#5sos fluff

the sheets move with calum as the sun outside cracks through the blinds, encouraging him to start his day. he certainly doesn’t want to, now that your asleep but his side.

it was a split decision, you staying with him last night. you were just supposed to drop off something he left at your apartment and ended up watching a movie. he loved that it was so easy with you around.

the bed creaks softly beneath him as his arms stretch out, careful not to wake you. calum rests his head on his pillow, watching your chest rise and fall with ease. you’re like a painting — full of life and color always.

you stir, almost like you know he’s looking at you, and once you’re almost conscious, calum pulls himself closer to you, “mornin’ gorgeous.”

he watches as sleep slowly departs from you, a smile starting to form and your eyes blinking slowly to see him.

oh, how he loves you so.

“g’morning.” a content hum passes you lips as you smile into his chest. your fingers trace over his tattoos like they always do, the small sensation making his heart thud against his chest.

he’s so comfortable, so warm that you could just…

“hey, don’t fall back asleep. you just woke up.” he teases.

you groan lightly, calum’s hands intertwining with yours. “anything planned for today handsome?”

“not with you like this,” he presses a small kiss to your forehead and you burrow your body closer to his. “comfortable?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

I wasn't picturing myself curled up in a ball on the steps of a stranger's apartment building, crying while I wait in the rain for my Uber to pick me up when I imagined Friday night.

Admittedly, it wasn't a shocking scenario to find myself in, but something about tonight felt different than all the other times I cried by myself after a fight with Calum. Tonight I felt totally defeated, with every limb crying for a break from the overexertion I practiced when I begged him to stop talking to other girls, to give me a miniscule atom of attention. He told me what he always does: mind your own business and stop being possessive. You sound crazy. You are crazy. Go home, you need to sleep this off.

You know, the usual laundry list of avoidant responses. I told him to go fuck himself and that we were done. I ran away before he could respond. I hid. I'm hiding right now.

Hiding in the rain on the fire escape, listening to the bass of the music playing on the other side of the wall. The side that Calum, who may or may not be trying to contact me, is on.

I fumble for the pack of cigarettes in my jacket pocket, sniffing through the tear-induced congestion. At least the landscape was no longer blurry. The city buzzes around me, proving the insignificance of my boyfriend- or ex, rather- problems. No one else's world is falling off its axis, only mine. It's fine.

I pull a cigarette from the pack, sighing forlornly and shrinking into my soggy denim jacket. Fuck. Where's my lighter? I pat my pockets, panic flaring in my chest. Oh, come on. This is the last thing I need.

"In need of assistance?"

I close my eyes. "Go away, Luke."

The newcomer ignores my demand and instead takes a stance next to me on the rusty stairs. Luke offers a lighter, his brows quirked inquisitively. Begrudgingly, I accept, holding my smoke out for him to light.

He clicks it on, sheltering it with a ringed hand. As soon as it catches, I take a deep drag.

"Thanks," I sigh, smoke filtering through the damp air like fog.

"You really should quit. It's bad for you."

"Says the guy who just lit one for me."

"Put on quite a show in there."

I scoff. "What do you want, Hemmings? An encore?"

A grin touches his peachy-pink lips. "Not really. Wanted to know if you wanted a ride home."

"I got an Uber. I'm fine. I'm done, though. In case you're reporting back to Calum after this."

"I'm not," he tucks his lighter back in his jacket, adjusting his stance to study me. "Cal's an idiot, you know. He's lucky you ever gave him the time of day."

Despite the desire to wallow, I feel a spark of amusement. "Yeah?"

Luke runs a hand through his sable curls, pondering his next statement. "I always wondered why the two of you kept running back to each other after everything."

I shrug, taking another little drag. "He's familiar. Comfortable. I got complacent and allowed him to get away with too much. But I'm done now. I need to figure out what to do next."

"Good thing you guys didn't move in together."

Fuck. "Yeah. The only smart thing I did."

"I... I'm here for you, you know?"

I screw my mascara-smudged eyes at him. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Cal fucked you over, you know? And besides, Audrey and I just broke up. So I kinda relate to your pain right now."

My phone pings. I glance down and see that my Uber canceled on me due to a car emergency. How convenient.

"Alright. My Uber just canceled. I'll go with you."

"So I'm taking you home?"

"Drive on, Hemmings."

Luke grins at me as he pulls me from my crumpled position on the ground. I look back once more in a last ditch to perhaps catch Calum's attention from outside.

Nothing but a closed door and muffled music.

---

"How much did you have to drink?" Luke asks as we wait in traffic.

I give him an offhand glance, my eyes raking over his painfully perfect exterior. Stupid Luke. He's always been pretty, and he always has a girlfriend, and he's got those pretty crystal blue eyes that penetrate my tough girl facade and sink deep into my lonely heart.

"I didn't drink." I huff, looking back out at the dreary city.

"Hmm," he hums, tapping the wheel thoughtfully, "Why'd you come tonight?"

"I knew he'd be there."

"...dancing with other girls."

"Yes, Luke, I know. I know what he's like. Obviously. I've put up with this for over a year now."

"What about tonight made it the breaking point?"

My brows wrinkle up in irritation, but he seems so genuine and gentle when he asks that I struggle to maintain indignation. "I... I don't know. I thought I looked... so pretty." My voice catches as I find my raindrop-smudged reflection in the sideview mirror. "And he didn't look at me until I yelled at him. Why doesn't he think I'm pretty?"

I hide my freshly reignited tears in my still-damp denim sleeve. Luke allows me to wallow in my silence for a moment, the only sounds infiltrating being the traffic and my sniffles.

"I don't know what to say," he sighs, "You deserve so much better. And, for the record, you are very beautiful."

I don't lift my head or even acknowledge him. He says nothing more.

The rest of the ride is agonizingly slow and painfully quiet. The rain gets worse. Thunder enters the stage, preceded by the volatile showstopper lightning. The sky is ominously dark, and I feel for a moment that maybe it's reflective of my own misery.

By the time we're at my apartment, it's a downpour. I don't think I've ever seen New York endure such frigid, flooding abuse.

"Come in with me," I say, "Don't drive home in this."

Luke squints back and forth between the road ahead and the trek to my place. He decides on the latter.

"Alright."

We make a sprint for it, and despite our valiant efforts, we still arrive at my front door looking like half-drowned rats. I giggle a little as we catch our breath under the shelter of the dirty building. He mirrors me, wiping excess precipitation from his stubbled chin.

"Come in with me," I say, "You can borrow some of my dry clothes."

"Alright."

Once inside, I make a beeline to the bathroom and grab us both some towels. Another giggle escapes me as I watch him towel his sodden curls.

"I can't believe we were out in the rain for less than 30 seconds and we're a mess like this."

Luke barely contains a grin. "Crazy work out there. You sure you're okay with me being here?"

I hesitate. Then I shrug a little. "I trust you."

His eyes shimmer with something I haven't the mental capacity to comprehend at the moment. I turn away before he sees the flush threatening to blaze across my cheeks.

After some excessive drying and a clothing swap (he borrows some of Calum's laundry I had cleaned), we get... cozier than someone who just publicly dumped her boyfriend ought to be, especially with his best friend.

He smells really nice, though, like leather and tobacco. I lay my head on his shoulder while we search for something good to watch. I feel like this happens more often than it should. Luke saving me from stressful situations, that is. Not us canoodling on my couch.

Though the latter scenario should happen more often.

"Luke?"

He glances down at me. "Hmm?"

"What happened to you and Audrey?"

He shrugs. "We just grew apart. Not meant to last."

"M'sorry."

"It's okay."

I pause. God, his cologne is genuinely intoxicating me right now. I take a shallow breath as I attempt to say something that doesn't sound like a woman out of her mind.

"You good?" Luke shifts so he can look me in the eye.

My throat closes up as his gaze slowly slides down, settling between my nose and my chin. His Adam's apple bobs apprehensively, the tension crackling like the lightning show outside.

"Luke..." I breathe, paralyzed.

"Yeah?" He murmurs, tongue wetting his lips anxiously.

"Could you..."

"Yeah," he finishes my statement with a forbidden kiss, his lips quivering as he pulls me close.

Melt is not quite right for what happens to me. Maybe he molds me. Maybe I'm just putty in his pretty hands that cup the back of my neck as he draws me into him. I taste wine on his tongue, and I'm sure he's stealing some second-hand smoke from the cigarette I had all but forgotten about.

I can't breathe, but it's not enough, and I need to breathe him in and eat him whole and drown in him forever.

"We need to stop," I gasp, "It's not- god," my head falls against the couch, "We're moving too fast."

"You're right," Luke detangles himself from me, "I'm sorry."

"No, no," I shake my head, keeping my distance, "That was- that was both of us."

A shake laugh escapes him. "Like horny fucking teenagers."

I snort, rubbing my forehead. "Such a mess. I- I'm gonna go to bed."

"Alright. Sleep well."

"You too. Let me know if you need anything."

"Night."

It was almost time for Luke and his band to perform, they had been entirely prepared and surpassed any qualms that threatened to delay their appearance on stage, however in the last moment, another problem appeared, leading Luke to sigh irritatedly. He was wearing a button up, the first one already undone, however it appeared that it didn't matter how much the quality of the satin fabric had cost, a couple of buttons in his midsection had escaped from the threads that held them in place.

The lead singer plucked the black pearls that closed his shirt up from the trodden ground, holding the minuscule clasps in his large hand. To say he was annoyed was an understatement; he didn't even have a backup outfit, he was set on wearing the exact apparel that he had on. "Fuck sake." His tone was bitter, it was as though something always had to go wrong at the last second.

It was just his luck, he thought. "Is something wrong Luke?" The voice cut through his distress as smooth as a knife, the soft sound relaxing the tall man slightly, as he looked to the side to see you - his assistant. He felt his lips incoherently move on their own accord as he fumbled to speak, miming through oxygen that flowed between you. "I- uh." He didn't want to rant to you about something so unimportant in the world, it would make him appear nonchalant to the real problems that tainted the earth.

He had the ability to purchase anything that he wished for due to the success of his music career, and thus he felt petty. "It's nothing." Luke shrugged off the grievance that had the strength to delay his entrance beneath the stage lights, there was no justice in getting worked up over something so minuscule. "Just.. my shirt broke." To emphasise his point in an embarrassed gesture, he braced his hands awkwardly on his hips and looked down at his torso.

A crease fell between your brows, and he felt like an absolute fool. There was a hue of red blossoming on his cheeks as he noticed your eyes scanning along his body, pinpointing the ajar fabric, your pupils staring sternly at his exposed skin. "I have just the thing." Your y/e/c eyes devotedly ogled up at him, glee glowing with an ambience from your eyes as a wide smile sprawled on your lips, leaving the curly haired blonde riddled in confusion.

For a moment you ignored your employer, shuffling with a purpose through your handbag that was slung across your shoulder, all knowing with what your search was for. A sound of diluted happiness prevailed from your throat as you plucked out a small and transparent case, where sewing needles and midnight coloured thread were stored. "Did you find the buttons?" It wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't, as you had a couple of spares loosely dancing around in your bag, however Luke held out his hand.

Luke felt sparks shoot through his body as you took the buttons, your fingers digging gently in the indent lines of his palm, grasping the black spheres and preparing your tools to reattach them. He could have sworn you were an angel sent from heaven to make every day that he spent with you significantly brighter; if there was ever a barricade to his intended path, you always had a solution.

You were always prepared, however in this moment you had to try with great difficulty to ignore the his soft abs from your focused sight. All you had to do was your job, which was to provide support and anything that Luke required, and so with your black reel of thread connected to the button, you grasped the opening of his shirt, knuckles brushing his tender muscles. The contact made him shakily inhale, his heart thumping vigorously within his chest.

He had never meant to form such an unprofessional crush on you, but it was impossible, sure when he interviewed you he couldn't ignore the physical attraction that he felt for you, though it didn't blind him to your listed criteria that was on your resume. "Thanks for this." He quietly spoke, but his words were as clear as day due to the proximity that you shared. One button down, one to go - you felt sufficiently accomplished, and you held the other one, determined to finish this fixing in time.

"It's my job." You responded nonchalantly, shrugging his appreciation off as to calm the butterflies that hurtled around in your stomach. "And it's no big deal Luke, it's an easy fix." Oh god, he could feel your breath hitting his chest where he had intentionally opened his shirt, and he could feel sweat brewing against his hairline. You were so focused, and he couldn't help but take in every detail of your face.

As you finished with putting the last button on, you placed the needle and thread back where they belonged, before you grasped the sides of his shirt, readying to put them through their designated loops. As you looked up, and he looked down upon you in his heeled boots, your nose almost touched his chin, and your eyes met in a staring embrace. "Hi." You muttered, hands still on his blouse.

"Hey." He replied, his lips pulling at the sides as his pupils enlarged in their surrounding blue pools. "How long do we have?" The musician enquired, knowing that you had a better sense for time management than he did. You glanced down at your watch, only briefly, and cocked your head. "Enough." You said, your body jumping a little as you felt his hands coil delicately around your hips.

The two of you leaned in, meeting in the middle in a collision of your lips, your hands tugging softly at his natural curls as you melted with satisfaction against one another. It was a slow exchange, full of passion and desire, and you wished it would last longer, however the alarm on your watch alerted you with a beckoning siren, causing you to defiantly pull away and huff lightly. "You have five minutes until you have to go on." You informed him, humming as Luke stroked your cheek.

He wanted nothing more than to lean in and get lost in you, to fall even further than he already had for you. But duty called, and he stood up straight, running his lips against one another as he vowed to never forget the first romantic moment that you shared. "I'll see you after?" Luke asked hopefully, his ocean eyes blazing with a new lease of motivation. Without a doubt you nodded, your hands ensuring that his shirt was done up and brushing down the smooth material to stroke out any creases.

so much hand holding he always wants to be touching you

big pet names user. always puts "my" in front of it. i know for a fact that his favorite pet name you use for him is pretty boy

dates to music/record stores

panting each others nails

he love love loves when you do his makeup. especially before shows!!! he would 100% brag about how much he loves it while he's on stage

an ungodly amount of songs written about you

power naps together on the couch in his studio

matching converse

dinners with the other guys and their partners

weekend coffee runs

brunch every sunday especially before he leaves for tour

so many dad selfies of him when he's on tour

would totally FaceTime you to show you something that reminded him of you

sends you a postcard from every city he preforms in

annotated book swap before tour so you guys have another thing to chat about during your nightly calls

constantly asking your opinions on lyrics or melodies

such a little spoon. loves how safe you make him feel and when you play with his hair or scratch his arms, back, etc

matching jewelry

random texts or calls just because he wants to talk to you

matching for every holiday-- halloween, christmas, etc

making playlists for each other

nsfw section under the pictures

oh my god he's a munch. if he's a bad day he's eating you out, but especially if you've had a bad day, within minutes of you being in the house he's between your legs

soft and slow make outs

bondage with silky ribbons

switch with a large pleasure/soft dom lean

edging!!! he loves hearing you whine and rut into him

marking!!! loves when your lips stick marks stain his face and neck, especially if it's before a show. doesn't mind putting some lipstick on and giving you them too.

constantly fucking you when you're wearing his clothes. it just turns him on so much knowing that you chose to put something of his on

such good aftercare omg

very very vocal-- always wants to know how good you're making him feel

loves blowjobs, but not just because his dick is in your mouth. he loves watching you work, the way you sit between his legs and look up at him and how your lips get all plump and messy. the way you react when his hips buck up into you or his grip tightening around your hair. he can't get enough of it-- he can't get enough of you

i don't think he would be into food play, but there was 100% a situation with some whipped cream

hair pulling

so so so much dirty talk

king of quickies

slight exhibitionist vibes-- eating you out in a friend's bathroom, fucking in the green room before a show. he just finds it thrilling that someone else could find out how good he makes you and only you feel

december had quickly approached by, which meant soon it would be everyone's favourite holiday: christmas.

this year, you had decided to tag along to a ski retreat with ashton, mali-koa, and your absolute favourite person in the world- calum hood.

you had first heard about this weekend trip on thanksgiving, when everyone had gathered round michael's to celebrate his newborns' first thanksgiving.

after your interest was peaked, you decided to ask if you could tag along, and ashton and mali jumped with joy accepting, whereas calum stayed stone-cold.

so nearly a month had passed, the car that was parked outside your house, honking impatiently.

"fuck" you muttered as you sat on your suitcase, hoping to press down some of the weight. your hands pulled at the zipper, you let out a sigh as you continued to tug on it.

"you're gonna break it" a deep, familiar voice says from behind you. you turn your head, meeting calum's soft eyes as he leant against the door frame with a cigarette in his hand.

"can you make yourself useful then, and help?" you sneer as you throw your hands up in the air. calum chuckles before he walks past you. his steps stop once he reaches your window. he takes his cigarette from between his lips and burns it out before tossing it outside.

"move" he nods his head to the side.

you sigh as you stand up from the suitcase, taking the same position on your bed.

your eyes observe calum as he kneels down beside your suitcase, "you sure there's nothing you can avoid taking?" he asks as you he lifts up the top of the case.

your eyes fall onto calum as he lingers a stare on your clothing that lay at the top; swimsuits and your underwear.

flustered, you reach over and shut the top of the case, "nope"

calum shakes his head before muttering something under his breath. he places a heavy hand on the top of the case, forcefully pushing down as his other hand found the zipper. in a swift movement, his hand pulls around the case, zipping it close.

"easy" calum retorts. he stands up and lifts the suitcase up onto its' wheels, "can we go now?" he asks, you nod before thanking him. the two of you make your way out of your house, and you lock it from the outside before catching up to calum.

he sets your suitcase in the trunk before the two of you take a seat in his car.

the journey to the resort was a quiet one. you tried lightening the mood by humming along to the radio, but once you saw calum giving you a glance, you settled your lips in between your lips, feeling embarrassed.

the only talking he did throughout the drive was when mali, his sister had rang him. letting him know that her and ashton had bought the food shop and had made it to the cabin you were all staying at.

what had felt like hours, the two of you had finally arrived.

"what took you guys so long?" mali exclaims, opening up the front door wide. "someone wanted starbucks" calum rolls his eyes before walking past his sister with both his and yours' suit cases in his hands.

"i got it for everyone!" you retort, setting the cup holder down on the table in the hallway before hugging mali.

ashton then comes running into the hug as he wraps his arms around you both.

"come on, cal" mali shouts over her brother. "no, thanks" he mutters. "calum thomas hood, if you don't get your ass over here right this second, i'll show everyone that picture of you dressed up as a bratz doll" mali rambles but as soon as she threatened calum he came jogging over beside you and ashton.

you turned your head slightly and held your arm out to calum. his eyes flicker between your arm and your eyes before letting out a sigh.

he moves his gaze over to his sister, giving her a death stare. his arm hovers over the small of your back whilst his other arm tightly wraps around ashton's shoulder.

the four of you stand there laughing before pulling away. "that was cute," mali giggles, picking up a cup of coffee from the table.

your move your eyes over to calum, "d'know what would be even cuter?" you ask him. "what?" he snaps back. "you dressed as a bratz doll" you giggle, taking small steps towards him.

you let your hand rise to his hair, your fingers combing his hair. he looks at you, embarrassed. his cheeks turning a deep red. once you realize what you were doing, you quickly retract your hand back, dropping it to your side.

"shit, sorry. i don't know what-" you began to ramble, "it's fine, " he huffs. you nod awkwardly before trying to change the conversation.

"so room situations?" you ask as you look over at mali. "there's three rooms" mali begins. "and only one master suite" she finishes as she nods her head over at calum.

"so?" calum asks, shrugging his shoulders. "you're gonna have to share, calum"

"fuck, no. you take the suite and share with her" calum shakes his head. "stop being difficult calum, besides i've unpacked my stuff already," mali exclaims. calum looks over at ashton, "c'mon mate" ashton speaks up. "i'm totally fine on the couch" you pipe up as you twiddle with the rings on your fingers.

"it's fine" calum says once again, "you're with me, i guess" he let's out a sigh as he grabs the suitcases, trekking them up the stairs. "come on, then"

"coming!" you hurry up the stairs, following him into the master suite.

"we should set some ground rules." calum starts. "good idea," you return. "you have that half of the room, and i'll get this half." calum points at the opposite side of the room, letting you know which side yours was.

"seriously?" you raise your eyebrows at him. he nods his head, shaking his head to the side. "calum, that's so stupid. we're not kids"

"fine, what rules did you have? he asks. "i dress here, you in the ensuite. i want the side of the bed closest to the window and no bringing anyone back here cause i don't want to walk in on anything that you're up to" you list.

"is that everything, princess?" he curtseys in front of you with a sarcastic tone, and his eyes stay glued to you as he does so.

you put up your middle finger, aiming it towards him, he simply rolls his eyes.

"we should unpack"

whilst the two of you were finishing up unpacking, mali called you both down for dinner.

the four of you sat around the fireplace, pizza boxes scattered around you all as you sat and watched 'gilmore girls', the boys complaining at every chance they had.

whilst absent-mindedly watching the tv, you reached for the last pizza slice in the box. once you had felt another's hand already on the slice, you jerked your hand away.

"take it," you look over at calum, who had now moved his hand away, nodding his head over at the slice.

"no it's fine, it's yours." you shake your head before letting your eyes fall on the tv again. "just take it, y/n," you hear him say, but you simply shake your head to the side, keeping your eyes on the tv.

calum sighs before picking up the slice, which you saw out of your peripheral eyesight.

seconds later, you see him open his palm out to you, "here, take it" he says. you look down at his palm the see that he had tore the pizza in half.

you hear ashton say something in the background which made calum roll his eyes, "take it y/n, i made it fair" he shrugs. you give him a nod before taking one of the halves out of his hand, "thanks cal"

after finishing up, the four of you decided to play some card games, which led to every game being won by mali.

"what can i say, i'm older so i'm wiser." she smiles proudly. the three of you chuckle at her as she takes a bow.

"well, tonight's been fun guys" you pipped up, standing up from the floor, which you were seated on.

"i'm gonna get some sleep for tomorrow" you say, "make sure you guys set your alarms" mali exclaims, "yes mom" you roll your eyes playfully at her.

"goodnight guys," you smile. "i'll be up soon" calum says. you give him a nod before making your way into your shared room.

you lock the bedroom door behind you before pulling out a pyjama set; an oversized black tee and some short, baggy, grey shorts.

you headed over to ensuite, pulling your hair up in a messy bun on the top of your head, strands falling onto your face, to help frame your face.

you then washed your face and patted it dry before beginning to brush your teeth.

as you brushed around the toothpaste in your mouth, you heard a lazy knock to the door. knowing it was calum, you headed to the door, unlocking it.

"hey" he says, dropping his phone on the bed. with you not being able to reply with the toothpaste in your mouth, you gave him a small wave before returning back to the ensuite.

you once again shut the door, thinking he would change into his pyjamas.

once you had finished brushing your teeth, you called out to calum, "can i come in, cal?" you ask.

"yep" you hear him say, with that you open the door to see him already laid in bed.

he pulls the covers over himself, but before he does so, you scan his body to see what he's wearing: a black tank top and grey joggers.

you walk around to your side of the bed, slipping under the covers.

you laid on your back as you stared at the ceiling. the room was dark, but with the small lights from the window coming in, you could see calum in the same position as you.

you felt your eyes becoming heavy as you closed them. you had felt like you were falling asleep until you heard your phone ringtone blare out. "shit, sorry," you apologise as you scramble out of the bed to grab your phone of the table.

you checked your phone to see crystal calling you, and you slipped out the room, shutting the door behind you. but you stayed in front of the door as you answered her call.

"y/n, how was the drive?" she asks, "mali mentioned you came with calum" you giggled at the thought of mali and crystal talking about you and calum.

"yes, we did. it made sense to just take one car" you whisper. "has calum made a move yet?" she squeals. you furrow your eyebrows, "what'd you mean, made a move, crys?" you ask.

"what do you mean, what do i mean? this is so obvious y/n, " she starts, "everyone knows about you and calum, " she ends. "babe, there is no me and calum, i'm pretty sure he hates me," you pipe up. you hear crystal cracking up on the other side of the phone. "y/n, surely you've noticed how he acts around you"

"like friends?" you question. "ask mali, she'll back me up" crystal says.

you try ending the conversation as soon as you can, wanting to not talk about this topic. and you definitely weren't going to ask mali either about her thoughts. that would be embarrassing.

after ending the call, you made your way back into the bedroom, tiptoeing back to your side the bed. just in case calum had fell asleep.

you slip under the covers, placing your back against the mattress again. "was it crys?" calum asks. you look over at him and watch his biceps flex as he tucks his hands behind his head.

you hum in response, "is she okay?" his voice laced with concern. "she's all good cal, baby and mike too," you answer, and you feel his head nod.

"goodnight y/n"

"goodght cal"

it was now the next day, you had woken up to bright flash to your eyes.

you stirred in a warm embrace, nuzzling your head into the pillow.

"look how cute" mali's voice is heard in the room. you blinked open your eyes as you took in your surroundings.

shit! your hand was hung loosely around calum's bicep, your calf slightly tangled with his leg, and your head was nuzzled in his neck.

you brushed yourself off of him, causing him to stir, "what's happening?" calum asks, his voice hoarse and croaky.

"nothing!" you say quickly. a bit too quickly.

mali giggles before turning her phone around, showing you both the picture she had taken, you noticed calum had his head on yours, one hand still behind his head whilst his other laid dangerously low on your back.

you felt your cheeks growing red as you turned away from them both. calum clears his throat before sitting up on the bed.

"me and ashton are heading to the slopes, you guys woke up late so we'll meet you there" mali informs the both of you, you give her a nod before you watch her leave.

"i'm sorry" he apologizes. you shake your head as you look at him, "no that was on me, i was on your side of the bed, shit i'm sorry" you ramble.

calum follows suit and shakes his head, "it's not that deep, right?" he asks. "of course, not" you faked a smile before excusing yourself to the ensuite.

maybe everything crystal had said to you yesterday was getting in your head, making you unconsciously act out.

you tried brushing off the feelings, but you couldn't. you started replaying times when you and calum were together and the little things he used to do. you always thought he hated you, but maybe he didn't?

"you nearly done in there?" you hear calum ask from the other side. "just a few minutes" you call out. you snap out of your thoughts and start brushing your teeth before washing your face.

you walk back into the room, beelining straight to the wardrobe. as your hands were occupied with finding an outfit, your eyes sneakily fell on calum before he entered the ensuite, locking the door.

"fuck" you muttered, letting out a heavy breath that you didn't notice you were holding in.

once you had found an outfit suitable to the cold, you applied some light makeup: blush, mascara, and lip balm.

you then called out to calum, letting him know you'd be waiting for him downstairs. whilst making your way downstairs, you pulled your phone out of your jacket pocket, dialling crystal's number.

she answered after the first dial, "i need your help, i'm going crazy. like i don't want to be dealing with these feelings right now crys, i don't know what the fuck is happening to me. one minute, i think he's a jerk, and then the more i start thinking about him, i get butterflies in my stomach, and they hurt crys, it fucking hurts" you rambled over the phone, not even allowing her a moment to speak.

"say something," finally reaching downstairs, you take a seat on the couch, awaiting for a response. "are you okay?" your eyes widened when you recognized the voice over the phone as not crystal's.

"perfectly fine, mike." your cheeks turning into a deep rep shade, "where's crys?" you ask, a nervous laugh coming following suit.

"she's out with sierra, she left her phone at home," michael says. "oh okay, well, no need to let her know i called, but i should be going now," you try to hurry the conversation to an end.

"okay, no worries" he says, "y/n?" he says quickly after. "are you sure you're okay?" he asks. you let out a little sigh, "i'll be fine"

"ready to go?" calum says running down the stairs, he stands at the end of the stair, looking over at you. you give him a nod, "one sec" you mouth to him.

"i have to get going, mike. i'll see you soon. " you finish off the call after hearing michael saying his goodbyes.

"is he okay?" calum asks you, as he watches you now walking over. he give him a nod. "we should probably get going, it's like a twenty minute walk" calum informs you.

"can't we take your car?" you ask, frowning your lips. "we can't, there's no cars allowed up there" he says. "but we can take a cable car?"

the two of you stood in line for one of the cable cars. it wasn't busy, so you both managed to get a cable car for the both of you.

you both sat on opposite sides to each other. looking down, you watched as the cable car left the tunnel, your eyes widening at the extreme height.

"is this a bad time to say i'm terrified of heights?" your eyes find calum's soothing brown ones as you nervously place your bottom lip in between your lips.

"just don't look down, okay," his voice soothing, he leans forward slightly, watching as you twist the rings on your fingers. you nod your head at the advice.

but you felt your chest becoming too hurt as you exhaled heavier breaths. "hey, you're gonna be okay" he quickly rushes over to your side, sitting beside you. "sit back" he says and so you do.

he let's one of his hands cup your cheeks, "just look at me, focus on my breathing, okay?" and so you start following his breathing pattern. once you had calmed down, you realized calum's thumb rubbing circles on your cheeks.

you looked up at him before glancing at his hand that was still on your cheek. he quickly let go, clearing his throat, to help fill the silence.

"we're here" he spoke in monotone, whilst looking out the glass.

he stands up, waiting for the doors to open, you follow behind him as he walks out.

the exit tunnel was extremely overcrowded, which hinted at the fact that the slopes would be busy.

"c'mere" calum says, reaching out for you hand, pulling you against his chest as he lead you both out of the exit tunnel.

your body melted against him, his chest pressing into your back, making you weak in your knees. his hands settled on your waist as he guided you.

once the two of you had finally left the tunnel, you were both met with the brightest snow on the slopes.

"let's go look for the others," calum says as he pulls himself away from you. your lips turned into a small frown at the loss of warmth. not wanting him to see you, you quickly plastered a smile on your lips before giving him a nod.

after minutes of searching, the two of you had regrouped with mali and ashton. the four of you decided to have some hot chocolates from one of the pop-ups. so whilst ashton and calum went to go buy them, you and mali sat at a table.

you noticed mali giving you a wide grin, "what?" you giggled. "nothing," you could tell she was lying, so you simply just raised an eyebrow up at her.

"it's just you and calum -" she starts, but you quickly stop her. "i feel awkward talking to you about this. he's your brother." you shake your head.

she opens her mouth to start speaking again but gets interrupted by ashton and calum, placing the hot chocolates down on the table.

calum takes a seat beside you whilst ashton sits besides mali.

the four of you make mindless conversations whilst sipping on your hot chocolates.

after what was around an hour, ahston and mali decided the wanted to ski down the slopes.

"you guys wanna join?" ashton asks. "you guys go ahead, i'll watch you three," calum gives you a quick glance, "i'll stay with you" he says before finishing off his drink. "we'll find something else to do," he says.

you quickly shake your head, "no cal, you should go, i don't want you to miss out" you argue. "no, i don't even want to ski, we'll go find something else, okay?" he asks. "are you sure?" you ask him and he responds with a nod.

"we'll see you guys later then" ashton says. "let us know if you end up going back to the cabin" mali says before running off to catch up with ashton.

"so what'd you wanna do?" you ask calum.

"sleigh ride?" he raises his eyebrow whilst asking you. "that's sounds perfect!" you squeal.

so the two of you make your way over to the sleigh carriages, taking a seat in an unoccupied one.

the two of you sit back whilst you watch the reindeers start to take small steps forward.

"so, have you always been scared of heights?"

you turn your head to look at calum, "not always, but as i got older, i guess i got sacred of the lack of stability and control" you say, "sorry that was a bit deep" you giggle. calum gives you a smile in return.

as the forty minute sleigh ride went on, the more the two of you talked, on a personal and connected level.

ashton and mali had also made their way back up to you guys.

"it was honestly so fun!" you exclaim as you tell ashton and mali about the sleigh ride. you notice calum's lips turning into a smile as he watched you ramble about how good the sleigh ride was.

"cal" mali exclaims, trying to regain calum back in from his daydreaming. calum replies with a hum. "what did we always do up here when we were younger?" she smiles as she jumps up and down on the spot.

calum rolled his eyes playfully, "snow angels" he chuckles. "come on, everyone!" she announces as she falls back onto the snow, letting her arms and legs push around the snow as she flaps them in the snow.

the three of you follow suit as now the four of you create snow angels.

once the shape was imprinted in the snow, mali and ashton rose back to their feet, and you once again followed shortly behind them. "need a hand," you giggle as you watch calum, struggling to get up.

he hums as he reaches for your hand. before you know it, you feel him tug on your hand, making you fall forward and on top of him.

your face inches apart as your hands now lay on his hard chest. you look up to his eyes as he looks down at yours. he places his hand on the low of your back.

"hey" he smiles. "hi" you smile back. "y-y/n" he whispered, and you hummed in response.

"get a room!" ashton chuckles. you notice calum bite his cheek before opening his mouth again, "you're on me," he says. "oh, yeah, shit, sorry," you rambled as you quickly found your stance back onto your feet, brushing of the snow that was on your clothes.

"what the-" you begin to say as you feel something being thrown at you. you turn around to see mali throwing snow balls at you. you giggled before bending down to create a ball of snow in your hands.

you stood back up and threw it on her back.

"snowball fight!" ashton called out.

and there, the four of you were throwing snowballs at each other.

after throwing multiple at ashton and mali, you decide to throw some at calum. so you had two snowballs in your hand, about to throw them in calum's direction, but before you could, you felt a heavy weight being thrown to your head, making you trip over your feet.

"fuck! are you okay?" you hear calum say, panic in his voice, as he rushes over to your side.

you brought your hand to your head as you rubbed it. "it's hurts" you winced. "i'm so sorry" he repeats as he brings his hand over yours, rubbing the place he had hit you with the snowball.

he then moved my hand from it, letting his lips leave a small kiss on the area. "i should take her back" calum says as he helps you up on your feet. you shake your head, "i'll be fine"

despite saying you were fine, calum still made you go back to the cabin with him. you told mali and ashton to stay out still and to still keep having fun.

the journey back to the cabin was pretty much quiet except when you were back in the cable car, you felt your head starting to pound so you winced from the pain and calum had asked you if you were okay.

once you had gotten back, you went straight into the bedroom and got changed, calum doing the same in the bathroom.

you were sat in the bed as you massaged the side of your head.

"how're you feeling?" calum asks as he enters back into the room, this time with a tracksuit on.

"i'll be fine, calum," you shake your head as you look up at him. you watched as he walked over to your side of the bed, kneeling down in front of you.

he didn't say anything, just simply looked up at you as his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb creating shapes on your cheek.

"you confuse me" you scoff as you catch his eyes with yours.

"what do you mean?" he asks as he rises from his knees.

"i thought we were getting along on this trip, cal. i thought you were lossening up around me. i thought you had dropped your jerk act, but as soon as you do, you put it back on again. why? why won't you let in?" you let your hand intertwine with his, tugging on it, making him take a seat beside you on the bed. which he did.

"how long have we known each other for, y/n?" calum ask, you furrow your eyebrows, "eight years"

"eight years, it's been y/n" he starts. "eight years of me being completely and utterly infatuated with you. eight years of me wanting you for myself, eight years of having you consume my every thought. eight years of knowing i couldn't be with you because i don't deserve you, eight years' worth of songs that were written about you because i couldn't bring myself to tell you how i'd felt"

whilst he was expressing his feelings, you noticed at some point he had reached for you hands, he was looking down at them, twiddling with them.

"i thought if i could try distance myself away from you by acting the way i have, it would hurt less but fuck it hasn't" he sighs.

he looks up into your eyes, "can i be selfish for a second?" he asks as his eyes flicker to your lips.

you nod as you watch him lean into your lips, placing a delicate kiss on them.

he moves his hands, so he's cupping your cheeks, "i've wanted to do that for so long"

"i wish you told me" you shake your head. "i'm sorry y/n about everything," he says as he rests his forehead against mine.

"it took you eight years calum" you begin, "let's not make its nine, okay?" you nod before letting your lips catch his.

a/n: i wanted to extend this, but i didn't want this to be too long, so it'll be either be a part two to this or i might change it a little bit to be its own work to be different but regardless it'll be the next post.

also this took me forever to writeee :'(