We live in a sys-ciety

my secret: making friends is so much easier once you learn not to feel guilty or nervous for existing. the more self assured you get, the more talkative you become! the more talkative you become, the more approachable you are! and as a bonus, when you feel confident casually chatting with others (randomly leaving friendly comments, or inviting someone to come sit with you) it makes it easy for people to like you!

and another thing: being kind to yourself isn’t just good for your mental health, it also makes other people feel safer with you. think about it: if you make a small social misstep and go “oh man I’m so cringy, that was so stupid of me, i need to shut up…” others can hear that and think, “oh, so if I make that same mistake, this person sees that as a cringy, stupid thing to do. i’d better be careful about what I say/do around them.” which can make a friendship strained!

the "feeling like something is wrong with you that you have to hide" background noise is often a result of childhood trauma because an abused or neglected child who doesn't rationalize their mistreatment runs the risk of alienating themselves from what little shelter and care is actually being provided. it's theorized that blaming yourself at that age is a way to survive by coming up with a justification for why you're being abused so you don't blame your caregivers for your own suffering, thereby alienating them to the point that you are fed or sheltered or protected even less than you are currently. believing you may be able to "change" so that you're worthy of love also prevents despair/giving up. it's of utmost importance to the survival of very small children to develop a worldview that keeps them alive, even if it's by totally magical thinking and at the cost of their ability to perceive reality or navigate normal human relationships. the same thing can happen to adults in abusive domestic situations.

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

Shoutout to everybody with DID or OSDD who keeps going back to the DID/OSDD tumblr tags even though they know they rarely find anything relatable and will only get triggered and end up yelling “That’s not how any of this works!” at their screen. 

i wish people could focus more on the racism that is very present in the system community. i feel very unsafe in the community sometimes because of it

It is not okay for your parent to say “I guess I’m just the worst mom/dad” when you express that you’re upset or hurt by something they said or did.

LISTEN UP MOTHER FUCKERS

two notable things about Wolfram: