#2sb1sf

Still, Hashirama had encouraged the ninja of Konoha to take part in the holiday.  Madara believed this was mostly because he wanted to receive chocolates from Mito (and his secretary, and his assistant, and basically every kunoichi under village employ), but that was neither here nor there.  Madara couldn’t care less about what Hashirama and Mito did in their relationship (he would rather be completely ignorant of the entire affair, to be honest.  Hashirama was loud). 

What Madara did care about was Kakashi, and how this stupid holiday might affect their relationship.

The women were supposed to make the chocolate for the men.  This already was not a very inclusive holiday.  Knowing that neither would receive a gift on this ridiculous Valentine’s Day (and who or what in the blazes was this Valentine?) Madara took it upon himself to be the gift giver.  It made sense to him; men were supposed to receive gifts of chocolate, so he would make Kakashi some chocolates.

Madara did not acknowledge to himself that he was hoping Kakashi would get him something too.

So Madara did what he always did when he had a seemingly unsolveable problem.

He went to Izuna.

Only, Izuna was in an uncharacteristically foul mood.

“Who even cares about this stupid civilian holiday?!” Izuna exclaimed when Madara posed his query.  Izuna looked a mess; his hair was loose and starting to frizz, appearing more like Madara’s own messy locks.  Izuna had been destroying innocent training posts out on the Uchiha’s private training grounds when Madara found him.

Madara couldn’t help but smirk at the scene.  It took a lot to get Izuna riled up, unless you found the right buttons.  Madara knew of two very sensitive buttons which never failed to get Izuna in a rut.  It appeared that at least one of them had been pushed.

“Just because you’re worried about whether you’re going to get anything from—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Izuna interrupted, venom dripping from his words.

Madara’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  This was more serious than he had thought.

“Perhaps I’ll just ask Tatsumi for help.”

Izuna scoffed, muttering “Whatever,” before going back to destroying the field with vigour.

Madara, very smartly, decided retreat was his smartest option.

  Luckily, he found Tatsumi in her kitchen making chocolates with her niece, Michika.

“Well well,” Madara said as he took in the scene.  There were blocks of dark chocolate on the counter, an open jar of coco powder (which seemed to be accidentally coating the countertop as well), and a large pot of heavy cream warming on the stove. A stack of metal bowls was set off to the side. Michika was carefully cutting the chocolate into small pieces while Tatsumi was stirring butter into the cream.  “I can’t believe my eyes.”

“Oh shut it, Dara-chan,” Tatsumi said, without taking her eyes off the stove.  The same stove Kakashi had modified to light itself several years ago, near the beginning of their friendship.  Madara stifled down the urge to yell at Tatsumi for using that dreaded nickname in the face of what he would have to ask.

“Who are you making chocolates for, sweet imouto?”  Madara’s tone was mocking, though he was genuinely curious.

“I’m making the chocolates.  Ba-sensei is just helping,” Michika piped up.

Madara’s eyes widened in confusion.  “You?  Aren’t you too young for such things?  And why isn’t your mo—” Madara was cut off by a wooden spoon flying at his head.  He managed to catch it, though just barely.  The warning glare he caught in Tatsumi’s eyes at almost mentioning MIchika’s mother made Madara realise that changing the subject was a smart idea.

“I didn’t realise you were a chocolatier,” he went with instead, smartly returning the spoon to his cousin.

“It doesn’t take a genius to follow a recipe,” Tatsumi said with a pointed look, one that reminded Madara of exploding stoves and burned down kitchens.  The flush that bloomed on his cheeks was from the heat of the kitchen, not embarrassment.  No, Madara was never embarrassed.

“So, why are you here?”

That was the question, wasn’t it?

This time, Madara could not deny the deepening flush on his cheeks was from embarrassment (even though he never got embarrassed, of course).  He had hoped to catch Tatsumi alone, but he could see that would not be happening for a long time.

“IwanttomakeKakashichocolatesforValentine’sDay,” Madara said in a rush.

Thankfully, Tatsumi was either in a good mood, or she was too busy focusing to make him repeat himself.

Instead, she just laughed.

“Awww, Dara-chan is so cute, isn’t he, Michika?”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you, Dara-ji!”

“YOU GOT HER SAYING IT TOO?”

“You can blame Kakashi for that, actually.”

“That bastard!”  Madara scowled.

“Still want to make him chocolates?”  Tatsumi teased, smirking at him over her shoulder.

Madara crossed his arms and pouted.  His family was terrible and Kakashi was somehow the worst of the bunch.

The thought of Kakashi as family, however, filled him with warmth.  Of course he still wanted to make Kakashi chocolates.  Madara nodded confidently.

“Well in that case, you have a problem.”

“What?”

“Did you forget that Kakashi doesn’t like sweets?”

“Fu—”

Madara never got a chance to finish that thought, as the wooden spoon came flying at him again.  He caught it once more, and warily gave it back to Tatsumi.  When she noticed his downtrodden expression, she sighed, putting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll figure something out.”

Across the village, Kakashi was doing what he always did when Hashirama got over excited about something.

Kakashi was hiding with Tobirama in one of Tobirama’s hidden labs.  Well, hidden from Hashirama, anyways.

Usually, Tobirama was good company.  He was quiet and thoughtful, but mostly quiet.  When Tobirama was working on one of his projects, it was impossible to engage him in anything but.  He might mutter to himself from time to time, but Kakashi actually found that comforting.  It was less lonely. 

Kakashi enjoyed hiding in Tobirama’s lab, reading Icha Icha, or even just dozing lightly, Tobirama’s puttering and muttering serving as a reminder that he wasn’t alone.  Kakashi even enjoyed discussing Tobirama’s theories on occasion.  Trying to figure out how to make a jutsu work, or how to perfect one that already existed had become a pastime Kakashi grew to enjoy.  It was a measure of peace he had not felt back in his own time, not since he lost his father.

But Tobirama’s presence was decidedly not comforting today.

While Tobirama could be calm and quiet and thoughtful, he also had a nasty temper.  Although Tobirama was much harder to rile up than Madara, when the right button was pushed, Tobirama could be a right brat.  And by the way Tobirama was stomping around his lab, flitting from experiment to experiment unable to concentrate, Kakashi was pretty sure something had managed to catch Tobirama’s ire.

But Kakashi did not spend too much time worrying about what had Tobirama all riled up.  Kakashi had his own problem, one he never thought he would have.

Should he make Madara Valentine’s Day chocolates?

This wasn’t Kakashi’s first Valentine’s Day.  He had endured plenty in the past… err, future.  He wasn’t sure what it was about him that made so many his classmates admire him, and had always ended up spending the day avoiding his potential paramours.  Just the scent of chocolate was enough to make him disappear, regardless of the day.  He even used to skip training with his team on Valentine’s Day; it left him too exposed, and Minato used to make him accept the gifts.  Then he would have to go around on White Day to return the gesture (though he always made sure to buy the cheapest, most terrible of the gifts to deter any interest.  It didn’t help).

Even after his sensei had died, Kakashi made a habit of hiding away on the fourteenth of February, partially out of habit, but also because it brought up too many bad memories.  He didn’t have a teammate to bring him a gift, or a sensei to make him accept it.  He had always wanted to be left alone on that day, but the price he paid for such a wish was too high.

Just another example of how badly Kakashi had managed to fuck up his own life.

This year was different.  Kakashi hadn’t thought it was possible, but he had a family.  He had two brothers and a sort of sister, he had friends he treasured and could rely on, and he was…

He was in love.

Kakashi hadn’t thought it was possible for him to fall in love, partially because he knew he didn’t deserve it, but mostly because he had never been interested in someone like that before.  For all the people who had confessed to him, Kakashi had never even remotely felt a connection in return.  No matter how beautiful or handsome, how caring or kind, how skilled or impressive, Kakashi had never felt romantic or even sexual attraction.

It wasn’t that he never felt arousal—Icha Icha and many nights with his hands (and sometimes a clone or two) was proof enough.  It wasn’t that he didn’t desire that sort of closeness when he wasn’t lying to or hating himself—Icha Icha had proven that too.  But there just wasn’t anyone Kakashi had felt that way for. 

When his father died, Kakashi closed off his heart.  While the time with his genin team had eventually helped, their deaths, one after another, proved the change was too little too late.  While Tenzou and Itachi had begun to become his new family, he was pulled into the past and lost that too.  It seemed as if every time Kakashi got close to someone, they would inevitably be taken away.

Until now.

Kakashi had spent more years in the past with his new family than he had spent with any of the others.  He used to wish that he would be sent back to the future, but now he prayed he could stay.  It was that fear of leaving that had made him resistant to Madara’s pursuit initially, but as the years passed and so did the actual past (Kakashi was no history buff, but he knew enough about the Warring States and Founders Era to know that his presence and interference had made major changes to the history of the Shinobi Nations) Kakashi’s attitude had changed.

Kakashi had grown and changed, and dare he think it, healed in his time in the past.  Kakashi hadn’t thought he would find happiness, hadn’t thought he deserved happiness, but that all had changed with his new family beating the self-loathing out of him.  Not that Kakashi didn’t still hate himself to an extent—he didn’t think he would ever be able to forgive himself for some things—but the weight of his failures was easier to carry.  A lot of that had to do with his new brothers, but Madara had also played a huge part.  Kakashi could not begin to express how grateful he was to have them all in his life, but he wanted to try.

Which brought him to his current issue.

Kakashi wasn’t sure what the protocol was for Valentine’s Day when the two who were in a relationship were both men.  He also wasn’t sure whether he should be making chocolates for his new family, considering that wasn’t part of the tradition.  The women in his life were supposed to give him something, and then he would have to return their gifts on White Day.  But Kakashi did not feel like that was enough.  Plus, that excluded his brothers from the exchange, which left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Least of his issues was the fact that Kakashi had never made chocolates before.  Any idiot could follow a recipe…

Well, except Madara.

Kakashi chuckled at the memory of Madara’s kitchen on fire, the first time he had tried to make Kakashi dinner.  And every other time he tried cooking since.

(It was universally agreed upon that Madara was no longer allowed to have a stove in his house.  Izuna had to visit Tatsumi if he wanted to cook, not that Izuna minded).

The sound of Kakashi’s amusement, however, caught Tobirama’s attention, and not in a good way.

“What in the blazes are you laughing at!”

Kakashi, who had forgotten about Tobirama and his uncharacteristic agitation, jumped at the sudden break of his reverie. 

Tobirama’s pale skin was flushed a bright red from his anger, making the stripes on his cheeks practially disappear.  His eyes narrowed to slits in the glare he usually reserved for Madara or Izuna.  Kakashi had never had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that look, nor had Hashirama, despite how idiotic he could be.  Tobirama usually glared at them with a sort of resigned fondness, despite whatever they had done to upset him.  For Tobirama to be this wound up, it had to be something serious.

“Maa-maa, Tobi-nii is so mad today…”

Tobirama would never admit to rolling his eyes at the nickname Kakashi had adapted from Hashirama, as such an act was ‘below’ him.  Tobirama really had far too much in common with the two Uchiha he harboured an exceptional hatred for.

“I am not mad!”

The venom with which his words were delivered proved otherwise.

Kakashi sighed, putting his book away.  While years ago (or years to come, really) Kakashi would have vanished at the first sight of someone in the throes of emotional turmoil, he was different now.  Instead of avoiding emotional confrontations, Kakashi now tried—albeit awkwardly—to help.

“Perhaps you are worrying whether a certain someone is going to give you chocolates tomorrow?”

The heavy scroll thrown at his head proved, once again, that Kakashi was not very good at being comforting.  At least he was quick enough to catch the projectile.

“Or maybe you’re worried someone else—”

This scroll was somehow larger and heavier, and the force of the throw pushed Kakashi back when he caught it.

“Does that mean you don’t want to talk about it?”

This time Tobirama leveled him with the Glare of Exasperated Affection.  Perhaps Kakashi wasn’t so horrible at comforting people after all.

Who was he kidding?  This was a job for Hashirama.

Tobirama sighed, brushing a hand through his uncharacteristically tousled hair.  “Go make Madara some damn chocolates and leave me alone.”

Well, that at least answered that question.

“I’ll tell Hashirama where to find you—”

“DON’T YOU DARE, OTOUTO!”

Kakashi could not help his laughter as he left, even as various brushes, an ink stone, and several more scrolls followed in his wake.

Madara did not sleep a wink that night.  He was too worried over whether or not Kakashi would enjoy the gift he had spent the entire afternoon and part of the evening making.

Okay, so he watched Tatsumi make it, as he was hopeless when it came to cooking.  But he did help chop things, and pass her bowls and spoons and ingredients, which was as good as it was going to get when it came to Madara managing to cook anything.

It didn’t help that he could hear Izuna pacing up and down the hallways all night, still too agitated to sit, let alone lie down and fall asleep.

Valentine’s Day was a bad idea—one of Hashirama’s many terrible ideas.

Still, Madara was excited.

There was something about a day dedicated to expressing your love for someone that had Madara’s heart filling with warmth.  Sure, he was dedicated to spending everyday loving Kakashi as it was, but taking the time to explicitly focus on it had the romantic in Madara preening.

It did not stop the nerves, however.

Kakashi had always been flighty, and it took years of chasing before he would stop for a short chat, let alone entertain the idea of dating Madara.  While that flightiness had decreased significantly over the years, and even more so after they started dating, there were still things that would send Kakashi running.

Kakashi had problems with both emotional and physical intimacy; when faced with either, Kakashi's knee-jerk response was to disappear in a puff of smoke.  The first few times that happened after they had gotten together, Madara feared he had lost Kakashi for good.  Each time Kakashi returned—an apology delivered in a small gift, or a sweet kiss, or (Madara’s favourite) a story about Kakashi’s history—Madara felt more confidant in their relationship. 

But each new thing filled Madara with anxiety.  The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Kakashi, but there were just so many things that did—things that wouldn’t hurt someone with a normal past—and Madara often found himself accidentally pressing on old wounds.

Each step closer seemed to require breaking down another barrier, and that tended to hurt the both of them.  While they did end up closer in the end, Madara wished that they didn’t need to fight and hurt and bleed for every step forward.

When dawn broke, Madara was gone, his carefully wrapped gift in hand.  The plain, circular box was covered in a red, silk handkerchief, patterned with small Uchiha fans.  Madara hid the gift in the hip pouch Kakashi had gifted him for his last birthday.

In order to avoid any awkwardness, Madara decided he would deliver the gift to Kakashi’s room and run.  Not the bravest course of action, but Madara consoled himself with the thought that it was actually something very ‘Kakashi.’  This way, Kakashi could open the gift privately, and choose whether or not he wanted to acknowledge Madara’s efforts, and how he wanted to react.

Madara was very proud of this plan.  While he had no doubt that Kakashi would awaken at the intrusion to his bedroom, Kakashi was known to feign sleep to avoid situations—just as he often feigned ignorance or inattention when he wasn’t sure how to deal with things.  Madara was counting on this habit for things to go smoothly.

All in all, Madara thought it would be the best way to deliver the gift, especially when considering Kakashi’s comfort and tendency to avoid emotional intimacy, even now.  When Kakashi had given Madara his birthday gift, it was delivered through the post, despite the fact that they lived less than five minutes away from each other, if one took to the rooftops. 

Madara was not dropping off the gift and running because he was afraid of watching Kakashi’s reaction.  No, not at all.

Unfortunately, Madara’s plan was foiled when he got to the home Kakashi shared with Tobirama (the duo had moved out after Hashirama married Mito.  Hashirama was Loud).  How could such a simple plan fail, you ask?  Because Kakashi wasn’t there.  Instead, when Madara landed on Kakashi’s windowsill, he was greeted by the shoji screen to Kakashi’s room slamming open and the irate face of one Senju Tobirama.

“What do you think you’re doing here, Madara?” Tobirama practically spat, his glare at full throttle.

Madara was taken aback; Tobirama usually ignored him, or affected a purposely indifferent façade in his presence now a days.  It was only Izuna who would automatically raise Tobirama’s hackles, at least in recent months.  While Tobirama and Madara were far from being friends, they managed to get along well enough for missions and during council meetings.  Tobirama hadn’t reacted too violently towards Madara since they stopped meeting each other on opposite sides of the battlefield.

Furthermore, Madara was being stealthy and quiet, as to give the impression that he was doing his best not to awaken Kakashi.  So for Tobirama to have sensed him so quickly, he must have actively been infusing his charka.  In other words…

“Were you hoping for someone else?”  Madara did not even try to hide his smirk.

Tobirama’s glare grew even more venomous, if that were at all possible.

Madara chuckled.  “You’re looking very sour today… perhaps you were hoping for a certain someone to stop by with something sweet?”

Even Madara could admit the pun was in bad taste, which is why he stopped himself from laughing when he saw how much angrier that last comment made Tobirama. 

Tobirama took a visible breath to calm himself before deigning to reply.

“Kakashi isn’t here.”

“So I noticed.”

When Madara did not make to leave, Tobirama got even angrier.

“Leave.”

Madara bit back the “Or what?” on his tongue.  He and Tobirama might have a mutual distaste for one another, but Madara was not so cruel as to taunt Tobirama when he was obviously upset (not anymore, at least).  Still, as he turned to leave, he couldn’t help himself from offering one last comment.

“Should I send Hashirama over to cheer you up?”

The kunai Tobirama threw managed to trim a small section of Madara’s hair.  Luckily, Madara’s hair was so messy, the difference wouldn’t be noticeable.

With Kakashi not at home, and Madara banned from leaving his gift there by an irate, kunai-wielding older brother, he had no choice but to find his lover and deliver the gift in person. 

While it used to be nigh impossible to track Kakashi down, over the years Madara had learnt of every nook and cranny Kakashi liked to hide in.  It was astonishing to learn just how many secret places Kakashi had found to disappear to in the newly formed Konoha.  It was as if Kakashi had lived there all his life, and had years to find the most beautiful or most private places (oftentimes, both) to relax. Madara attributed this to Kakashi’s excellent tracking abilities—another talent added to a never-ending list of things Madara loved about him.

Though there were many places Kakashi liked to hide, Madara had learnt not just of their locations, but where Kakashi liked to go during various times of day, or in different moods.  Madara was proud to boast that he was the best at finding Kakashi—well, if you excluded Tobirama and his chakra sensing ability.  Or the Inuzuka, when Kakashi wasn’t suppressing his scent.  Or—

That wasn’t the point.

The point was that Madara very quickly found Kakashi sitting in his favourite morning spot; up on the mountain cradling the rear of the village, next to the Hokage Monument.

Strangely, Kakashi always sat on a space about two and a half giant heads to the right of Hashirama’s stone face.  There was a small nook roughly parallel with the bottom of Hashirama’s stone mouth that Kakashi could often be found reading in.  It was only big enough for one adult male and maybe a child to fit in.  But Kakashi was thin despite his height and Madara—though not one for cuddling—didn’t mind sharing his space if it was with Kakashi.

While usually Madara would make his way down to that nook and crowd Kakashi (not that Kakashi ever complained—seriously, anyways) today he was hesitant.  There would be no pretenses to hide behind, just a simple gift and the proclamation of love.  While that shouldn’t be such a big deal, Madara couldn’t help but worry that he would mess things up and ruin what should be a joyful day.

Madara stood above Kakashi’s nook, frozen in an uncertainty he only ever felt concerning Kakashi.  He knew that Kakashi knew he was here; while Kakashi wasn’t a chakra sensor, Madara was often surprised by just strong Kakashi’s sense of smell was.  Which meant the longer he waited, the more he would seem like a fool.  It was that thought which got Madara moving.

When he did climb down, however, he was surprised to see that Kakashi was not there.  In his place, however, was a square box covered in a two-toned silk cloth—the outside being grey with red swirls, while the inside was the inverse.  Madara found himself blushing at the implications of the red and black wrapping.  While Madara had gone neutral by wrapping his gift in his clan colours, Kakashi’s sent a very deliberate message—I want you.

Madara sat down in the crevice slowly before reaching down to pick up the gift with both hands.  He let the gift rest in his lap, then carefully undid the knot which kept the wrapping together.  As the fabric slipped away, he was met with a simple, brown dessert box.  He lifted the lid and was greeted by the sight of…

“Sushi?”

There were nine maki rolls in a three by three grid.  Only instead of fish, each was filled with fruit and chocolate.  Carefully lifting one roll from the box, Madara noticed that seaweed which would usually encircle the rolls was chocolate, with a dusting of coco powder on the outside, presumably to stop them from sticking to each other.  When he popped the maki roll in his mouth, Madara hummed his appreciation, enjoying how the bitterness of the dark chocolate paired with the sweetness of the fruit—a mango, in this case—and how the sweetened rice melded everything together.

Kakashi was one hell of a chef.

But more than the deliciousness of the gift, Madara was flattered by the effort.  Kakashi knew inarizushi was his favourite food, and was touched that Kakashi would base his gift off of that information.  Madara took a moment to enjoy another two before closing the box, carefully folding the silk and putting it away in his hip pouch.

“Kakashi, I know you’re there,” Madara spoke to the ether, willing his lover to appear so that he could thank Kakashi properly.

There was only silence.

“Kakashi?” Madara tried again.  Kakashi enjoyed teasing, and Madara wouldn’t put it past him to be hiding somewhere, watching everything and waiting until Madara was fuming to come down.  Kakashi did so enjoy riling Madara up.

“You’re going to make me chase you around all day, aren’t you?”

Little did Madara know, somewhere above him a Kakashi-bunshin smirked before dispelling himself.

It was going to be a long day.

It had been such an impossibly long day.

Kakashi was nowhere to be found, although he was leaving a suspicious trail of chocolates in his wake.  Not only were there more of the chocolate maki rolls in all of Kakashi’s favourite hiding places, everyone who had seen Kakashi that day was gifted with a small box of chocolates themselves—though the number of people who had seen him was small.

It seemed that Kakashi had first stopped by Tatsumi’s clinic.  He had gone there under the pretense of picking up his own Valentine’s gift.  Tatsumi had given him a chocolate Sharingan to ‘complete the set,’ she explained, laughing at her own joke a little too hard and a little too long—even in her retelling of the events.  When he shunshin-ed away (since he could not leave like a normal person), a small box of chocolates was left in his wake, with a card reading “I had extra.”

When Madara asked about his own gift, Tatsumi claimed that helping him make Kakashi’s gift was her present to Madara.  He couldn’t argue with that, though he was disappointed she didn’t save any of the chocolates she was making with Michika for him.  They had smelled delicious, and there were a lot. 

How many homemade chocolates did one little girl need?  Madara made a note to look into his niece’s possible love life.  She might be in her teens, but she was too young to date.  Madara would make sure to enforce that.

As it turned out, Kakashi’s next stop was to see Izuna.  Kakashi’s excuse was that he had heard Izuna was in poor spirits.  Izuna of course denied this, and they ended up in a bit of a scuffle.  The fight ended quickly, although not without one casualty; Tajima’s favourite mug was broken.  Kakashi had disappeared before the mug could hit him, leaving another box of chocolates behind.  This too had a note, reading “In case you don’t get any.”

While Madara had assumed the note would have left Izuna in a rotten mood the rest of the day, he was surprisingly chipper when Madara stopped by.  Izuna was carefully gluing the mug back together, occasionally sending an adoring glance and a dopey grin to a box of chocolate truffles on the counter, which Izuna absolutely refused to let Madara touch.  In fact, Izuna became positively beastly when Madara even got close to the gift.  Not wanting to ruin his brother’s good mood, Madara decided to leave swiftly.

Madara was quickly becoming frustrated.  He didn’t want to admit it, but he needed help.  There was one person in the village who could find Kakashi in an instant, but Madara was not yet desperate enough for that measure.  Still, his only other option was Hashirama, and, well, Hashirama was loud.  It was sure to be a… vocal Valentine’s Day for the Hokage, and Madara, quite frankly, was not eager to risk it.  Still, Tobirama had tried to kill him that morning, and Madara had a suspicion that Tobirama’s day was not liable to improve.

So Madara had gone to see Hashirama.

Hashirama was in the Hokage’s office (thank the Sage) alone (thank all the gods) and stuck under a pile of chocolates.  Hashirama’s smile was ever wider than usual.  A new person had been stopping by his office every few minutes to deliver him another gift of chocolates, and he was ecstatic.

“You do realise you will need to buy them all gifts on White Day, and therefore will need to remember all their names,” Madara reminded when he saw the pile of empty chocolate boxes carelessly thrown in the direction of the small garbage (it was already overfilled).  The reminder sent Hashirama into one of his depressive fits, prompting a very reluctant, irate, and somewhat flustered Madara to help him make a list of who sent what.  

Madara insisted Hashirama be the one to dig through the trash, however, volunteering himself to be the one to jot down the names and the item.

“Did you get anything for Valentine’s Day?” Hashirama asked, tone a little too casual.  Hashirama was horrible at subtly.

“No one has given me any gifts.”  Madara’s words weren’t true in the spirit of honesty, but they were not a lie.  Kakashi hadn’t technically given Madara the gifts, despite putting them in places Madara would find them.

Hashirama opened his mouth to say something, but held himself back.

They sat in silence for a moment, Madara’s eyes scanning the various gift boxes to see if he could spot one similar to the boxes Kakashi had gifted Izuna and Tatsumi.  He noticed the familiar packaging near the bottom of Hashirama’s trash bin, meaning either Kakashi had gotten to the office first, or Hashirama had chosen to eat Kakashi’s gift right away.

Finally, Madara gathered the courage to ask the question he had come to Hashirama for.

“Have you seen Kakashi today?” Madara affected complete, detached nonchalant.  He was not blushing, not at all.  His friends and close family knew of his relationship with Kakashi, and even if they didn’t, it was completely ordinary for a friend to ask about a friend.  On any other day, it would sound like any other offhand question.  Today, on a day meant for romance, however, it sounded anything but.

Hashirama leaned forward, a comical leer on his face.  “Did you make him any chocolates?”

Madara turned as red as his Sharingan.  “I—wha—you—nuh—” Madara sputtered.  “I’m not allowed near a stove, how would I make him any chocolates?”

“Hmm… there weren’t any reports of exploding kitchens today or yesterday…”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!”

Hashirama raised his eyebrows.

“Okay it was three times, but I do remember you being there for the third one, so that wasn’t just my fault.”

“I was trying to teach you how to use the stove!  You’re the one who used the Katon jutsu that made it explode in the first place!”

“You said it was just like cooking over a fire!”

“Yes, cooking over a fire, not that it was the same as lighting one!”

“You’re a terrible teacher, for not making that clear!”

Thankfully, the door opened and their argument was interrupted before Hashirama could start moping again.

“Mito, my love!” Hashirama rushed up from the floor to embrace his wife, picking her up and spinning them both in a circle.  She smiled fondly at him and his antics.  “Are you here to give me another present?”

“You’re so greedy,” Madara murmured to himself, though by the half-smile Mito shot in his direction, he was sure she heard.  Hashirama remained oblivious.

“I actually came here to see Madara,” Mito said, motioning for Hashirama to put her down, ignoring his pout when she stepped out of his arms.  She pulled a small box from the sleeve of her white kimono.  It was wrapped in a plain pink cloth, and she offered it to him with two hands, a smile, and a soft “Happy Valentine’s Day, Madara.”

Madara returned the smile with a small nod of acknowledgement, taking the gift in both hands before putting it away in his hip pouch to open later.

“I’m surprised to see you without Kakashi today,” Mito said, her voice managing to convey the authentic nonchalance which Hashirama had a problem with.  Still, considering the day and the gift she had just given Madara, the effect was lost.

“He’s looking for him!” Hashirama piped in before Madara could offer a more aloof response, one which would not end with his ears turning red.

“Oh?  I just saw him, with Tobirama.”

“With Tobirama?”  Madara did not even try to hide the sneer at the name.  “How can anyone stand to be near him?”

“Now Madara, that’s not fair.  I really wish you two would try to get along,” Hashirama said.

Madara huffed, crossing his arms.  “I saw him this morning, and he’s somehow grumpier than his usual unpleasant self.  I was being perfectly courteous, and he tried to kill me.  I’d wager even you avoided him yesterday.  And it’s all thanks to your insistence on participating in this ridiculous holiday.”

Hashirama looked sheepish.  “I thought it would help…”

“Tobirama seemed perfectly content when I saw him,” Mito said.

“What?”

“Really?”

“In fact, I might even go so far as to say he was chipper,” she continued.

“What.”  Madara didn’t even try to make it sound like a question this time.

“Yes!  I knew it would work!” Hashirama said as he jumped and pumped his fist in victory.

Madara—accustomed to Hashirama’s antics—crossed his arms and shook his head in the negative.  “That’s impossible.”

“What?  Tobi can be happy!” Hashirama insisted with a pout.

“While I do maintain my stance that Tobirama is an automaton who can only experience a limited range of emotion—”

“Madara!”

“I just saw Izuna, who was—oh no.”

“Oh no what?”  Hashirama looked positively bewildered, but Mito seemed to catch on quickly.

“Oh no,” Mito echoed.

“Oh no what?” Hashirama repeated, and then it clicked.  “Oh no, no no no!”

Mito and Madara nodded solemnly.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“I told you this civilian holiday was a bad idea.”

“But-but love and chocolates and love!”  Hashirama’s head sunk under the weight of his sadness.

Mito shook her head in exasperation, putting a soothing hand on her husband’s bicep. 

“You can’t fix everything, Hashi.”

Hashirama turned and swept his wife into his arms, holding her to his chest like one would a teddy bear.  His head rested on her shoulder, and she very patiently pet his hair.  She locked eyes with Madara and motioned with a quick jerk of her head that he should leave.  Madara—who very much wanted to get away from the emotional Hashirama—wasted no time in disappearing.

While Madara was reluctant to go visit Tobirama—more so after the alarming news—if that’s where Kakashi was, that’s where Madara would go. 

There was only one place Tobirama would be found at this time of day, and that was in his office at the Senju clan compound.  Tobirama had several offices, just as he had several labs, each with its own specific purpose.  Madara didn’t understand why Tobirama just didn’t do all his work in the same place; while Madara did have a home office for more personal matters, his office at the Hokage Tower was more than enough to complete his various responsibilities.  Tobirama, on the other hand, moved from office to office throughout the day, occasionally disappearing into one of his labs or the training field.

When Madara arrived at Tobirama’s office, he was dismayed to see just how smug Tobirama appeared.  There was even a little smirk curling the corners of his lips.  There was a box of chocolate truffles proudly displayed in the middle of his desk, though they were very obviously not for guest consumption if the glare Tobirama served Madara when he looked at them was any indication.  There was a second, smaller box of chocolates on Tobirama’s desk as well, the same size and shape as the ones Kakashi had been leaving in his wake.

Tobirama’s smirk widened when he caught Madara looking at that box.

“Kakashi isn’t here.”  Tobirama’s deep voice was almost teasing, though his words were certainly intended to be mocking.  Tobirama would only sound like that if he were in a really good mood.

Madara heaved a sigh, palming his face in his hand.  While he was wary as to the cause of Tobirama’s levity, he was also somewhat grateful; Tobirama would hopefully be more cooperative.

“I can see that.”  Madara could not let the subtle taunt go without a touch of his own.  “Would you happen to know where he went?”

Tobirama leaned back in his chair, looking even smugger than he had before.

Perhaps this was a bad idea?

There was a tense silence while Tobirama seemed to appraise Madara’s request.  The only sound in the room was the repetitive drumming of Tobirama’s fingers on his desk.  Then Tobirama closed his eyes, and Madara felt the hairs on his arms stand on edge.

“He’s by the Hokage Monument,” Tobirama answered simply, and then returned to his paperwork.

To say Madara was surprised would be an understatement.  Not that Kakashi had returned to the Hokage Monument—that sounded exactly like something that troll would pull—but that Tobirama had answered without a fuss.

This Tobirama was a strange creature.  Madara was not looking forward to the eventual blowout.

Up in his favourite nook, roughly two giant stone heads to the right of Hashirama’s face and just about parallel with Hashirama’s mouth, Kakashi reclined comfortably, reading Icha Icha.  He felt Tobirama’s chakra touch his—something Kakashi was only capable of noticing from how familiar he was with Tobirama’s chakra and the frequency with which Tobirama used this technique to identify him—which was the signal that Madara would be stopping by shortly.  Kakashi briefly wondered if he should disappear and make Madara chase him around a little more—it was one of Kakashi’s favourite pass times—but Kakashi was excited to see his lover.

Today was such a change from who Kakashi was before he ended up in the past, and he revelled in it.  If Gai could see Kakashi now, he would be sobbing and making long-winded speeches about the Springtime of Youth and the Lotus of Love Blooming once more, even after Enduring the Harshest of Winters. 

For once, the thought of his past didn’t drive Kakashi to melancholy.  While he did miss his friends and comrades—and Kakashi would have been the most surprised if someone were to tell him he would one day miss his Eternal Rival, of all people—Kakashi knew instinctively that they would be happy for his happiness.

Kakashi hoped that the changes he made in the past would shape a better future, one where children weren’t sent to fight wars and his friends all survived to live long, happy lives.  Though the semantics were confusing—if he changed to future too much, would he even be born?  If the future was different, would he even be sent to the past to propagate such a change?—Kakashi tried not to think too much about such things.  Tobirama might lose sleep over the mechanics, but Kakashi had to stop thinking about it in order to actually live.

And Kakashi was so terribly reluctant to leave the life he was now living.  For years he had felt as if he were only going through the motions, that his life meant nothing compared to his duty to the village he loved.  Ironically, it was through being a part of the group who founded his village that Kakashi learnt how important life was.  The village was formed to save lives, to protect children and each other—whether from enemy blades, or less sinister things, like famine and pestilence.  Kakashi had learnt that his job as a Konoha shinobi was not to die for his village, but to live for it, for his friends and his family, and even the strangers who walked the streets had sworn to protect.

Today had really emphasized to Kakashi just how many people he now had in his life whom he loved, and who loved him back.  While one could argue that it was important to show your love for others everyday—and it was, Kakashi had learnt—having a day where the focus was expressing that love warmed his heart in a way had not expected, nor had he ever experienced before. 

While it was still hard for him to openly express his feelings—if he had to physically hand his gifts to anyone he might have melted from embarrassment—Kakashi had felt that, at least for once, he should try.  He didn’t think his gratefulness to his new family could ever properly be expressed, and even if it were possible, he didn’t think he could possibly express it.  But he had enjoyed trying, even as embarrassed as it made him.

Kakashi both dreaded and anticipated Madara’s arrival in equal parts.  Though he did want to spend some time with Madara—it was rare that they were both allowed to escape their responsibilities for so long, even if they had only really skipped out on their morning—he was also terribly embarrassed at having shown his affection in such an obvious way.  He felt a bit like the protagonist in an Icha Icha novel, which meant his afternoon would be ending with sweet kisses and sweaty skin and—

“YOU!” Madara bellowed as soon as he exited his shunshin.  His finger was pointing accusingly at Kakashi from above, where Madara was using his chakra to stick himself to the mountain’s surface.

Before Kakashi could even think to reply, Madara dropped from his perch, twisting himself in the air so that he landed on Kakashi’s lap.  Icha Icha fell from his hand at the contact, but Madara was kind enough to grab his lover’s favourite piece of ‘literature’ and pocket it in his hip pouch.

Kakashi, ever hip and too cool, pointed a finger at himself, offering a casual, “Me?”

Madara’s eyes narrowed.  In one smooth motion, Madara pulled Kakashi’s mask down and slotted their lips together in an angry kiss.  Kakashi was frozen for a moment, before he pushed into the kiss, matching Madara’s fervor.  Madara’s hands—one at the nape of Kakashi’s neck while the other rested on his cheek—pushed and pulled Kakashi’s face just the way he wanted him as they continued to kiss.  Kakashi’s own hands pulled at Madara’s hair and snuck under his clothes, eager to feel his lover’s skin.

Madara broke the kiss, grabbing Kakashi’s hands and pinning them on either side of his head.  Though Madara knew Kakashi knew hundreds of different ways of escaping, the fact that Kakashi was letting him hold him down was always arousing.  Both men were breathing heavily, Madara’s hair falling over his shoulders and shielding them both from the midday sun.  Kakashi could not stop the self-satisfied smile that stretched across his face at seeing just how riled up he managed to make Madara with just a few chocolates.

“Oh, did you want something?”

This time Kakashi was ready for Madara’s kiss, already leaning forward despite his arms being restrained.  Kakashi enjoyed the frantic pace Madara set, as if he could not get enough fast enough.  When Kakashi pulled back to break the kiss, Madara followed, chasing Kakashi’s lips until his head was pressed back against the stone.

Kakashi very deliberately pressed his hips up into Madara’s, causing Madara to stutter.  He took the opportunity to dominate the kiss, sneaking one hand from its captivity to cradle Madara’s cheek.

“You.  Bastard,” Madara murmured between kisses. “Making me.  Chase you.  All.  Damn.  Day.”  Madara grabbed Kakashi’s free hand once more, returning it to the wall before leaning back just enough to look at Kakashi’s smiling face.

“That was your choice—”

Madara cut Kakashi off with another kiss.

“—to waste your time—“

And another kiss.

“—looking for—”

And another.

“me.”

Though Madara was glaring down at his troll of a lover, he felt his heart warm at seeing Kakashi so carefree and happy.

“If I let you go, will you try to leave?” Madara had to ask.  Kakashi had disappeared on him too many times to count.  While that number decreased after they got together, Madara had learnt that it was a game Kakashi liked to play.  It was equal parts endearing and aggravating.

“Hmm,” Kakashi pretended to think, “I like where I am right now, thanks.”

Madara’s glare morphed into a soft smile in the face of Kakashi’s purposely aloof answer, seeing it for the declaration it really was.  Kakashi’s expression mirrored Madara’s unconsciously.

Madara dipped down for another kiss, this one slower and softer, before pulling back, sitting upright on Kakashi’s lap.  Kakashi stared up at him in confusion as Madara reached into his hip pouch for something.  Kakashi’s gaze zeroed in on the circular box covered in red silk patterned with Uchiha fans Madara was holding in front of him with both hands.

When Kakashi looked up to Madara’s face, he noticed a faint pink blush staining Madara’s cheeks.  The longer Kakashi sat there just staring, the redder Madara seemed to get.  It was only when Madara’s embarrassment began to bleed into anger (as it always did) that Kakashi deigned to speak.

“That’s a nice box.”

By the tick in Madara’s forehead, Kakashi was sure Madara was about to start yelling.  Kakashi let his amusement squash down the memories of the last time his genin team was all together and a nervous Rin handed him a present.  He took the gift in both hands and felt more than saw how Madara first sagged in relief and then stiffened from nervousness—not that Madara would ever admit to either.

The knot holding the fabric together was easy enough to untie.  Kakashi let the cloth fall to his lap, then lifted the lid off the plain box.  Inside was a pile of oddly shaped chocolates.

“They’re chocolate covered almonds,” Madara rushed to say.  “It’s dark chocolate, and there’s only a thin layer of chocolate over the almonds.  They’re not very sweet, honestly they practically taste like plain almonds, you almost don’t even notice the chocolate—”

This time it was Kakashi’s turn to silence Madara with a kiss.  Where Madara’s kisses had been forceful and demanding, Kakashi’s kiss was soft and slow.  Each press of their lips, each swipe of their tongues felt like an instant and an eternity all at once.  Madara sunk into the kiss, his hands reaching up to cradle Kakashi’s face and stroke his cheeks.  He pressed Kakashi back into the stone of the mountain, being mindful of the gift which prevented him from lying flush against Kakashi’s chest.

While both felt lust stirring in their guts, there was something intimate and heartwarming in their kisses that stopped either from moving to escalate their embrace.  After chasing Kakashi around the village all morning, Madara was just happy to have Kakashi in his arms.  It was a relief to feel Kakashi’s skin against his hands, or Kakashi’s breath exhaled against his cheeks.  Madara enjoyed the taste of Kakashi’s lips, taking the time to slowly and completely explore every crevice of his mouth.  Madara wanted to float in this moment forever.

They would get about five beautiful minutes by themselves before the holiday would blow up in everyone’s faces.

The words hit Madara like sledgehammer.  All of his insecurities, all of his speculation had been true.  Kakashi didn’t want him.  Worse, Kakashi wanted Tatsumi.  The weight of that heartbreak hit him with an intensity Madara had not been expecting. 

Suddenly, things Madara hadn’t even known he wanted were gone—impossibilities where there had once been ‘what ifs,’ and ‘maybes,’ or no conscious thought at all, just an innate feeling.  Lazy mornings holding each other in bed—gone.  Late nights, exhausted first from sparring, and then from sparring—just a dream.  Knowing glances, desperate kisses, cold nights made warm by the company, simple meals shared in their home—their home—where they fought and made up and… and… and… in their place…

Tatsumi’s teasing smile bringing a beguiling flush to the tips of Kakashi’s ears, only for turnabout to dust her cheeks in an equally alluring pink.  Family get-togethers watching Tatsumi and Kakashi snuggle up in dark corners, or dinners sitting across the table—so far, so far across the table—while Kakashi handfed Tatsumi a bite of dessert, her licking at his fingers, him chasing the food with a kiss, nibbling at her lips, whispering how he didn’t mind the sweetness when it was served on her tongue.  Tatsumi dressed in the heirloom Uchiha wedding kimono, kneeling next to Kakashi—adorned in the Senju wedding finery—while Madara played the role of father in the Shinto wedding ceremony to bind their lives together.  Coming by Tatsumi’s office during her ‘nap time’ only to find Michika outside, the sounds of Kakashi and Tatsumi making love spilling from an open window… perhaps even catching a glance of Kakashi’s back, his taut ass flexing with each thrust, Tatsumi’s feet locked around his torso, her nails leaving red trails on his flesh, her name on his tongue instead of… instead of...

Madara was light-headed, and felt completely separated from his body.  He would have drowned under the ache and the unrelenting nightmare, or perhaps floated away, adrift, if it weren’t for a pair of hands anchoring him to reality.  Hands that were squeezing his harder and harder—bones beginning to grind together, nails biting into his flesh—the longer he just stood there like a dumbass.

Kakashi’s clothing changes depending on what he’s doing.

If it’s something official, where Tobirama and Hashirama would be dressed up, then Kakashi would be wearing the Senju dress clothes (the kimono top, haori, and hakama ensemble all the Senju wear).  (Guess who hates seeing Kakashi wearing this??? Guess who, once they’ve been dating for a bit, gives Kakashi a closet full of Uchiha-styled clothing???)

When Kakashi first gets to the past, he’s wearing his ANBU stuff (I’m assuming like, 20ish year old Kakashi made his way to the past, like post the Tenzou stuff but before Sandaime sent him to be a jounin sensei. He has two copies of Icha Icha Paradise with him, since I hc that he always has at least one backup copy of Icha Icha on him, in case something happens to the first (you’re welcome, Kakashi.  You can pay me back later in a tbd favour ).

At the time my story starts, that stuff is worn down by now. But, it kind of inspires the type of clothing he wears.

When fighting:

black sleeveless undershirt like in ANBU, with a black long-sleeved shirt with attached mask on top, the Senju clan logo on each shoulder (where the Uzumaki red spiral is on the jounin uniforms) and black pants. At this point in time, the Uzumaki have not signed a treaty with the village.  That meas Hashirama is unmarried, and Mito isn’t here yet.

He has a breast plate, that looks like Hashirama’s pretty much, but it’s forest green or silvery grey (he wanted it to be grey but Hashirama insisted that it be coloured lol, so there’s this running gag where Kakashi takes his armour to be painted grey and wears it grey one fight, but Hashirama steals it and has it repainted green, and Kakashi has to wear it until he can get it painted grey again).

There are no pauldrons (the shoulder armour) and no tasset (the skirt looking thing that covers the crotch and upper thighs). (Tobirama and Hashirama (and later Madara) give him shit for this but he says it weighs him down and refuses to wear it).

Over Kakashi’s mask is a metal face mask. It sits directly above his cloth mask, ending just below his jaw. It curves down under his chin a bit but not to his neck. It’s made up of five overlapping plates. Hashirama gave it to him as a joke when he wouldn’t wear the pauldrons. Kakashi (being Kakashi) wore it anyways. You can’t have enough masks, right?

(Forgive the crappy finger drawing I did on my phone lol, and the random line through the senju logo (and how shitty the senju logo is) i totally didn’t notice accidentally marking that up. oops.)

He still has his usual navy kunai pouch and white bandages strapped around his right thigh, and three khaki pouches across the back of his hips.

He has plated vembrances, that stretch from just below his elbow to the top of his hand (there are four plates in total on each vembrance), reminiscent of his vembrances from his younger anbu days (like the image on the right: https://m.imgur.com/kok8MMA) and they match whatever colour his breastplate is.

He still wears fingerless gloves with the silver metal plate on the back of the palm. The gloves end just above where his hand meets his wrist, and sit tighter to the skin than his jounin uniform gloves. There’s a buckle on the underside of his wrist, and there’s a little window between the top of his palm and the bottom of his wrist where a flash of skin shows (Madara is a little obsessed with that bit of skin on the inside of Kakashi’s wrist, the pervert).

His pants are tied down from mid-calf to the top of his ankle with bandages, and on top of that he has a short pair of plaited greaves that resemble his vembrances.

He has black sandals, like Hashirama and Tobirama’s, but connected to his greaves is a metal plate that covers the top of his foot.

In the series of chapters where Kakashi is working out and then Madara drags him to see Tatsumi, Kakashi is wearing just his sleeveless undershirt (Madara gets to ogle Kakashi’s biceps with those handstand push-ups lol) and gloves, his pants with the bandages around his right thigh (but not kunai pouch) and the bandages around his ankle. He’s wearing the sandals mentioned above, but the top of his foot is exposed because he’s not wearing any of his armour.  He also has one pouch on the back of his left hip, where he’s keeping Icha Icha and some weapons.

In the chapter to come, he’s wearing almost the same thing, but he has his long sleeves shirt on as well, with the sleeves rolled up to show his forearms…unless I change my mind. But that’s what he’s wearing; there’s even a  description! Isn’t that fantastic?

As if sensing where Madara’s thoughts were turning, Kakashi pulled his hand back in retreat, casually reclining back onto his elbows.  Looking up towards the—once more—pouting Uchiha, Kakashi sighed, “Dara-chan is so mean…”

Madara lifted a single brow at these dramatics.

“…it must be his insecurity”—Kakashi dodged the fist that tried to grab for his vest by rolling into Madara, causing the other man to fall on his back—“making him so angry all the time.”

Messy hair sprawled around his head, Madara continued to pout—okay, okay, he was ‘glaring’ up at Kakashi.

“I hate her,” Madara mumbled, his hands on Kakashi’s waist, thumbs sneaking their way under his lover’s shirt.

“Who?” Kakashi asked, honestly confused.

Madara pointedly looked up towards the sky, causing Kakashi’s gaze to follow.  When Kakashi understood just ‘who’ Madara was talking about, Kakashi began to chuckle once more.

“Now now, Dara-chan, it’s your fault, you know.  Since you were jealous—”

“I WAS NOT JEALOUS!”

“—of a little book.”

“…it’s your favourite book,” Madara mumbled, his hands trailing up under Kakashi’s shirt to feel his skin more closely.  Why did Kakashi insist on wearing so much clothing all the time?

Kakashi smiled down at the man who loved him so much, he hired an author to write him a book.  But not just any book…this was the story of how Kakashi and Madara fell in love.

“This latest chapter was my favourite,” Kakashi added, dropping down to place a masked kiss on Madara’s neck, before nuzzling his face in that same crevice.

“She…she wrote me…so pathetically!” Madara huffed, forgetting temporarily the author’s unfavourable adjective choices as he turned to brush his nose up against Kakashi’s hair, breathing the other man in.

“Maa…she’s just trying to tell the story accurately—”

Madara bit at Kakashi’s ear.

“I thought I was the biter in this relationship?” Kakashi punctuated this with a nip at Madara’s neck, his hand having slipped down his mask just long enough for teeth to meet flesh, soothed by a swipe of his tongue.  

When Madara carded his fingers in Kakashi’s hair and pulled his face up to meet with those uncovered lips, Kakashi’s mask was back in its place once more.  Madara exhaled in frustration, dropping his head with a soft thump back on the ground.

“She’s always going on about how…desperate, and wistful and…and…pathetic, I was, mooning over you, even emulating Tatsumi, of all people!”

“Tatsumi is very beautiful,” Kakashi teased, just to see the possessive fire light in Madara’s eyes. “But Dara-chan should know that I prefer the view from here.”

Madara smirked, pulling Kakashi down for a kiss, the fingers of his other hand slipping under Kakashi’s mask—this time, without protest.  He pushed the fabric just low enough to expose Kakashi’s lips, before capturing them with his own.  The kiss was lazy, slow brushes of lips and tongue and teeth—Kakashi was a biter, after all—soothing Madara’s ruffled feathers—

“Alright, that’s it!” Madara yelled up towards the sky, sitting up and forcing Kakashi back on his heels, his mask already in its proper place.  “I don’t pout, I don’t whine, and I don’t have ruffled feathers!”  Madara’s hair puffed up around him, not unlike how a bird would puff up—

“I AM NOT A BIRD!” Madara was on his feet now, still screaming at the sky.  His rage quickly turned his face red.  For once, his flush was in anger and not in embarrassment—

“I’M ANGRY MORE OFTEN THAN EMBARASSED, THAT LINE ISN’T EVEN TRUE!!!”

While Madara huffed and puffed in denial—

“I AM NOT IN DENIAL!”

—Kakashi was sitting back, watching the spectacle unfold.  He couldn’t help but laugh at the scene Madara was making of himself, getting into a losing argument with an omnipotent force.

“Maa…saying ‘that line isn’t even true,’ must mean that the other ones were, which means Dara-chan is in denial…”

“Oh don’t you start too!” Madara growled, whipping around to snarl at Kakashi.  Kakashi was his, which meant he should be backing Madara up, not siding with the lovely and completely accurate author.

“WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET MESSING WITH UCHIHA MADARA!!!!!11!1one!!1!” Madara yelled like a crazy person, spinning in circles and stomping around like a complete nutso.

“Maa…Author-chan…Dara-chan didn’t even say that…”

The author clearly ignored Kakashi’s interference; the more handsome ninja was only trying to save Madara’s reputation.  How lovely. Kakashi was always looking out for people, even when they didn’t deserve it.  What an angel.

“I told you the author was biased!”

“Mou…Dara-chan doesn’t think I’m an angel?”

Madara sputtered like a fool, “You’re the light in my life, you perfect, wondrous angel—dammit he’s the devil in disguise, now the author is putting words into my mouth?”

“Is there something else you’d rather have in your mouth?” Kakashi winked—wait he’s wearing his hitai-ate, he can’t actually wink, but Madara knew what was going on and was down for some of that Kaka-dick—

“Wait…this isn’t even her usual writing…what’s happening?”

“Mou…Dara-chan doesn’t want some of this ‘Kaka-dick?’”

“I always want that Kaka-dick—I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT YOU DAMNED HARPY!  WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU WILL REGRET EVER PUTTING SUCH VILE WORDS IN MY MOUTH!”

Kakashi watched on in bemusement, pulling out his book from his back pouch.  “Have fun with Author-chan,” he said with a two-fingered salute in goodbye, before turning to walk off.

“That’s impossible—where do you think you’re going?” Madara chased after Kakashi, much preferring his lover’s company to that of the author who was trying to celebrate April Fools’ Day by teasing Madara.  He deserved it, after all.  Not like Kakashi.  Kakashi was perfect.

“She has such a bias for you,” Madara muttered as the duo walked side-by-side.

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Kakashi offered, flipping to the next page one handed, while reaching for Madara’s hand with the other.

Madara scoffed.  “I don’t want you anywhere near her.”   Madara could only imagine what the author would do to Kakashi if she had him all alone.

Kakashi’s thumb started unconsciously brushing over Madara’s knuckles.  Suddenly, Madara’s anger was forgotten.  “Come on,” he said, pulling Kakashi back with him to their former perch—he pointedly ignored the bird reference in favour of the man beside him. The author thought this was a smart choice.  In fact, if the author had to choose between cuddling with Kakashi and yelling at an omnipotent entity, she would have chosen Kakashi too.  Madara made his first smart choice of the day.

Madara continued to ignore the author.  He smirked smugly.  She was only jealous, after all.

“Stop teasing Author-chan,” Kakashi piped up, sitting back on the ground and dragging Madara with him. “She’s just going to be worse to you in the next chapter.”

Madara scoffed, “It’s impossible to look more pathetic than she made me out in that chapter.”

“You’d be surprised,” Kakashi teased.  Only, it wasn’t exactly teasing, since the ‘book’ he was reading was actually the first draft of the next chapter.

“WHAT?  She’s letting you read the chapter early?” Madara reached for the manuscript, but Kakashi deftly avoided his grabby hands.  “She told me that I couldn’t see them until they’re finished!”

“I’m her beta-reader,” Kakashi informed, pulling out a red pen and correcting something, conveniently proving his point.

“That’s not fair,” Madara pouted, crossing his arms petulantly.  “I’m the one who asked her to write it for you.”

Kakashi leaned over to kiss Madara quickly on his lips.  “That’s why I get to beta it.”

Things started to click together in Madara’s mind.  

“You…you’re why I always look so desperate in these chapters!?”

Kakashi’s eyes went wide as he unconsciously stiffened.  Madara automatically knew he had messed up.  But what had he said?  Madara was the one who looked like a fool, like he couldn’t control himself around Kakashi, not the other way around.  What did Kakashi have to be upset by?

Oh.

Oh.

Madara got on his knees, crawling to close the small distance between them.  One hand went to the back of Kakashi’s neck, while the other pushed the manuscript aside.  “Why don’t you put that down, and I’ll show you just how desperate you make me…”

Kakashi, eyes wide, let the book drop from now limp fingers as he pulled Madara towards him with his legs. Madara’s now free hand slipped under Kakashi’s mask, and with one last smirk, he caught Kakashi’s lips with his own.

The author left to eat dinner, giving the lovers some privacy.

AN: yeah, that’s right.  I ended it there lol.  I hope you enjoyed it!  I’m not sure whether I should post this on FF/AO3, so if you have an opinion on what I should do with it, i’d love to know.  I can either post it as the next chapter, or make a ‘Holiday Specials’ thing.  I like the idea of doing goofy one-shots for the holidays, as a way of celebrating.

Happy April Fools’ Day!  I hope you didn’t have any mean pranks played on you.

Kakashi spent an inordinate amount of time over at the Inuzuka Compound.

Madara couldn’t understand it.  The Inuzuka were a strong clan, true, but they were barbaric.  Their ninken—while deserving of respect like any other ninja creature—had the manners of their owners, which is to say, none at all.  The compound smelt like wet dog and manure, despite whatever efforts the clan took to keep it tidy.  Though, if he were being completely honest, Madara didn’t think they made much of an effort at all.

Madara also didn’t want to admit that he disliked the compound because—and this was a tightly kept secret—he was allergic to dogs.  What would people think if they found out the great Uchiha Madara, strongest head the Uchiha Clan had in its history, could be hindered by a little bit of dog fur?  It made his eyes swell, all red and itchy.  Madara’s eyes should be red for one reason and one reason only, and that reason started with “Sha” and ended in “ringan.”

To say that Madara was curious as to why Kakashi spent so much time there was an understatement.  Madara was curious by nature, but more dangerous than that, he was used to resolving his curiosity quickly.  Kakashi had always been a curiosity wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, which was how he had garnered the Uchiha’s attention in the first place.

What Madara had not realized about himself, was that he was startlingly jealous and possessive.  He knew that they weren’t good qualities—knew they were dangerous, knew it was wrong to be that way. He knew that Kakashi wouldn’t appreciate it, couldn’t be held down, and would resent whoever tried (although Madara also knew that Kakashi loved to be chased—cheeky bastard).

Kakashi wasn’t his.  Madara had to remind himself that time and time again.  When Kakashi was injured, it was not for Madara to take care of him.  When Kakashi was fighting, it was not for Madara to protect him—not that the elusive man needed it.  When Kakashi went off to the Inuzuka Compound day after day—on the days Madara’s cousin had to be there to help train the vets—it was not for Madara to wonder why. 

But he did.

There was obviously nothing of worth at the Inuzuka Compound—by Madara’s standards, at least.  Those mangy dogs were uncivilized, and so were their ninken.  The only thing there that Madara believed could catch anyone’s attention was not a ‘something’ but a ‘someone.’  And that ‘someone’ was Uchiha Tatsumi, Madara’s cousin, and the woman who was spending an increasing amount of time with his—ah, with Kakashi.