i am 100% not poisoned with asbestos

had a dream that i brought a used paper towel roll back to the store to pay for it again because it was so useful. cashier was like "most people don't do this. you're a good person" true

my general opinion on what people should be "allowed" to portray and what topics they should be "allowed" to explore in fiction is that you can make whatever art with whatever themes you want but i'm also allowed to think the way you handled it was tasteless and should've been done differently. my negative opinion on your handling of sensitive topics is the price of admission for publicly showcasing your work. this is not a pro-censorship stance because i am not The Government

Seeing my friend Face Fuck Frank today

All my haters become negotiators when they face my hostage situation of success

what country has the coolest dogs and why is it china

We are monitoring the situation

I love wikipedia but sometimes you go on it and it's like "mortadella is created through the chorizodization of the piperaceae" *clicks hyperlink* "chorizodization is a process where piperaceae or pistacia become amatricized when exposed to murtatum" *clicks hyperlink* "amatricization is a method of bolognafying that uses myrtatum or murtatum instead of farcimen" *clicks hyperlink* " 'Bolognafying redirects here' Salumification is an umbrella term for several forms of chorizadization including amatricizing, bolognafying, and bresaolafication"

Microsoft windows is always like oh yeah, we closed all your programs and restarted your computer while you were asleep. but don't fret ☝️we installed some spyware as a gift 😃

applying papier mache to the homie who fell asleep on the floor during the party and then using it as a mold to make a 1-to-1 perfect silicone sculpture of him which we place on the floor and gently interlace with him so it looks like he is sleeping restfully with the yin yang of his own somnolent form lol