I thought for my 500th post on this blog, I’d do something self-indulgent and write down my thoughts about the parallels and contrasts of these two scenes, even though so much has already been said about them. Strap in, it’s long.
The parallels and contrasts between Zuko being reunited with Ozai and Iroh abound.
The lead up already, as he feels conflicted both on the boat back to the Fire Nation and when he decides to find Iroh. I’ve written about the parallels of the scenes with Mai and Katara before the actual reunification scenes.
1. The anticipation. Zuko seems apprehensive / afraid both times.
With Ozai his fear is clearly stated; his father won’t take him back because he didn’t capture the Avatar. He didn’t meet the conditions to his acceptance.
With Iroh; I’ve read some metas that Zuko is afraid that Iroh would hurt him the way Ozai did. I don’t think so. While Zuko is deeply traumatized, he knows Iroh too well, who never raised a hand to him no matter how rude, insolent, disobedient he was. It’s not how Iroh rolls. But I think Zuko is afraid that Iroh would not want to do anything with him anymore after the betrayal. And ironically, Zuko only realized what Iroh was to him (his “real father”), once they were ripped apart. So he’s afraid that he threw away the love and approval of the person who matters to him more than anyone.
It’s also interesting that returning “home” in the case of Ozai means the Fire Nation palace (the place that ceased to be home on the day Ursa left and Ozai became Fire Lord), but in the case of Iroh, means Ba Sing Se; the place where for a little while, Zuko and Iroh lived like a normal family, and for a brief moment seemed happier than they have ever been. It’s Iroh’s place of destiny, the place of his biggest failure and greatest self-sacrifice, the biggest loss and the promise of peace and a new beginning.
With Ozai, Zuko has to wait for an invitation, in contrast Iroh’s door is always open to him.
2. The setting.
Ozai greets Zuko in his throne room. The formality is suffocating. The physical distance is enormous between them, Ozai is on the elevation to symbolize the power imbalance. They are divided by fire (their relationship is forged by the destructive side of fire). Zuko is foremost a subject of the Fire Lord, a tool to his will and only secondly Ozai’s son.
With Iroh, Zuko is on his knees as well, but not because he has to, only because he chooses to. Iroh is close, there are no defenses around him, he doesn’t try to intimidate with his power. The situation is achingly familiar, a throwback to the informality of their relationship. The scene is not lit by fire, but by the rising sun and the warm light of a lantern (their relationship is characterized by the nurturing, protective side of fire).
3. The first words
It’s Ozai who speaks first. “You have been away for a long time. I see the weight of your travels has changed you. You have redeemed yourself my son. Welcome home.” Zuko’s feelings or experience don’t matter, only Ozai’s perception of it. It is only important that he behaved the way Ozai expects him. Ozai grants Zuko his redemption, it doesn’t matter whether he actually feels redeemed. Interestingly, it’s the first time we hear Ozai call Zuko “his son”. In the Agni kai, he calls him “Prince Zuko” and when he orders Azula to bring him back, he calls him “your brother”. Even though he walks towards Zuko, he stays towering over him and doesn’t touch him. Zuko may be his son in words, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it.
By contrast, Iroh's first words are silence and for a moment it looks like Zuko’s worst fears have come true; Iroh hates him and doesn’t want him there. But actually, Iroh listens - like he always has. He reached out to Zuko from the prison even, but now it’s Zuko’s turn. And Zuko’s heartfelt apology highlights so well the depth of their relationship and the mutuality of their bond.
“Uncle, I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me. But I want you to know, I'm so so sorry, Uncle. I'm so sorry and ashamed of what I did. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you but I'll...”
It matters what Zuko feels (he’s sorry and he’s ashamed), but it also matters to Zuko how Iroh feels and whether there is a chance to fix their relationship. Iroh listens quietly, and he doesn’t interrupt Zuko with words, but with a hug, completely at the level of Zuko, showing him with action that he is loved, wanted, forgiven.
And he interrupts him before Zuko has a chance to vow to do whatever grueling task Iroh has for him to earn the forgiveness. His love is unconditional. Zuko doesn’t need to capture the Avatar to be taken back.
4. The Forgiveness
This is my favourite bit, and one that doesn’t get nearly as much attention as the other parallels.
Ozai explains as he circles around the still kneeling Zuko his reasons:
Ozai: I am proud of you, Prince Zuko. I am proud because your sister conquered Ba Sing Se. I am proud because, when your loyalty was tested by your treacherous uncle, you did the right thing, and captured the traitor. And I am proudest of all of your most legendary accomplishment. You slayed the Avatar.
That’s super interesting. What is Ozai exactly proud of?
-Azula conquering Ba Sing Se (the first thing he mentions isn’t about Zuko, but something Azula who always comes first in Ozai’s book did that Iroh failed to do)
- Zuko turning against Iroh. (The single thing Zuko feels the worst about. And for Ozai, again ,this isn’t about Zuko, it’s about Zuko choosing Ozai over Iroh, it’s about proving that fear is more reliable than love, it’s one more way Ozai is beating Iroh. Familiar? Self-worth based on being “better than”?)
- You killed the Avatar (The third thing is a blatant lie, something Zuko didn’t do - but is he willing to to earn Ozai’s acceptance?)
Now let’s compare it with the dialogue with what Iroh says:
Zuko: How can you forgive me so easily? I thought you would be furious with me. Iroh: I was never angry with you. I was sad because I was afraid you lost your way.
These are Iroh’s first words. “I was never angry with you.” For Iroh, it is not about himself. Nor about Ozai or Azula. It’s about Zuko and his love for him. He doesn’t expect Zuko to carry out any agenda for him. He doesn’t want to make him the poster boy of the White Lotus. All he wants for Zuko is to find his way. His own path to redemption and happiness. Iroh doesn’t own Zuko, he’s not a tool. He doesn’t pretend he can give Zuko his redemption or honor. Zuko is his own man and he has to decide what he wants for himself in life and Iroh, like a good father, steps back and hopes that all he taught the boy will help him become who he is meant to be.
5. The resolution
Now the ending.
For the first time, Zuko speaks to Ozai.
Zuko: What did you hear? Ozai: Azula told me everything. She said she was amazed and impressed with your power and ferocity at the moment of truth.
Again. Ozai is not interested in Zuko’s version of the story. Azula (better than Zuko) vouched for him - the forgiveness is built on a lie and not only on Ozai’s whim, but Azula’s as well. The attributes expected of him are power and ferocity. Aggression. Proving that he’s cruel enough to belong to this family.
Zuko closes his eyes, clearly left in a really bad place, conflicted, tormented by doubt and fear that his acceptance home is conditional on being his absolute worst self. There is no feeling of catharsis after three years of suffering and doing his best, there is no love and he doesn’t feel honorable.
Even though he’s home, it feels like he is surrounded by people who can and will destroy him when it suits them.
(And in light of this meeting, his actions in The Headband become more understandable [even if still ooc] - he unleashes his rage on Iroh and hires an assassin. Because what did Ozai say? It’s about Iroh’s supposed treachery and killing the Avatar. All that suffering, all the exile becomes useless if Zuko can’t make the lie true somehow.)
With Iroh though, there is catharsis - Zuko is crying from both eyes for the first time since he was burnt. His own tears are the spirit water that can heal his scar. His feelings are laid out all raw, and Iroh reciprocates with the same honesty.
Zuko: I did lose my way.
Iroh: But you found it again. And you did it by yourself. And I am so happy you found your way here.
Zuko: It wasn't that hard, Uncle. You have a pretty strong scent.
Iroh can’t give redemption or honour to Zuko (he can only do that by himself), but he can give him something even more powerful: love and acceptance. All his scars and mistakes and stumbling on his path included. Iroh loves him for who he is and supports him on his path. But it’s Zuko’s path.
Finally, Zuko is home - because home is not a place. It’s not a fancy palace, not even a favourite summer house. It’s a place where people who love and accept each other come together, wherever in the world they pitched their tent.
