#34gold

Gold- my beautiful sweet flower boy. A gentle giant, standing at 6'2" and thick and soft. A libra, Korean, and only knew how to speak informal Japanese but could speak almost perfect English. His voice was high and so so soft. His hands completely engulfed mine, and honestly we were probably super cute together. Him being over a foot taller than me and all. He was a scientist, and was constantly run into the dirt by the fact that A) he was overworked at his job B) he was very tall and wide in a place full of smaller people and C) he was a Korean in Japan. And he looked Korean too. He wasn't one of those that could be Japanese but you weren't sure. No. You knew. And the second he opened his mouth to speak Japanese, you knew for sure. And that is a whole kind of Hell in intsself. Life beat him constantly. And it showed. We started talking, messaging almost everyday from September. We finally met up in February. He was humble to the point of self deprivation, and sugary sweet. We had yakiniku. His only proud point, that he could do yakiniku, that it runs in his Korean blood. And he was right. A born pro at grilling meat, I always under cook mine. We did super cute things and he always let me take pictures of him. He would pose next to sights for me, or take pictures of flowers in the trees that were too tall for me to reach. He'd always hold my hand and despite his height, his arms were the perfect length for mine to not get tired of it. When I did bed him I saw he was literally covered in scars. His back, his arms, his stomach, legs, chest. I know he had fulfilled his required military service, but if that was the cause I do not know. I do not ask, as the present moment is many times more important than fretting about the past. Despite the fact the was so humble, so soft, so quiet, he was /incredible/ in bed. The best. Hands down. Boy knew what's up and what to do. He was the definition of soft sweet boy who's hardcore in bed. You'd've never known. He snored like no other though and slept with the lights on. But I mean, I can sleep anywhere and through anything so I wasn't bothered too much. xD Beyond that he was a quality person as well. Thoughtful, methodical, attentive, incredibly intelligent, and handsome. If I could know the people that have harmed him, and beat him down to make him so sad, I would literally destroy them. How dare they hurt my sweet boy. How dare they lay their hands upon his back, speak their insults to be heard from his ears and use their racist biases against him. Like any country, Japan (though I love it here and want to live here) has its faults and is not paradise. Through his depression, and through all that push him down, he still carries on. Slowly, softly, gently. But carries on, with a continuing soft humming power source running in the background. You don't have to be powerful to be great. The world may beat you down, but you are special and beautiful in your own way. Even if it is that low humming power that keeps you moving Day to day, if you're still going that's what matters. The suffering isn't forever. Someday you will be free, whether it's by your circumstances or your mindset. My dear sweet flower boy. Someday you will be free.