#11.4.20

11.4.20. California

My younger brother called me, excitedly, saying that he went hunting with my father, and he shot his first elk. My dad got two other animals this year, and while it did bother me, it didn’t bother me anywhere near as this.

He told me how he got it. I don’t want to go into detail... it’s too graphic and terrible tbh. It also wasn’t his fault, because he’s young and new to hunting, but the elk was put through a lot of suffering. He was excited as he was telling me all of this; but as he was talking, I could feel the energy of the elk... the suffering, the fear, the terror, the pain... I saw the whole scene, and felt absolutely terrible. I put on a facade of excitement for him, but as soon as we hung up I broke down.

I went into the astral, and using the energy of the elk, I went there. It was this forested area on a hilly part... kind of dark... I couldn’t find the elk... but I could feel the energy of the place was... tainted, and horrible. After looking a bit, I broke down, and cried... feeling the pain and negative energy... tears fell down my cheeks and into the earth... and it created ripples... just like what has been happening in my personal realms... which I thought was weird...

I suddenly had an image of the elk lying down, shivering in fear... I got up, and using this image I found it... its’ soul was frightened, and in bad shape... I sat next to it and was able to calm it down using some healing and soothing energy. I cried into its’ fur.

After a while, I could tell that it was feeling better. Its’ energy felt clearer. It stood up, and began to walk around. After some more time had gone, I asked if it wanted to cross over. It gave me an inquisitive look... so I channeled some of the energy... it was a thick, pure white... almost milky... and it flowed into me... some white flecks moved from me to the elk, and it investigated it cautiously, before getting excited. I channeled this pure, white energy into it, until it was eventually glowing brightly. It pressed its’ head against mine, and then gave me a lick or too, and then trotted off excitedly, fading as it did. 

Fuck. I’ve been crying so much lately lol which is so weird. I am absolutely not a crier; it takes a lot to make me cry. But for some reason, this past life stuff has me crying like a baby almost every time... and now this. Honestly, maybe it’s a good thing. I’ve always known that it was unhealthy not to cry anyways lol.

In other news... I was in the astral yesterday and some spirit tried to eat me lol. I was kind of walking back, and I felt something grab me and whisk me away. I came to in this little like... weird grove thing, in front of this very wide, stout tree. I tried talking to it, because I’m used to working with trees. It didn’t answer... I couldn’t seen to communicate it at all. I tried to leave, and it wouldn’t let me. I began to get impatient, and then it grabbed me and tried to consume me...

I wasn’t having that, so I armored up and killed it. Interestingly enough, it was made of flesh and blood instead of wood. That, combined with the fact that its’ energy was terrible and like low-key sus, I figured that it was a malicious spirit. I don’t like killing things, even spirits, but... sometimes it has to be done. 

I also had an adventure where a spirit sought out my help to try and find a malicious spirit who had stolen a soul and was trying to consume it... that was wild, but it’s far too long to type out, so I will probably just keep it in my archives.

Phew. So many things... 

Up until Monday afternoon, I was feeling anxious and kind of sick, tbh. But I recognized that a lot of that was actually not my own emotions, but probably the collective emotions of everyone surrounding the election. So I grounded and shielded from it and I’ve been feeling sooo much better. I wish I would’ve done that a while ago. 

I don’t really have much else to add at the moment... I’m still a little bit of an emotional zombie after that elk incident lol. I think I’m gonna go grab some of my comfort food 😂😂

That’s it for now.

I wish everyone a wonderful rest of your day.

Mei Changsu had been lying unconscious for four days now since emerging from the Xuanjing Bureau. The man’s physician, Yan, has been working furiously to mitigate the effects of the Wujin pill.

Jingyan tried to avoid looking at his advisor’s exposed skin, poking out from his sleeves and chest where acupuncture needles stood out like knives. The purple stripes around his neck made Jingyan’s own heart feel like it had been stabbed many times over.

He was the one who insisted Wei Zheng had to be saved. He spoke such grand words of loyalty and honor, but was willing to throw his own man into the arms of Xia Jiang instead of protecting him.