#34nishimura

Boy aesthetics 1/? Shigeru. Aries.

Nishimura/Shigeru- he cried on the train. It was just little tears in the corner of his eyes. You think it’s hard to get a man to cry but to get a Japanese man to cry is like, a whole new level. He was an Aries. I met him in December, and the first day I liked his pic he messaged me, we went out and he was straight to the point. At that time he was the hottest most Japanese-salaryman like guy I’d been with. He was the second I’d /been/ with. He was excitable, immature (despite him being the oldest I’ve been with in Japan- 48-49), loud, complementary, and just a lecherous old man but gosh, entertaining him was great. He was just so happy about everything. And it was uplifting, as I too needed cheering up. His skin was dark, his eyes bright. He wore a business suit with no socks. His hair was always slicked to the side and on our last date he wore glasses. They were adorable. He was from Kyushu, he drank whisky and beer, he claimed I was the first foreigner he’d befriended. I kinda believed him. The first time I went out with him we got really really really drunk (my first hangover) and we swayed and sang Bon Jovi in the alleyway. It was dumb but a good memory. He was my least fav but I appreciated him immensely for who he was. In his brashness, drunkenness, and loudness. I hope he has a good life. I hope he takes good care of himself and his loved ones. I hope they too can learn to love him for who he is. All he wanted was to be wanted. But don’t we all?

Like today, I gave up. I was like, it's okay. I won't suffer anymore. He's a lovely being, a good boy. I want him to stay that way. In that place of purity and life. I set him free in a way. The best I could. I felt pretty good too. And I went most of the day without hearing from him. I went to go on my date with Nishimura walked straight past the shop on my way to the bus. Saw Co.'s car paid it no mind, didn't even go in, didn't even care enough to, I had let him go after all. And I went on my way. I went on my date and afterwards I awoke from my afterwards nap to find a message from non-other. You see, I had told him a few days ago I didn't have money for a taxi when I would return this day and asked if he could drive me home. And he said he'd be asleep and work ended too early. (He turns down almost everything I ask to do with him-but he always has a completely legit reason and usually follows up on the thing asking how it was if I went etc) So anyways I see his name and He's like, you home? And I tell him no. He asks where I am and I say still at the hotel. He askes how I'll get home and I say I'll walk. And he's like drunk? And I'm like yeah. And then e does this thing that he /always/ does that like kills me. He talks around the tbing. But today he went straight for the other side of things, he asked about the guy, how many dates I've had in Japan etc. I tell him. He tells me he's not surprised as I have a sort of good charm for men like that. And he finally asks the question I've wanted him to, egged him to for months. "What kind of guys do you like" and with complete and utter satisfaction in my drunken stupor I whip out, "you're the one I like." And he's like."wot" and I'm like, yeah, no matter who I'm with, no matter where I go, I'm thinking of you. You're my favourite" and he's like, you're kidding right? No way it's me. I look like dad? Why would you like me. And I'm like boi (and I tell him some of the reasons I can explain in simple drunken Japanese text, his smile, his voice, he's nice, etc) and he's moves back to, what train stop you at? I'll pick you up from the station. And I'm like BOI. My friend is already coming to walk me home. And he's like I'll pick her up too. And I'm like No! I can walk! And he's like, I'm in the car I'm coming now. And so he was. And he came. My beautiful bow legged middle aged Chinese man. Light of my life, fire in my loins. He comes and like rushes to clean out his car and throw it all in the trunk. His skinny lil legs in his blue lounge pants and his lightweight ultramarine shirt. His car smelled like him. Just a simple human smell. Of cloth and warm skin and left over hair gel and leather from the seats. His mood was good but he was quiet. We picked up my friend and delivered us home. S/o to her for being the best wife I could ask for 😭😭😭 she walked to come walk me back 😭😭 We laughed some bc his driving about killed us twice. His laugh was full and hearty. I love it when he really laughs. I love him. Ahhh. I swear there's like a switch on him. Like the universe tells me when I have given up, or don't care so much anymore about him and it's like NO. YOU MUST CARE DONT STOP. And I'm like, please, you gotta. FREE ME. But with no avail. If you're not gonna let me give up I best get a kiss from him. He was ASLEEP. And he woke UP. TALKED TO ME. DEALT WITH ME SAYING I WAS LIKE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND /STILL/ immediately came and picked me up. WHAT DOES THAT SAY?! HUH?!??!!!??!!!!! I can't believe it. I can't believe he got out of bed and came to my aid. Even tho I didn't really need it. I can't believe it.