they're adapting, we must adapt faster

Put your harpy girl in a harness, then attach a big rope to the harness, then take her to the park and fly her like a kite

☝️Probrlem

Whats the problem

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

Reblonk

does anyone have that 4chan post about the guy who got like. deradicalised from being an incel because he started taking care of shrimp?

thats the one! thank you!

I think of shrimp guy often and I hope he and his shrimp are doing great and if I ever meet him I would love to ask about them

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly

Update on that friend: a bunch of people sent me "he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit" gifs in response to that story. I can tell you now with certainty that she definitely has the spirit, and she's not confused anymore

Good rule of thumb is the more people of different backgrounds you know, the harder it becomes to dehumanize them, so its a really good thing to meet people from different backgrounds, and anyone telling you that people from x culture or y country you really shouldnt interact with probably dont have your best interest in mind

people hate it when i say "black people getting cancer is racist" but im literally fucking right because systemic racism has led to chemical dumping being acceptable in black/brown neighborhoods and black people have higher rates of cancer as a result

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.