#......sorry

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Steve pulled into the parking lot of Hawkins High. Nancy was sitting in the seat next to him. The air was tense between them, had been since last Wednesday.

"So let me see the essay" She said, he unfolded it and handed it to her. He watched her face as she was reading it and he could see her mouth, pinching into a line. clearly preparing herself to let him down gently.

"i know it's shit" he said,

"No, it's not, It just needs a little reorganising, can I make notes?"

"Yeah, sure." He said.

"So here you talk about your basketball game, which is really good, but then you go on to talk about your grandfather and I don't really see how it's related?"

"Well, you see, we both won. That's the connection." 

"..Right" She says, almost grimacing. "Well, when's the deadline?"

"Tomorrow for early admissions." She winced. He said, "Well, Can you come over and help me with it tonight?"

"We can't. We've got the dinner tonight."

He froze thinking back to what happened at last week's dinner with Barbara's parents. They'd been doing it for months now. Coming over every Wednesday, having dinner with them and consoling them, pretending not to know that the daughter they thought had run away and was missing was in fact dead and buried.

It had always been horrible but last Wednesday Nancy seemed to be having a harder time than usual.

She drank too much at dinner And when she excused herself to the bathroom, Steve followed trying to look after her. And that's when she got mad at him for not telling Barbara's parents about her death.

Which was completely unfair. 

He remembered the look on her face, looking at him like he was disgusting. He had to remind her that they were under a government NDA to not tell anyone. 

She didn't care.

She started calling the government bullshit, the NDA bullshit. Hawkins lab bullshit. All the stuff that happened and Barb's death? Bullshit.

And then she turned on him. She pointed her finger at him and said "you are bullshit".

He remembered reeling back like he'd been hit, hurt and shock making it hard to breathe. 

"Nance, what do you..."

"you're pretending like everything is fine and it's not fine! Barbara is dead and no one can know. This is all bullshit! You and me pretending, going on little dates like we're in love." 

Steve froze.

"..Like we're in love?.."

"Bullshit." she spat.

"..You don't love me?" 

At that moment she turned around and threw up in the toilet. Even with his mind reeling he'd helped her out, holding her hair and rubbing her back even though his mind was a million miles away, he was barely aware of their touching.

He remembers awkwardly apologising to Barbara's parents, they were very understanding, dinner was over anyway. He remembers having to support Nancy, the touch scalding him as he led her to his car. He remembers driving her home in silence, simmering the whole time trying not to cry. He dropped her off at the door into Mrs Wheeler's arms and just walking away. Mrs Wheeler could see that he was upset but didn't say anything.

He came back to the car where they were sitting as Nancy repeated whatever she'd said. He scoffed, "right, of course, the dinner."

She glared at him.

He had confronted her about what she said the next day. But she claimed that she was drunk and that she didn't remember any of it. It wasn't right for him to be mad at her. And he kind of understood that…but he could not shake the hurt that he felt when she called everything that he felt for her. The last year of their life spent together. Bullshit.

A roaring engine interrupted them. They both turned on instinct to see a navy blue camaro swerve into the parking lot, screeching to a halt in front of them. 

They glanced at each other silently communicating and opening their doors, as they stood they could hear the loud music blasting from the car, something with alot of electric guitar. Nancy's sharp eyes immediately noticed the California licence plate. 

The door opened and a booted foot slammed down onto the concrete, next  a head of dirty blonde curls ducked out from the car as the owner got out, straightening and slamming the door shut.He leaned back against the car to light a cigarette, looking out across the parking lot with a smirk on his face, his eyes glancing over Nancy and Steve with a sneer.

The other door opened and Steve vaguely noticed a redheaded girl get out and skate off.

But he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the boy. 

A cigarette dangling from his pink lips as he tucked his tight, white tshirt into his even tighter blue jeans that left little to the imagination. As he turned his head Steve caught the flash of an earring dangling from one of his ears. 

The boy took one last suck on his cigarette, Steve watching the way his cheeks hollowed and how his long eyelashes fluttered as he blew the smoke out through his nose, before he threw his cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with his boot and sauntering off towards the school building. Swaying his hips and showing off his gorgeously muscled ass as he did. Steve noticed the tittering of girls as he walked past them clearly checking him out.

Nancy huffed, drawing Steve's attention back to her, she'd come round the front of the car to stand next to him and watch the stranger disappear. Her nose was scrunched up, a judgemental look on her face.

Steve frowned.

He looked down at her, her small frame and soft brown hair in contrast with her piercing eyes and crossed arms. Then he thought of a muscled frame with unruly curls, a smirking mouth that didn't match the look in those sea blue eyes and decided then and there that he was going to make a decision.

“Nance. Do you love me?”

“What!?”

Steve clarified, “I know that you were drunk. But you said that you didn't love me. So I'm asking you now, do you love me?”

She froze. Clearly panicked. And her mouth opened and closed. 

She seemed to not know how to reply.

“Right..i see” he muttered, turning away and willing back the tears in his eyes. 

“Steve” she said “Steve that's not fair!”

He whirled around, 

“What's not fair!? We've been dating for a year! I thought that we were in love! You said that you loved me. And then you call it bullshit.” he took a steadying breath “Even now, when you're sober. You still can't say that you love me. So maybe you're right! That year of our relationship was bullshit. So what's the point of continuing!?”

She looked hurt, almost like she might cry, and steve could see her opening her mouth to say something but he cut in before she could, afterall she’d already hurt him so badly

“I won't see you at the dinner tonight. Goodbye, Nancy.”

He spun around and walked into the school, immediately veering into the bathrooms to splash water on his face and compose himself. He wasn't sure if he really wanted their relationship to be over, but he certainly didn't want what was going on for the past week to continue.

Or perhaps what had been happening for the past Year, they say that drunk words are sober thoughts, or at least that's what Steve was telling himself as he wondered if he'd made the right decision.

He headed to his locker, feeling determined to not regret this, on his way he saw that blond haired boy in the office, leaning on the desk in a way that showed off his ass, a charming smile on his face as he spoke to the receptionist. 

The boy turned, looking Steve up and down then smirking as they made eye contact. The receptionist said something and the boy turned away again. 

Steve could feel heat rising to his cheeks, but also sinking low in his gut as he walked away, unable to help the smile forcing its way onto his face.

Ha! Hello!! This is so kind! 💕 ‘Married life’ is weird but wonderful so far!!

I’ve lived with roommates for the last few years but that normally meant between 3-6 other women, so coming home from school/work was always an ordeal. There was always someone wanting to go out or have people over or something. And I really did love that time of my life!!! But, as boring as it sounds—I’ve been ready to ‘settle’ for a bit. By no means does that mean giving up adventure and spontaneity, but just—I don’t know, I’d rather be doing those things with my one person at my side if that makes sense? I know that’s unbelievably cheesy to say and I do already regret it, but c’est la vie.

tagged by @raveneil!! thank u babes!

1. Teeth - 5SOS (dont murder me its an andreil song okay) (and i like it)

2. Hellrot - Prinz Pi (its abt the summer vibes!)

3. Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan (LISTEN i read an andreil band au fic where this was used and just. heres the link) (theres a whole playlist. heres the link)

4. Outro: Ego - BTS (yeah yeah ik)

5. Anchorite (Love You Very Much) - csh (and every time i am astounded at how Long this song is)

6. All I Want - Kodaline (this song wouldve been on this list at any time last year)

7. ILYSB stripped - LANY (honestly ive had this whole playlist on repeat. heres the link)(the playlist is also from a fic. heres the link)

8. Invisible - Zara Larsson (obviously im still not over klaus) ("that once a year. i get to see my friend" NOOOOOOOOOO)

9. September - Earth, Wind & Fire (every like. half a year i get into the september feels n cant stop listening to this song)

10. Please Notice - Christian Leave (ive written like 5 fics in my head to this one)