Teenage Dirtbag

A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.

that’s a goddamned power move

This went from normal to oddly dark to normal again, gave me whiplash

some kid just skateboarded down my street crying

Opens up the condom with my teeth but just starts eating it

hungwy i’ve been following you for a while but this might be it. 

So the post about wanting to fuck the starkist tuna wasn’t a problem for you

I Died In 2010 and Was Replaced By Someone With Absolutely No Motivation and Complete Emotional Unavailability, a conspiracy thread

i wish bards weren’t turned into the jokey silly class of thots, for zero reason other than the fact that i cannot comprehend them being able to cast power word kill

They can cast power word kill???

Obviously Power Word Kill is just Vicious Mockery turned up to 11. You insult them so hard they just die on the spot.

then hecklers at my sold-out fiddle performance of the year better be ready for my dumb face to be the last thing they see before the force of me saying “suck my balls you motherfucker” shatters their skull on impact

if your high-level bard doesn’t vaporize at least one person with ‘begone, THOT’ then have they truly been living?

ok but can you imagine a worse, more terrifying fate than medusa’s one? just imagine. first of all you’re raped in your goddess’ temple. which, apart from the obvious trauma, means you can’t keep doing what you devoted your entire life to. your goddess gifts you with the ability to turn those you look at into stone and your hair into snakes so that you can defend yourself and be a threat rather than a victim to men. and then?????? a fucking MAN decides hes gonna hunt you down and slaughter you for…. sport like just because he can?????? and not only does he kill you but he keeps your head as a weapon???????? effectively using you and your body for his own purpose exactly like your rapist??????????????? like??? and this man is considered a hero while you’ll be remembered as a monstruous, dangerous entity???????????????????? medusa deserved better smh

wow the medusa avenging squad rly is there!!! make some noise ladies

I got Rogue Titan gettin’ krunk. I was not disappointed.

OH MY GOD I GOD EREN IN TITAN FORM TWERKING

I got some fat ugly fucker.

Well I got JOHN CENAAAA TA TANA TAAAAA

see what i get

I got nothing

an old white dude in taco bell saw me wearing my wal-mart vest and gave me a speech about how i need to quit retail and get a REAL job so i could one day “get a car like that” and pointed at my own damn car

for everyone that asked, i just said “you’re right” and then got in my car and drove away

Actual text from my sister when Katelyn debuted this “Holy shit. Katelyn Ohashi’s routine this year.”

College, and specifically UCLA, gymnastics seems like such a fun and encouraging place. I love how she’s genuinely smiling throughout the entire video and how her teammates are cheering her on and truly loving and supporting her throughout her routine. I hope we can get more of this in sports!

My favourite thing is the fact her team mates do parts of the routine with her. It’s so cute. And I love her

Whoa! She’s fantastic and y’all know I love Michael ❤️

Not only is this spectacular, but I had R-E-S-P-E-C-T playing when I scrolled upon it, and it SYNCED UP SO WELL HOLY CRAP!

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS POST

THIS IS ONE OF THE POSTS THAT MADE ME WANT TO GET A TUMBLR.

i lov goofy boys thats so my type

Gawrsh a-hyuck

That’s so sad wiretap play Despacito