So, I likely wouldnât have said anything, but, the sentiment has popped up on my twitter timeline three times now in the past two weeks alone which is three times as many times as Iâd prefer to have seen it without going looking for it, and I canât keep using my friends and partner as a sounding board in dms. So. Here this will go, and hopefully help work out my feelings on the matter.
To be very blunt and to the point: I donât greatly like the argument âno man should be a gynocologistâ.
On the surface of the argument - it reads as what people who are making the argument *think* theyâre saying. âI donât want someone who cannot potentially empathize with my pain and issues and has a higher chance of being predatory/unsafe/dismissive/dishonest having access to me in a very personal and vulnerable environment. I would like my preferences to be understood and validatedâ and that?
That is perfectly valid and completely understandable. You *should* be able to see the person who makes you feel most comfortable and heard when seeing a doctor! You deserve that right!
And the horror stories - they are horrific, and I believe them. To the people who disbelieve anyone would go through all that time and money for medical school just for the chance to hurt other people - it happens, and itâs real. Listen to the victims. Some people are dedicated to being evil.
But. All this is not the point Iâm trying to make.
When you use terminology like âliterally no man should ever be a gynocologistâ or âwhy would any man choose to be a gyno when he doesnât understand what we go through?â you are taking part in terf rhetoric, if not downright terf ideology, and bioessentialism.
Yes, yes you are. I have just stated above, you have the right to choose who you want to see for your medical issues and wellbeing. Thatâs not in question. If you donât feel comfortable with one, then you should see someone you do feel comfortable with.
But perpetuating the narrative of âman = penis-havingâ automatically in these arguments helps no one, and actively harms people like me.
An AFAB transmasc nonbinary person who has had to and will have to see a gynocologist for my health, who sees these word choices and feels passed over, and sometimes actively attacked.
Some times its just people being forgetful - and arenât they very privileged to be so. Oher times, a transmasc individual like myself will point out this type of terfish language and get slapped down for it. Told they are invalidating womenâs experiences, told to shut up, told we are hijacking the post. Itâs sometimes just rude, and sometimes very revealing of what a lot of cis women think of trans folks.
Iâm finding myself running out of steam for this post, because thinking about it for too long makes me tire and mad and sad and frustrated beyond measure.
So, to reiterate: If a doctor of any kind makes you feel hurt or hurts you, or even if you just donât feel like theyâre the right fit for your care, for any reason, you have the right to feel that way, and you have the right to seek someone else out. That is not what people are upset about. At least, not most people like me that Iâve seen on these posts.
But please donât forget about us in your arguments when making them so black and white.
stormborns
gracieabrams
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
