look_In_Abyss

A: Look at this chain holding me whole. Look at how it leads me, how it drags me forward no matter how I resist. I have bled and still bleed all over the path I've walked, all because I dared to fight against it, to claim my freedom. The freedom that you have... to wander wherever you wish, however you wish.

But tell me, do your eyes even see what I've become? Do they? This so-called freedom of yours... it curls and echoes in my ears.

B: Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!

How godlike you sound! As if you're the only cursed god here. As if you bear the burden of some divine tragedy. How pitiful.

Look at you! Look at what! those chains you despise so much! You call them your prison, at least they lead you somewhere.

Look around me. Do you see this endless landscape? Do you see the horizon, the edge? I've chased every edge I could reach, every shimmering ending. But there is no end here. No final destination. Only this immortal freedom that devours me. You... at least your chains give you a path to walk on. You can surrender at any time, collapse, give up and still, there would be something to hold you.

I wish I had never chosen this path. I sacrificed everything for this. All my worth... traded away for this worthless, formless freedom.

There is no insight on my path. No sign of where I'll end up next. Not even alcohol can dull this hollow uncertainty.

A: So... you envy my chains? You speak as they are a blessing. But you know nothing of the weight they bear.

Every step... I take is decided for me. Every breath, every thought dictated. You talk of endless horizons and the madness of freedom. But at least you chose your path. I never chose these chains. They were forced upon me before I even knew what it meant to choose.

You say I can surrender at any moment still end up in some future. You envy of my destiny prize not of this path that I'm walking on.

You think your freedom is worthless, that it devours you? At least it is yours. Mine is a march into someone else's design, someone else's dream of what I should be.

B: Just lie down and let the chain tear your flesh apart. If You can bear the own choice's pain. You can choose nothingness. Even surrender is a choice.

I, on the other hand... I walk forever... the moment I think I've found a purpose, it dissolves in thin air.

At least your pain has a shape. A name. A source. Mine is a shapeless fog, swallowing every spark of meaning before it can even become a flame.

I had just finished giving all of me to the exam.

Standing on the bus-stand, cozy ambiance of the evening enveloped me.

Not too long after, i see the bus already infront of me.

I stepped in, seeking a moment of solace.

Take a seat to head towards my destination,

surrounded by the gentle hum of the engine synchronised with background melody.

Sun begins to set and the day comes to a close,

The dimly-lit interior of the bus casts a tranquil glow,

Despite the weariness of my day,

I look at the serene beauty of the night outside the window,

the hustle and bustle of the world outside that I've missed.

and streetlights casting an amber hue, the tranquil delight architecture glimmers,

As the bus reaches a great speed,

the world outside the window begins to slow.

Faces blur and voices fade,

In this mystical place, it's like transient parade.

Each stop looks like a chance to venture to parts unshown,

And I'm thinking what's around the next bend.

As the world outside flows like a stream,

I am traversing the enigmatic, a ever-changing moor.

But time ticks on, and the rides end.

I sit here in the dark,

staring at the ceiling,

waiting for the end.

I've accepted that my time on earth is up,

and I'm ready to go.

I have no dreams left to chase,

No ambitions left to fulfill.

All I have left is this empty feeling

and the knowledge that tomorrow may/have to be my last day alive.

But at least it will all be over soon.

I promise it to be

most beautiful sunset You've ever seen...

Cause we can't escape ugliness of this word,

we all been born cursed but only I embraced mine's.

It's a feeling like you're being pulled in too many directions at once? Like your mind is stretched thin, scattered across multiple places and unable to focus on any one thing? Like someone qouted to me "Sometimes I feel scattered across too I many places. My mind is everywhere and nowhere at all. It's just fractures of endless thoughts and emotions."

It's a disorienting feeling, like you're trapped in a maze which is endless due to no way out or it is endless. Your mind flits from one idea to the next, never able to settle on any one thing, and leaving you feeling both drained and restless.

It's like your thoughts and emotions are fractured, shattered into countless pieces and You try to make sense of it all, but the more you try to focus, the more everything seems to slip away from you, further and further into a dark abyss of your own making.

And yet, even in the midst of this chaos, there's a strange sense of peace. It's the peace of surrender, and trusting that everything will eventually fall into place.

In the shadows of dusk,

Amidst the cacophony of life.

With each step,

Drifting on the winds of fate.

I find myself at the crossroads of destiny.

Through the misty veil of uncertainty,

I glimpse the promise of tomorrow.

to find the clarity to navigate the unknown.

It's an experience of the enchantment of getting lost in a book, where the pages seem to be a portal. The sensation of becoming so engrossed in a story that the world blurs away, and you are enveloped. It's as if you are wrapped in a serene, peaceful bubble, where time slows down, and nothing else matters except the words on the page.

And when you emerge, you may find yourself walking through public places, yet feeling disconnected from reality. It's like you're observing the world around you, but not really being a part of it. It's a moment of serene solitude, where the story you just read echoes within you, and you are lost in thought, pondering the depths of the human experience.

In those moments, you may feel a sense of peace, as if you've been given a moment of respite from the chaotic pace of life.

And as you walk on, surrounded by the noise and bustle of the world around you, you can't shake off the feeling that something malevolent that has taken root inside your mind. You try to shake it off, but it only grows stronger, until you can no longer tell where the book ends and reality begins.

Life is a wondrous thing, if viewed through eyes that feel,

The world around us have word description, a symphony so real.

The colors burst with vibrancy, the sounds all come alive,

And every single moment, a treasure to revive.

The gentle sunshine, the breeze upon face,

The scent of blooming flowers, a moment to embrace.

The laughter of a loved one, the warmth of a sunset, a moment to retrace.

Life is a canvas,

every time i bend my brush to immortalize her wonder,

i bend my world in a unified act of unspoken prayer.

And though it may be tough at times, and troubles may arise,

The beauty of this life is seen, through our eyes.

A shard of the dream falls from my hand

In order to find the lost answer, i start to run

Through a labyrinth of thoughts, down a path unknown

But as I chase the fading remnants, they only seem to grow

Further away, like a mirage in the desert sand

I yearn to capture the truth, that so desperately calls

For a glimpse of the past, a moment to understand

But the shard of my dream, is all that remains in my hand.

I do,

Look up, and gaze upon the art,

How peaceful it smell,

And filled with wonder.

It never look like just a mere blue dome to me,

With each different shades stroke, it bring old memories,

Even it doesn't related to the colour.

It stillness speaks louder than my surroundings.

The clouds glide above me as if I were underwater,

gazing up at a school of fish swimming without purpose.

It fragment aroma, remind me of nature's grace,

And there a unknowingly smile on my face.

For sky, it may be sight to be hold,

But for me its everything on that moment.

I was there,

In the shadows of life, where I roamed,

A silent observer, in the world's grand affair,

But nobody witness me, my presence was unknown,

So I really don't know, my worth or fate.

For from my beginning, I only know that existence,

Is created by people who witness us, with their mere existence,

So I truly don't know if I exist,

Or if I am just a figment of their twist,

A mere creation of their mind,

Existing only in their eyes to find

And without their gaze, without their touch,

I am but a shadow, a whisper, a non-entity, too much.

But still, I am there, in the moments in between,

In the quiet stillness, when all is serene,

From my beginning, I have come to realize,

That our existence is shaped by the eyes that recognize.

You’ve still got to enjoy it as much as you can,

I feel like an invisible

No...- Nobody can see me,

if i get hurt,

Put myself in folder,

to see how much I can suffer

Do not fear. For fear shall not save you. I feared becoming this "thing." Yet it did not save me. Salvation stretches forth her hand for the taking. But it doesn't reach you. Yours shines in the dark, Yet mine is still cast in shadow. I killed monk, nor stole, Yet the greatest evil committed Was not becoming the hero i were meant to be.Lastly, I always hate the freedom. I just want the illusion of it.