mrrrp?

making plans to visit & stay with my best friend after they have surgery to help them around the house for a bit but i probably need to stop referring to it as “me and bestie playing Misery”

marijuana and ibuprofen are a pair of gay angels with a very powerful message

THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE LEFT THE 🏴‍☠️Pirate's Treasure🪎 AT THE CLUB?!?!?!

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

that's a cat ✅️

I love following people who post abt pro wrestling bc they'll share gifsets of two dudes just straight up having gay sex in the ring and then the camera pans out on a cheering crowd of like 500 people

was scared out of my mind for two weeks over something that I ended up doing with ease. many such cases.

It even crashes like a car in a ps2 game

rpf is like 65% the most fun you've ever had and 35% the worst pain imaginable and a lot of the time you're feeling these simultaneously