass of silence, my heart no longer feeling like it’s going to hammer it’s way out of my ribcage. Calum is still watching me, not saying a word, though the scarlet on his cheeks has increased, his lips matching suit. 

“You’re right,” His voice suddenly fills the silence. He sits up slightly, making us now almost chest to chest, the sudden shift also making my hips seek forward for something, someone, “Neck kisses are fantastic.” 

I don’t know what to say as his hands follow down from my neck, down my back and rests lightly on my bottom, a light squeeze there makes me hips shift again, my tongue coming out to lick my lips. 

With no warning I’m suddenly lifted into the air, I squeak as my hands grapple for something and land on Calum’s neck. Now chest to chest, my head over his shoulder and my legs tightly gripping around his waist. I let him carry me to my bedroom, my head trying to make sense of all this, I try to push everything to the back, let the human desire for intimacy take over, let the desire pooling between my legs take control. Don’t think, just do. 

I’m dropped onto the bed, Calum’s body not leaving mine for more than a second. He leans over me, dropping down to place a kiss onto my lips, feeling the familiar anticipation rise within me, I go to kiss him back, but he pulls back, smirking slightly at me before leaning forward and down onto my neck, placing kisses everywhere he can. 

I grip at his back, my body arching at every touch. He works quickly, swiftly biting and kissing the area, tongue swiping out to lick at the areas, soothing the marks. All the while my hands unbutton his shirt, my fingers sweep over his olive chest, his heat emanating into my palms, his nipples hard underneath my touch. My hands make their way lower, a light press onto the front of his jeans and his kiss turns into a bite, holding onto my skin to stop his groan from escaping. 

I unbutton his jeans, fumbling as best as I can without looking to get the zipper down, I push his jeans and boxes down as far as I can, my breath getting faster against his shoulder. I expect a bite when I finally take a hold of him and that’s exactly what I get, a sharp pain shoots through my body and I involuntarily squeeze, both of us letting out sharp sighs into the silent room. 

Calum decides he’s done with my neck, my favourite part finished, but that also means the fun can really start. He rids me of my clothes, the goosebumps rising again as the cold air hits my body, my nipples now erect, my heat now very wet between my legs, my lips bitten and my neck red and flushed. 

Now both naked he watches me again, he likes to do this it seems, observe, like an animal watching its prey. I decide to take initiative as this whole ridiculous idea of mine was to make Calum blush, was to make him nervous. I lean up, latching my lips onto his, my hand leaning down to give him a few quick strokes, his sigh being swallowed by my lips. 

I push him down onto the bed, his eyes still watching me like a hawk, but this time now, he’s the prey. I don’t take my eyes off him until I lean down, putting him into my mouth, sucking ever so slightly on the tip. He throws his head back, his hand immediately coming to my hair, tugging roughly at my strands, so much for being in control. I let him push me down a few times, allowing me to see what he likes, what rhythm he wants. 

My hands work where my mouth can’t reach, his groans now becoming stronger, more insistent. Brilliant. I let my hands do the work for a moment, my thighs starting to burn from the position I’m in. I can feel myself getting more worked up, my need starting to fill my brain. I place one last kiss to him before I crawl up further, my thighs now straddling his waist. 

He hands me a condom and I rip it open, placing it on him, I line him up and slowly, excruciatingly so I sink down, letting him fill me up, my hands on his chest, nails gripping into the skin, my body aching at how good to it feels to finally be full. I rock slowly, letting my body adjust to him, letting my body feel him, letting him feel all of me. His hands go immediately to my hips, forcing to me to speed up, my head thrown back in pleasure as he takes control again, he really can’t help it can he? I let him do it, I let him bruise the skin on my hips as I lean down onto him, letting him thrust into me, the skin on skin sound filling my ears. I bite onto his neck harshly, not necessarily meaning to make a mark, but if it happens, it happens. 

He’s becoming erratic now, his moans are getting louder, he’s not afraid to make a sound, I like that, some men want to be quiet, but not Calum apparently, he wants you to know he’s enjoying this. I follow suit, letting my moans mix with his, an orchestra of pleasure coming between us. 

I want to take back some control but I’m too far gone, I let him take care of me, I let him use me mercilessly as he thrusts into my body, my bite has now gone to his shoulder, my arms wrapped around his neck, his hands on my back, holding me to him.  

He’s close, his whining is getting high pitched and his grip is tightening, almost painfully onto my hips now, he’s saying my name over and over, his breath hot on my skin. He stills suddenly, his grip holding me down, teeth sink into my shoulder again, they’ll be marks on both of us for sure. The grip on my hips suddenly loosen and his hands come up to my back, holding me closely, wanting me to stay close. 

I don’t move either, letting the feeling of him encase me, letting it overtake me just for a little longer, just incase I never get this opportunity again. 

The stickiness of the sweat between us gets uncomfortable and I lift up off of him, his hands falling to his sides. I brace myself on his chest, my eyebrows scrunching together as he pulls out, my sudden emptiness making my heart ache, my body falling next to him, my eyes closing involuntarily.

Silence fills the room and suddenly I feel that familiar panic rise in my stomach. The age old story of not sleeping with your best friend has just become real. People constantly warn you about how it can ruin everything, how nothing will be the same after and I feel a sting in my eyes, my lip finding it’s way between my teeth. This was my idea, my completely stupid, idiotic idea and here we are, yeah he didn’t say no, but really, this whole thing is my fault. 

We’re both still laying next to each other, side by side, eyes on the ceiling. My panic is rising and I feel like crying, my throat getting tighter at every fleeting thought running through my mind. Having almost read my thoughts I suddenly feel a warm hand run over my own, fingers making it’s way in-between mine, holding on firmly, thumb running along the back of my hand. 

I’m trying to think of what to say, of excuses or reasonings, of decisions to make right this moment to make everything okay. With his hand still in mine, I lean up onto my elbow, ready to start my defence to the jury. But he looks at me, the look of predator and his prey gone, now replaced with a sentimental look, a look of caring. 

When Calum and I had first started dating he was very inquisitive, wanted to know the in’s and out’s about me immediately. He wanted to know what made me tick, what made me smile and what made me shiver. I liked that about him, how much he wanted to get to know the people around him, he wanted there to be no secrets, no surprises, he wanted to be equipped with the knowledge of the other person, shall the moment arise that he would need to use said information. 

One of the many things Calum found out about me was my thirst for leather. It was casually brought up in a conversation about kinks, what gets you off or better yet, what gets you there quickest. I casually answered that the feeling of leather on my skin makes my insides melt and my hands tremble. At the time he laughed it off, though with a very mischievous look in his eyes. 

Fast forward to now and we’re in his Dad’s car, leather seats adorned, he’s wearing his leather jacket and a leather cuff is secured around my neck, a chain attached to his hand if needed. He’s inside me, no time waisted and I feel myself getting light headed at the feeling surrounding all my senses. 

We had just been relaxing at home, enjoying each other’s company when Calum, as usual, had started to let his hands wander over anywhere he could reach from his position next to me. We like to play a game where if the other person wants to start something, the other has to hold out and see how long either can take it. As I was doing just that, ignoring him and letting him get riled up slowly he was touching and caressing every part of me, just enough to make the heat between my legs throb. 

He didn’t want to play the game tonight though, he wanted something dangerous, an adventure. His usual caresses stopped and instead of letting me come to him he had reached over, my chin in his hand and had forced me to look at him, let’s go, he had whispered to me, though with enough desire in it to make my stomach flip. 

He had demanded I take off my underwear, keeping all other clothing on and that’s when he pulled out the collar to place around my neck, only then had I realised what kind of night this might turn out to be. 

He had pulled me to the car, but not his usual car parked in the garage, no, it was the car parked on the street, the car he was borrowing from his Dad for the weekend. We had taken a road trip only the day before, the leather seats on my bare thighs had elicited something deep inside me and after we had gotten home, Calum had tied me up and had his way with me.

We only drove for about five minutes, the last four had me with Calum’s cock in my mouth, him roughly holding on to my hair, sinking me down as far as I could take it, my gag reflex causing my eyes to sting and my hands to grip harshly onto his thighs, but the groaning from above me was enough for me to hold out, knowing it would be well worth it. The car had stopped and he let go of my hair, coming up for a long breath of air, my lips swollen and saliva covering my chin. 

There was nothing else said before he had tugged on my collar, straddling him quickly as I lined him up before sinking down, hands braced on either side of his head. 

He pulls at my hair, bringing me back to reality, my head is pulled as far back as it can go, my mouth agape. I feel fingers enter my mouth and I suck eagerly, my eyes fixed on the inner ceiling of the car. The humidity in the car is making my head feel foggy and I let my body be taken over by the pleasure erupting inside of me. Calum is whispering to me, telling me everything he knows I love to hear. How good he feels, how good I make him feel and how hot it is with his collar wrapped around my neck. I hum in agreement, my neck starting to hurt from being pulled back with force, but I let him control me, I let him use my body. My body is his. 

His large hands come up to straighten me up and I see stars in my vision, he holds my head with one hand, the other still on my hips, forcing me up and down in a steady rhythm. He kisses me hard, feverishly as I start to feel myself get closer. I let my hands travel up and down his leather jacket, my skin prickling at the sensation, my nipples hard underneath my shirt. I grab his hand, placing it on my breast, letting him know I need attention there and he doesn’t hesitate, lifting my shirt up to my collarbones, leaning down to take the light pink bud into his lips, swirling his tongue around, the feeling making my head swirl. 

My own pleasure is building up quickly, my movements starting to become sloppy with my mind focused elsewhere, though Calum makes sure to keep me steady, holding tightly onto me, guiding me up and down. I close my eyes and lose myself to the sounds that echo in the car, Calum’s heavy breathing and sharp intakes of breath, the sound of the leather on leather and the loud whine that escapes my body as my climax washes over me, my head lolling forward onto Calum’s shoulder. 

He holds me there, hands securely around me, I let him continue to rock into my body, eventually letting his own climax wash over him as he finishes inside me, both of us holding each other in the humid car. 

“How you going in there?” I hear Luke yell from the bedroom. 

I tailor off the end of my left eye, nailed it, “Yes fine!” I yell back to Luke, “Just onto the last eye, I’m almost done, okay? No sudden movements.” I hear a faint chuckle as a reply. 

I look up to see him suddenly in my reflection behind me, watching me struggle to match my eyes. I turn to look at him, “Yes sir, can I help you?”

He smiles at me, “I just like to watch you do that sometimes, it’s interesting you know, makeup.” 

“Yeah but it’s a bitch to do,” I swivel back around, ready to finish this, “But when it’s all done it’s worth it.” 

With steady hands I go to work on the other eye, letting the pencil run smoothly over my lid before  I lean back. Thank god for that, they actually look somewhat the same. 

I jump up, “All done!” I walk into the bedroom, ready to throw some clothes on and get out of here, but I stop at Luke’s expression, “Everything alright?”

Here’s looking at me with an inquisitive expression, looking as though he really wants to say something. Shit, maybe I’ve done an absolutely terrible job at this makeup, damnit. 

“Luke? What is it? Is it the makeup? Too much? Shit…” I trail off, turning to go back to the mirror. 

“No! It’s not that.” 

I stop my retreat back to the dreaded bathroom mirror, turning to look at him, “Then what is it?”

He pauses for a moment, his hands wringing together in his lap, “Can I try some?”

I furrow my eyebrows at him, “Try some what?”

“Makeup?” His eyes look away from me.

I lightly chuckle, “You want to put some makeup on? Why?” I pause when he turns away from me looking slightly flustered and embarrassed and I immediately regret my laugh and choice of words.

“Never mind, forget I asked.” He grabs his jacket off the bed and starts to make his way out of the room. I run over to him, grabbing his arm and turning him to me. I can see a light glisten in his eyes, I feel terrible. 

“Luke, I didn’t mean to laugh, I’m sorry,” I put my arms around him, “I really am.”

“That's okay, it was a weird request I know.”

I take a step back, “No it wasn’t, you just caught me off guard, that’s all.” I walk him back over to the bed where we both sit down, “So, you want to put some makeup on hey?”

He shrugs, “I’ve just always wanted to try you know? Nothing too over the top, I just thought maybe some eyeliner would be nice, maybe some concealer for my horrible tired looking eyes.”

I frown at him, “Stop that, you know I love your eyes.” He shrugs once more at me, not fully believing my words, "But you know you could have asked me ages ago, concealer is very easy to apply.”

“Yeah I guess so, I just have always been too nervous to ask. It’s still kind of strange for men to wear makeup, for some reason.”

I lift my hands up to his cheeks, my thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones, “I’m sorry Luke, I didn’t realise you felt that way.” 

His eyes finally meet mine, “I mean, I feel nervous even putting on chapstick let alone leaving the house with eyeliner, just thought you could help you know.”

My stomach clenches, I never realised how insecure he felt. I should have seen this, I’m his best friend, why didn’t I notice? A feel a slight sting of tears coming on, he looks so vulnerable in front of me. I notice him watching my reaction, his hands holding tightly onto each other.

“Of course I can help you,” I lean up to lightly dab at my eyes, “I didn’t realise you felt this way Luke, I wish you had told me.”

He sighs, “I’m sorry, I just never felt confident enough to ask.”

I take a deep breath before standing up, “Okay well we better get to it then.” I smile at him, leaning down to grab his hand and pull him toward the bathroom. I sit him down in front of the mirror and lean my chin down on top of his head. I look at him in the mirror lights, his blue eyes shining, I’ve always loved those eyes.

I feel an elbow lightly hit me in the ribs, “Hey you, you’re meant to be helping me aren’t you?” He laughs at me, one eyebrow raised. I shake my head at him, leaning over him to grab the concealer first. I apply a few dabs under each eye, my ring finger patting to blend in the liquid, before letting him look in the mirror. 

His eyes go wide and he leans towards the mirror, “Wow, that’s crazy,” He turns from side to side, smiling wildly, “I look so awake, so bright.” He beams at me and my heart swells. 

“Okay, so eyeliner now?” 

He nods and turns towards me, I apply a little to the waterline after a bit of getting used to, it’s always strange when applying eyeliner for the first time. I lean back and study my work, not too bad if I say so myself and damn, my best friend looks like a hot rockstar. 

He once again studies my reaction, “Do I look okay?” 

“You look beautiful Luke.”

He rolls his eyes at me but stops dead in his tracks when I turn him back to the mirror. He looks at his reflection for a moment, moving his head every which way. He then turns to me, “I love it.” He really does look fantastic, the liner makes his eyes pop and the concealer hides the light darkness he had under his eyes. 

He stands up, suddenly towering over me, that man really is tall. He smiles at me before suddenly taking me into a bear hug, my feet coming off the floor slightly. 

“Okay yes,” I struggle to say, “I love you too, now let’s go hey.”

He laughs and puts me down, following me as we grab our jackets, heading down the stairs and out my front door. 

I watch him as we make the ten minute walk to the bar down the road. I should have realised sooner that he was insecure and not so confident, he usually always walked a little hunched, trying to be at the same height as everyone else, not trying to be noticed, not trying to be seen. 

Now though he walks with a little more confidence, shoulders back and head raised, with a little more fire in his eyes. He looks excited and happy. 

He breathes slowly, surely, trying not to make himself dizzy, the gag in his mouth is making his jaw ache, he doesn’t know how long it’s been there, but his chin, neck and upper chest are all now covered in his saliva. He can’t see that though, only feel the cool sensation on his chest, his nipples hard at the change of temperature. It was a matching set, the cuffs, gag and blindfold, black suede with a red trim. She let him pick it out, let him feel the fabric between his fingers, before she had demanded him kneel in the middle of the room, ready for instruction. 

He can hear her shuffling around, picking up different items that she owns, most of the time he can’t even remember everything she has. There’s draws and shelves of different toys, outfits and restraints waiting to be used. Luke always think they’ve tried everything she owns, but sometimes she’ll bring something out and Luke’s eyes will widen at the contraption, unsure of what’s about to happen and that always makes his mouth water, eagerness shines bright over his eyes. 

So far for this session there has been a light spanking, a thank you being spoken every time the whip came down onto his milky skin. At one point his nipples were encased in clamps, the feeling sending pleasure and pain shooting through his whole body, the hair on his neck had lifted at the sensation. After the clamps was a quick bit of wax play, he didn’t love that as much as he enjoyed the rest but he knew she did, and as always, he did as he was told. 

He suddenly feels a hand in his hair, no harsh intentions, just light pressure on his scalp, nails scratching, making him feel lightheaded. Her hand trails down to the clasp at the back of the gag, he feels her fiddle with it and then it pulled away from him, the pain shooting through his jaw as he closes it for the first time in awhile. Luke lets the air fill his lungs as her hand goes back to his hair massaging his scalp in the process, making him melt at her touch. 

“Colour.” 

“Green.” He replies, letting her know he is happy to continue. 

“Good boy.” 

Those two words always makes his heart swell, makes his stomach flip and his hands clench. When he originally looked into dominatrix and BDSM he didn’t expect it would make him feel the way it does. It was recommended to him by one of his bandmates after an exhausting and downright tiring world tour, the responsibility of performing on stage every night and doing promos and interviews made him weak inside, made him want to curl into a ball and not wake up. When Calum suggested BDSM he was initially completely put off, of course he had heard of it and he had dabbled with previous girlfriends, but generally it was him tying someone up, him being in control. But when Calum suggested that it would be good for him to lose control, for someone to take care of him in a safe space, to be able to let go, then he became intrigued. 

It took him some time to research and look up different places and people who offered various services. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he felt that he would know once it was in front of him. After a few weeks of studying his options he came across an ad for a woman named Ruby Red, there was a picture accompanying the ad, Ruby looked to be around thirty-five or so, she had soft features, sharp green eyes and mid length brown hair, she was wearing a lace bondage set, the picture had made Luke’s stomach flip and he immediately gave her a call.

He remembers parking his car on the street outside her house, the nerves racking every bone in his body, he had to force himself not to turn around and drive back to his house. After a few minutes of deep breathing he exited his car and made his way to her house, feeling his palms sweat every step he took to the front door. 

Their first meeting was an introduction to the world of BDSM, Luke had mentioned over the phone that he was completely new to all this and she explained that the first appointment would be a lot of conversation, a time to talk about what he needed and what his boundaries were. 

He immediately felt very comfortable around her, her demeanour was soft, calming, she made Luke feel relaxed in her presence, even though his heart rate would speed up every time she mentioned something she could do for him. 

“Pegging?” Her soft voice floats through her office, he expected to open the door to her wearing another bondage get up, but instead she was wearing light jeans and a button up blouse.

His eyes widen, “What is that?” 

She smiles at him, “Pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo or holds a handheld dildo or vibrator and uses it to have anal sex with her male companion.” 

Luke feels a small bout of arousal shoot through him and he can’t help but look away, wringing his hands together nervously, “Um, I guess, maybe, I could try.” 

“How about I put it down on the maybe list? We can bring it up further down the line if you’re comfortable.”  Luke nods at her direction, “Fisting?”

“Um, ah, no thank you.” 

She nods at him, her pen scratching at the stack of papers she has in front of her, Luke’s name front and centre, “How do you feel about urination? Golden showers?”

He scrunches his nose at that one, “Definitely not.” 

She nods, smile still in place. He keeps having to remind himself that she won’t laugh or make fun of the things he does and doesn’t want to do. He’s expecting that at any moment men with cameras are going to jump out and his horrifying picture will be spread across every tabloid cover - 5sos frontman Luke Hemming’s a BDSM freak. 

“Okay so we’ve now gone through your physical and emotional limits, previous experience and health conditions, I’ll just go through some last other little details then I’ll show you the room.” She places her stack of papers on the table in the middle of the office, “When you enter the room I will place a collar around your neck, this will show your submission to me and the session will begin. You will either address me as mistress, madame or Ruby unless I specify. Now every session is different, generally we begin with light spanking or whipping with light bondage to begin and then the session will proceed from there, I can’t say exactly how each session will go as every client is different and has various needs depending on the day.” 

Luke nods at everything she is saying, trying to take it all in. He’s as anxious as he assumed he would be at this point, it’s a little intense when everything that could be done to you is read out in an organised list but on the other hand it’s nice to know nothing will be sprung on him, nothing to scare him - too much. 

That was four months ago and he’s been seeing Ruby every week since that first meeting. He was still so skeptical right up until the first actual session, but eventually Luke eased it into, really allowing himself to let go, to let someone take the reins. His first session with Ruby Red was exactly as she had described, he had walked into the room, instructed to strip, but if he wanted he could keep underwear on. He remembers watching Ruby sit down on a leather couch, this time she was clad in a red lace corset and a latex skirt donning her lower half. He was instructed to bend over her knee, the request had made Luke blush like mad, but he did as he was told, getting fifteen spanks from her hand, the area left red and raw. 

Later on that night when he was eyeing off his backside in the bathroom mirror, his stomach clenching every time his own hand would graze over a bruise that was left there by her. Initially he didn’t think he liked the spanking part of his session, but as he rubbed lotion onto the used skin all he could think was wanting someone to barge into the bathroom, hold him down and use their hands to mark him some more. 

Each session had brought something new, it started with different apparatuses - paddles, whips, floggers. There were clamps and ropes and chains, even a rough pinwheel that rolled along his chest, giving him the most intense whole body experience. Ruby had told him to let go and he listened, letting years of taking on more and more and having to put on a smile even when he didn’t want to, wash away from his head, down his body and onto the floor, leaving him feeling light and elated. He had cried that session, letting everything he had been holding back in a glass cage be smashed to pieces, the shards falling around him like snow, his hands finally unclenching.

He’s brought back to the present time with a sudden tug on his neck, the collar he’s wearing being pulled against his skin. 

“Luke, what do you want me to do?” Ruby’s voice echoes over him, making him shiver with anticipation and delight. 

“Choke me mistress.” 

“What do you say Luke?”

Luke’s eyes close as he feels another soft tug at his collar, “Thank you mistress.”

“Good boy.” 

After the choking session was completed and Luke letting himself get lost in the feeling, Ruby had decided to tie him up, completely held together by red ropes, hands bound together, legs and feet bound together, it almost felt like every inch of his skin was encased by those tantalising red ropes. It was another one of those feelings that made his skin prickle and nipples harden, he was bound, no escaping, no control. He was completely allowing his body and mind to be handed over to another person, he let himself sink into that feeling, wondering how long he had let himself feel wound up inside, now though finally that coil in his stomach was coming undone. 

His bandmates noticed a difference in him, he exuded a different energy than he used to. He would always put on the mask when he had to, a permanent smile plastered over his face, though his eyes would always catch him out, the sparkle not shining anymore. Now though he felt a calm wash over him, a serenity bleed into his skin and it showed, he no longer felt the heaviness of the responsibility of being in this band weigh him down, he now knew that he had an outlet to let someone else take responsibility, even if it was for only an hour every week.

Luke slips both feet into his jeans, redressing himself in the corner of the room, where he had left his clothes neatly folded. He exits the room and smiles when he sees Ruby waiting for him outside. 

“I’ll see you this time next week Luke, be good.”

Luke nods, “I will, thank you Ruby.” 

Luke retreats back up the stairs to the front door, letting himself out with ease. As he walks back to his car, keys swinging in hand, he allows himself a moment of reflection, sighing in contentment. He’s very glad indeed that he met Ruby and that she’s allowed him to find a part of himself he forgot he had. 

I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea to take up dance lessons, I thought maybe this might be a hidden talent I have, underneath sub par juggling and balancing a spoon on my nose. I had done dancing as a child and had somewhat taught myself how to slow dance, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case with learning actual dance moves, it didn’t come as easy to me as I would have liked and if it wasn’t for Calum’s insistence on the matter then I wouldn’t be here trying my hardest to turn without getting dizzy. 

“You can’t give up,” Calum takes my hand as a single tear falls, “Nothing great ever came easy. You know that.”

I sigh, “I’m just not getting it and the other students laugh at me.”

“You know that’s not true.” 

I sigh, letting myself fall into his lap and tucking my head under Calum’s chin, “No it’s not true, they are very nice, but still! I’m just finding this harder than I thought it would be.”

His hands tighten around my waist, “When have you ever been one to give up?” 

I hadn’t ever been one to give up, I always tried new things in hope of finding a new hobby or making new friends. I was always determined to at least give it a go, sometimes like this time it didn’t always click as much as I would like, but I would always see it through, even if I didn’t continue with said hobby. 

But this one idea has rocked me - dancing. I was convinced I had enough rhythm to carry myself through it, but apparently not. 

A knock on the door stops my turn abruptly I yell to whoever it is to come in. I smile as my favourite mess of curls walks through the door, holding snacks and a little bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

“Calum!” I beam at him, I run to turn off the music still playing before bouncing towards him, “What are you doing here?” 

He smiles back at me, handing the beautiful flowers to me, “Thought I would bring you these to cheer you up.”

I grab the flowers and turn away from him, not wanting him to see the inevitable blush forming over my cheeks, one thing that I can always count on from Calum is him being an absolute sweetheart. I place the flowers down onto the table near the door, turning around to see him already starting to devour the assorted snacks. 

“Hey!’ I yell at him, walking over to snatch the chip packet out of his hands, “Don’t eat them all.” 

He pouts at me, trying to smile with a mouth full of food, “What? They’re my snacks.”

I shake my head at him, grabbing my own handful of chips, trying not to spill any on the floor, “So, what are you really doing here? Hm?” He raises his eyebrow at me, “Do I need another reason to come see my girlfriend?” He holds his chest in mock hurt, his eyes pretending to roll back into his head. 

I lightly punch him in the arm, his mock expression getting worse and worse, “Oh shut up, you know I love unexpected Calum visits, I’m just curious is all.”

He walks towards me, grabbing my face and squishing my cheeks together as tight as they can go, “Because I wanted an impromptu lap dance from my lady.” 

I pull back from him, the sound of his laugh making my heart dance, “No way baby, this is a closed session.” 

“Okay fine,” He once again grabs my face, but this time to lean forward and place a light kiss on my lips, “I came to see how you are going. To see how to the routine is coming along.”

“It’s getting there,” I sigh, his hands now caressing my cheeks, “Slowly.”

He leans down for another kiss, this one slightly longer. I let myself relax into his touch, let the stress and anxiety wash away down my body and onto the floor. I pull back only to reach forward again, wrapping my arms around him, my head sitting underneath his chin. 

I feel a kiss onto my hair, “You know, I could always help you.”

“How?” I mumble into his shirt.

He pulls back to look at me face to face, a smile adorning his cheeks, “I can be your dance partner!” 

I look at him incredulously, I do love my boyfriend don’t get me wrong but that boy can’t move his body if his life depended on it, he tries though, when we go out to bars and clubs, but even then, whatever his body is trying to say, well it’s lying. 

“….seriously?” I ask him.

“Why not? This could be great,” He starts mapping out with his hands how apparently it would all work out, “Right here we go, you teach me how to dance first off obviously and then bam! We’ll take this town by storm with our moves.” 

My boyfriend could not be any cuter, seriously, “So you want me to stop what I’m doing to teach you how to dance just so eventually we can be dance partners?”

He nods enthusiastically, “It’s a perfect plan, not one flaw!” 

I drop my head, hiding my laugh beneath my hands, “Oh my god Calum, you are ridiculous you know that?”

“But oh so cute,” He walks forward, grabbing my hips and pulling me close to him, “Okay no time to waste, let’s get started.”

“Calum come on,” I start to pull away, but he pulls me close again, grabbing both of my hands in his. 

He looks at me, steadying up his posture ready to go, “Teach me how to dance, I’m ready.” 

I sigh at him, there really is no winning with this boy. I let his cute smile overtake me and I steady my posture across from him as well, I might as well just teach him some moves so that I can get back to learning my own dance. 

“Okay I’ll lead,” I tell him, smirking at he rolls his eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes at me Calum, I’m the teacher remember?” 

He pokes his tongue out at me, rolling his eyes again at me, I swear too god those eyes are going roll right out his head one day. I nod at him and tell him to watch my feet, I slowly but surely lead him around the floor, his eyes never leaving our feet once. I smile though he can’t see that as we make our way around once more. 

I stop to lift his chin up with my finger, smiling at his nervous look, obviously not wanting to step on my feet. I nod at him once more and we slowly waltz around the room again, Calum only managing to step on my feet four times, not bad. I know the waltz well enough to teach him the absolute basics, so as I lead him around the room, his eyes darting to his feet constantly I let myself watch his face, the way his eyes scrunch up in annoyance and intrigue, his tongue poking out slightly in his mouth trying to concentrate on each move. He’s counting out loud the steps that I explained to him, his grip on my waist never faltering just in case he falls. 

“You’re doing great baby.” I whisper to him, he nods but doesn’t let up, concentrating as hard as he can to make sure he gets it. Twenty minutes or so passes and he’s getting better with every round we take, my eyes watching him and his eyes only occasionally now darting to our feet. 

I lead him to a stop, satisfied with the dance, “Well done Calum, that was really good.”

“We’re not done though!” He tells me. I look at him in confusion and I’m suddenly gripped by his hands, my own hands grappling at his shirt as he throws me to his side, dipping me down in as graceful a fashion as he can handle. I can’t help but laugh at loud, my laugh echoing in the empty studio. He pulls me back up, my cheeks flushed red from being upside down and him fixing a strand of hair that had gone astray. 

“Now we’re finished,” He beams at me, jokingly grabbing my hand to bow towards an audience we don’t have.

“Absolutely amazing, can’t you hear the crowd!” I play along with his joke, loving how all my stress from trying to learn my own dance is gone. 

“Okay, now it’s my turn to watch you,” He lets go of my hand, walking over to grab some more snacks before sitting down in the corner of the room cross legged, “Take it away, beautiful.” 

I shake my head at him, laughing at his stance in the corner of the room. I take a moment to give myself a few quick stretches before pressing play on the music again and letting myself start my moves over. I can feel his eyes on me, albeit with a mouth full of chips, watching my every move.

I come to stop, watching my self in the mirror before I hear Calum screaming my name, clapping as loudly as he can, “Yes! That’s my girl! Damn right!” 

I blow him a kiss, setting myself up to practice it again. 

Ashton looks up from his place on the couch, placing a bookmark into the spine of his book, saving his place for later, “And what would that problem be Luke?” 

Luke lick his lips, looking at his husband from across the couch, “Have you noticed we have sex the same time and place every night?” 

Ashton raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms in mock defence, “What are you talking about?” 

Luke sighs, jumping up to walk over, sitting down closer to the brunette, “Every night, after the dinner and dishes are done, after an hour of t.v we then go to the bedroom and have sex.” 

“Are you complaining about the sex?”

“No!,” Luke grabs Ashton’s hand, “Of course not, I love our sex life, it’s just….”

“Just what?” 

“It’s predictable.” 

Ashton waits for a moment, watching as Luke’s worried face scans his. A smile appears across his face and he can’t help but laugh, throwing his head back onto the couch. He watches as Luke crosses his arms at him, clearly not happy with his reaction to his concern. 

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“Aw babe, I’m not laughing at you, I’m sorry.” He leans forward to place a kiss on Luke’s still angry face, peppering a few kisses around his eyes and cheeks and rolling one of Luke’s curls around his finger, “You’re worried that our sex life is too… scheduled?” 

With his angry face still plastered on, Luke throws himself back onto the couch, moaning out in exasperation making Ashton howl with laugher from his overdramatic scene. Ashton can’t help but smile at his cute husband, he’s always been one to be just a little over the top, but hey, that’s what he loves about that man. 

Their sex life lately is a little bit calculated, it can’t be helped though both men work full time day jobs, so most of the time they are exhausted when they get home and the only time they can have sex is late at night. 

After a few adorable moments of watching Luke sulk on the couch, Ashton leans up and over, crawling across Luke’s body to settle on top of him, Luke’s arms coming around Ashton immediately, settling on his lower back. Ashton lets his head fall into Luke’s neck, breathing in his scent deeply, sighing in the process.

“I love having sex with you Ash,” Luke says, squeezing his hands around him, “I just think we’ve gotten too, I don’t know how to say it….”

“Vanilla?” Ashton mumbles into Luke’s neck. 

Ashton feels him nod against his body and he presses a kiss to Luke’s neck, he’s right though, they have gotten a little bit vanilla than what they used to be. When Luke and Ashton first starting dating they were all over each other, it first started with heavy petting in movie theatres, a hand job or two in an empty parking lot, maybe a quick blowjob at a viewable window. That all was thrown out the window once they realised how much they loved the thrill of being a little more mischievous. The heavy petting turned into blowjobs at an afternoon showing of a movie they didn’t much care for, sex in the car in an empty parking lot, Luke’s long limbs always marking up the inside of their car and they would sometimes rent a hotel room just to have sex against the huge glass windows, knowing someone could be watching at any moment. 

But as the years went by, they got busier and busier with work and they got comfortable in the laziness of their sex life, how easy it was to quickly have sex then be able to fall asleep in their own bed, undisturbed. Ashton hadn’t given it too much thought, but sometimes when he would drive by a hotel, or an empty car park he would get a little rush shoot through him as he thought about all those hidden moments with Luke. 

“I have an idea.” Luke says, shaking Ashton out of his thoughts, “A good idea if I say so myself.” 

Ashton laughs into Luke’s neck, sitting up so he’s now straddling the younger boy’s torso, looking down at him, “And what would that idea be Mr Irwin?” 

Luke bites his lip, hand coming up to hide his face. They’ve only been married officially for a couple of months, so every time Ashton calls him by his new last name it never fails to make Luke blush a scarlet red. 

“A challenge.”

“Go no.”

Luke sits up, making him and Ashton now chest to chest, “A challenge to see who can come up with the best new way for us to have sex.” 

“Okay, and what does the winner get?”

“He gets to do whatever he wants to the other contestant, for example, you.” 

Ashton smiles and lightly punches Luke in the arm, “So you’re automatically assuming I’m going to lose then huh?” 

Luke nods, leaning forward to lightly kiss Ashton on his cheek, “Yep, you do remember it was my idea to rent the hotel room.” 

Ashton rolls his eyes, “Yeah yeah, whatever, but it was my idea to give you a blowjob in the cinema,” He rolls his hips forward, “And I didn’t see you complaining about that.” 

Ashton watches at Luke licks his lips, he can almost see the memories of that night in Luke’s eyes, he rolls his hips down once more, seeing if he can get a reaction out of him. 

Luke moans quietly, closing his eyes for a moment, “We can start now if you like.” He breathes out, hands going to Ashton’s hips, fingers tightening onto the waistband of his jeans. 

Ashton sly smile stretches across his face, he leans forward capturing Luke’s lips in a heated kiss, tongue immediately entering his mouth. Luke moans, letting Ashton hold him in place, his own hands trail round to the front of Ashton’s jeans, palming the tightening denim, loving the way it makes him breathless. Ashton breaks apart from the kiss, leaning forward briefly to lick them, taking Luke’s bottom lip into his teeth, biting very lightly at the soft skin. 

Ashton jumps off of Luke, holding onto his hand in the process, “Follow me.” He whispers, tugging on Luke’s arm. Luke follows Ashton through the house and to the from door, excitement rushing through him, wondering where Ashton might take him. 

They both stop at their car, the faint light from the house still illuminating them both, the cold night air making Luke shiver. He watches as Ashton turns to him, an almost devilish look on his face as he leans forward pushing Luke up against the car, hands trailing under his shirt to stroke his smooth skin. 

Luke pulls away, “I think you forgot the keys babe.” 

Ashton shakes his head, hand coming down to rub Luke through his jeans, “No love, I’m going to fuck you right here, on the hood of our car.” 

Luke’s eyes shoot open, head whipping side to side, watching just in case the neighbours could see them, “Ash, what if someone sees us out here?” 

Ashton shrugs, undoing Luke’s jeans ,grabbing them and his boxers, pushing them down to Luke’s thighs, his hand reaching out to hold him, stroking gently. Luke bites his lip, eyes still darting around, they live close to their neighbours, if one of them were to even go their porch right now they would have a nice view of Ashton now on his knees, tongue licking up and down Luke’s cock. 

Luke closes his eyes, hands automatically going to Ashton’s hair, tugging at the strands, letting him get lost in the feeling. Ashton starts to suck, tongue swirling around the head, hand still stroking where his mouth can’t reach. His other hand reaches down to play with Luke’s balls before descending further, fingers reaching down to rub against Luke. 

Luke clenches, hand almost painfully tugging at Ashton’s roots, he opens his eyes again, taking one last look around to make sure no one is watching their adventure before he beckons for Ashton to stand, helping himself to Ashton’s zipper, tugging it down to his thighs also. He then turns around, leaning over the hood of the car, hands resting on the cool metal. 

Ashton slicks up his cock with as much saliva as he can, knowing that Luke can take it like this, they’ve done it before, though he may just be feeling it a little more tomorrow morning. After inserting two fingers briefly to ease him into it, he then lines himself up and pushes in slowly, hands going to Luke’s hips, steadying himself. 

Luke hisses into the brisk air, bracing himself as Ashton enters him, letting the feeling of being full wash over him. He knows that Ashton won’t be gentle, he can usually tell if it’s going to be a sweet and tender Ashton, or rough and hard. Tonight he can feel the heat radiate off of his husband and he knows that he’s going to be harsh. 

Luke’s guess is correct as Ashton pauses for a moment before thrusting deep and hard, not letting Luke have a moment to breathe, he relishes in the tiny squeaks of pleasure coming from the blonde below him as he continues moving, not letting up for a moment. The sweat starts to trickle down his forehead as he leans forward, grabbing Luke by the back of his neck, still not slowing for a second. Luke has taken it upon himself to lean down to stroke himself, letting them both get closer to their climax.

Not a moment later Ashton feels Luke clench around him and a high pitched whine leave his mouth, hands still bracing against the car. Ashton starts to get messy with his movements as he too feels his body start to fall over the edge, he lets the feeling wash over him, his body stilling against Luke, his breath laboured as he leans onto Luke’s back. 

He doesn’t let them bask in the afterglow for too long as Ashton can feel Luke start to squirm underneath him, so he stands up, pulling out slowly before pulling his jeans and boxers up. Luke stands up and does the same, both men fully clothed now standing in front of each other. 

Luke is the first to start giggling, hands coming up to wrap around Ashton’s waist, “That was so hot Ash.” 

Ashton kisses the top of Luke’s head, standing back to grab his hand, leading him back into the house. After retreating back into the warmth, they both decide a shower is best and after undressing and both relaxing under the strong stream of water, Luke whispers, “But my next idea will be better, just saying.” He winks, letting Ashton imagine all the things that both men will think up to try and beat the other.