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TMSOURCE's Episode of the Week  ↳ WEEK 109 ✧ 6x14 — "Grey Water"

GRACE VAN PELT 🩷

Something I have noticed, in dealing with other 6s / self-observation.

All core 6s are somewhat pugnacious, which means instantly ready and willing to argue about anything with anyone, at any point. To hair-split, nitpick, find fault in your reasoning, point out where you were wrong, and be “gotcha!” about it. But their gut fix will make them more or less forceful about it.

6 → 9: argumentative, corrective, pugnacious only as it doesn’t risk separation from the other person and/or escalate to an uncomfortable level. This 6 will push people until they push back, then over-correct or back off from the argument, or be apologetic just to stop the other person from escalating further. Lots of anxious internal reactivity and dread about what could happen next / if there will be any retaliation or further escalations (waiting for them to answer your e-mail, and fearing the worst). Much of the time, this 6 wants to leap on something or be argumentative or point out it’s stupid, only to write up something and then hesitate to share it, as they think through the possible consequences (will this upset them, create a blowback on me, cause me to become a target, etc).

6 → 1: firm in their convictions, becomes “too sure” to avoid being wrong, doubles down on moral arguments and moral superiority in language when challenged. Believes they are right, and need to convince you or change your thinking, so they keep at it, responding, hammering down, arguing from a position of “this feels right, so it is.” They are not as conflict-avoidant as the 6-9. May get uncomfortable with differences of opinions or if people get upset, but justify their point of view by “at least now they know the truth.” Lots of emphasis on “people who do bad things are not trustworthy, and/or are evil.”

6 → 8: double reactivity means there’s nothing dialing back the escalating. Gets bigger, louder, more insistent, more angry in an argument, won’t back down, won’t give ground, is “more 8 than the 8” (a real 8 knows who has the power in any argument and when to give ground; a 6-8 keeps going because they need to convince the other person). Can be very raw, direct, unfiltered, “this is the truth about this/how I feel/deal with it,” but as core 6s, they still don’t like separation or people to be mad at them that they care about, so they will try damage control “after the fact.” Sometimes will over-correct on things that feel less threatening (“I am sorry about this but not that thing that I still believe is true”) to re-establish a connection. Their bluntness and truth-telling can be the thing that causes escalations in other people, and then the 8 fix has no choice but to stand its ground, until the 6 core decides to do damage control.

The heart fix also has something to do with it; the 2 fix will add more positivity to any of these combos; 3 will add an assertive energy and emphasis on being competent; 4 adds more explosive reactivity.

6→ 9 → 3: justifies being in harmony with others as the smart thing to do, avoidance of attack, and in “looking like the mature participant in this fight.” Trends neutral, can under-react to avoid over-reacting. Lots of anger and immediate reactions that get handed off to the 9 fix to de-escalate, because the 3 tells the 6 it will look bad to have a fit about this. It is all justified as being the “smart” thing to do, and in not showing people their soft underbelly; if they know they can upset you, you might be targeted. Can justify not going after its goals by “it won’t matter anyway, so you need to be satisfied with scraps,” but the 3 will keep improving regardless.

6 → 9 → 2: justifies being in harmony with others as the kind and loving thing to do. Trends positive. 6-2 is very warm and approachable, always ready to help, of course I’ll come right away. Some 2ish pride, but 6 doesn’t want to intrude and will dial back 2, because they don’t want to upset anyone by overstepping their boundaries (the 9 influence).

6 → 9 → 4: feels in disharmony with itself, if it is too calm and unemotional (9) because that is not the truth of what it thinks and feels (4). Trends negative. 6-4 can ruminate and dwell on their pain, constantly bringing it up and inferring that others have not suffered as much as they have, and their problems are not fixable (the 9-4 influence); in truth, the 6 is fearful of failure and doesn’t want to risk a solution failing, because the expect it will; the 9 does not want to challenge itself or leave its comfort zone; the 4 doesn’t want to be fixed or see a need to fix itself.

6 → 1 → 3: is “right” to avoid being wrong, doubles down on moral absolutes and certainties, with a lot of additional self-confidence that comes from 1-3. Trends negative, unless the 3 fix doesn’t like that, and sees it as a bad look to carry around.

6 → 1 → 2: is “right” and confident of knowing what is best for others in any given situation, can be relational and very helpful, generous, and kind, but also have a rigidity that comes from at all times being beholden to their own inner “should.” Trends negative/positive/neutral, if negative it is for the good and protection of others; if positive, it is because you catch more flies with honey.

6 → 1 → 4: double frustration, prickly, picky, nothing is ever right or good enough, but 6 is still in charge and wants to connect on some level to people and things that do not “repulse” them. Mostly concerned with their own standards and upholding them / not making compromises. Trends negative, thanks to 6 being negative by itself, 1 always looking for what is wrong or bad to fix it, and 4 being convinced nothing is as it could be (deep).

6 → 8 → 3: double aggression and self-confidence, does not care about rules or think they apply to them, can double down on an argument and not give up ground, want to be liked (double attachment), but struggle to adapt the self to others since 8 does not want to. Clash between “I don’t have to listen to you” 8 fix and 6-3 “but I do, tho.” The 3 will tone down some of the reactivity, but isn’t fast enough to stop it altogether; it will image-manage after the fact.

6 → 8 → 2: double super-ego, lots of should thinking, shame centered around overdoing 8 reactivity and anger (a good person would not upset others or attack them, so when I do so it is justified), 6-2 “but I am here to look after my family/people” thinking, teddy bear energy – bark is worse than its bite, big blow-ups but then some reactive drama to try and elicit sympathy (“I was only trying to help” ; “do you really think I am such a TERRIBLE person?”). Can be warm and comforting, but this usually happens after the 6-8 tells you off for being stupid.

6 → 8 → 4: Triple reactivity, no reason to de-escalate, frustration, rejection, nobody tells me who I am or to calm down, you are all ignoring what is wrong, unlovely, bad, inhumane, or hideous in this situation. Can lock into the desire for vengeance (8 seeks it, 4 welcomes the fire that comes with it, an emotion to embrace that others are too weak to use as a motivator). 8-4 counters some of the 6 focus, and makes it more comfortable with going against core super-ego demands (“I should think of me!”).

The position of each fix under the 6 will either increase or decrease certain of these traits; the 6-3 will be consciously aware of needing to image manage and not fail; the 6-2 will be more aggressive in moving toward people to help; the 6-4 will escalate and move inward, ruminating on its pains, and expressing its shame and frustration.

ETA: Forgot to mention, the wing on the 6 also matters. With 7, you have additional assertive energy, but also less conviction of being right; more of a desire to mess with people for amusement, and to back off when the argument is “boring.” With 5, there is more certainty in being right, and less room for allowing the other person to be right; less self-questioning, but also a point of them reaching the idea that “this person is an idiot, don’t waste your breath on them anymore.”