#(anti-)

[Where I am and why I can't leave.] [Update May 9] [May 13]

P. S.: So many people saw me cry and yet again, at best, they just stared.

Madi Diaz makes raw, piercing, intensely personal songs that feel like they could expand into anthems. She occupies a weird, intermediary position between the most inward-focused singer-songwriter’s art and the world of commercial pop. For instance, you could hardly ask for a more self-lacerating end-of-the-relationship song than “Feel Something,” with its urgent strumming, its keening verses about break-up sex, its anguished plea to “feel something.” And yet you can also imagine the tune in the hands of a pop diva, its payoff blown out into arena-filling belts and sing-along communal angst. “If so how, if not why, if I can, why can’t I…feel,” could easily be a battle cry, not the tamped down confessional that Diaz delivers.

4:46 p.m

So FYI, tumblr is putting mature content blockers on my shirtless photos now... it looks like tumblr is becoming anti trans. Just throwing this out there. Every post with my scars showing has a content block on it.

We got to fight tumblr on this trash. I can't believe it's getting worse than fucking Facebook.

If tumblr doesn't stop this shit tbh I'll lose the last social media website I use. Cause I don't got time for my body to be content blocked bc I have scars.

Trans bodies are beautiful. And my scars are the same as a cis man being shirtless. They are actually discriminating at this point.

(Anti-)

BY KEITH MILLER

Manning Fireworks, the fourth studio album from singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist MJ Lenderman, is an endearing rock album with slight folk influences that smirks, smiles, and sighs with its audience. Its opening title track leads with an acoustic guitar that moseys its way to the track’s conclusion. Fiddles, electric guitars, and percussion start to fill in as Lenderman sings, “Once a perfect little baby / Who’s now a jerk / Standing close to the pyre manning fireworks.” The thesis seeps through the album: You used to be innocent, but you should know better by now. The lead single “She’s Leaving You” leans into this somber concept. It sounds simultaneously like a hug and a difficult conversation. The chorus reminds its listener, “We’ve all got work to do,” while the guitar builds up and maintains a steady progression to its finale: Wednesday lead singer and Lenderman’s real life ex-girlfriend Karly Hartzman closing out the track, singing, “She’s leaving you” as a steady bass line fills the back space.

Parts of Manning Fireworks feel like a garage band rocking out with the door wide open, like on “Wristwatch” or “On My Knees”, while other songs, like “Rip Torn,” are reminiscent of something you might hear sitting around a bonfire at Boy Scout camp. The product here is a stellar album right up until the very near end. That said, my biggest gripe with Manning Fireworks is the closing track. “Bark at the Moon” plays with a 10-minute run time, twice as long as the second-longest track on the album. I always get excited when a band like MJ Lenderman’s records a long song; I love hearing how they can justify the length. Unfortunately, while half of “Bark at the Moon” is a thoughtful composition about growing up, the other half is just noise emanating from the guitars. The vocals and instrumentation are poignant, but the guitar fuzz drags on a little too long and quickly loses whatever emotion it tried to muster.

Still, Manning Fireworks is a comforting rock album that doesn’t shy away from its Southern roots while still pushing the mainstream appeal of Lenderman’s brand of indie rock. For its very few shortcomings, it’ll be a great record to have on rotation as summer fades into fall. Give it a listen while you’re sipping on something near that bonfire--just be sure to keep the fireworks at a safe distance.