Tired & Confused

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

ive won your thought experiment by taking a hammer to the skull

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it

i am just moved by everything now. i'm porous and everything gets inside me

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

(flirting) i could be your problem

I HATTTE ACCIDENTALLY SAYING SOMETHING ONLY THE KILLER WOULD KNOW

IDENTITY EMERGES ORGANICALLY FROM ACTION

IF YOU DONT DO ANYTHING YOU ARENT ANYONE. SORRY

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

take everything I say with a hint of garlic, ginger, spring onions and a dash of soy sauce