✨wasting my life on this hellsite since 2013✨

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

I keep fucking coming back to this video and not being able to get over how the combination of the tits out look with that hat makes me feel like buddy is essentially dressed like some sort of racy lawn gnome

official boob post

vampires bite your neck because it's sexy but also so you don't see their faces when they're biting you and start laughing hysterically

shoutout to everyone who’s also dealing with the longest year of a week this week

Every january goth couples are fucking hard to try and have a halloween baby they're gonna name ophelia or some shit

I’m a Halloween baby but my parents are normal so I’m Garrett

Hi garrett

happy birthday garrett

sore throats might be the stupidest response to illness i've ever experienced. oh you want to eat? drink?? breathe air??? TEN THOUSAND KNIVES ATTACK