hey so i had rumplemintz last night for the first time and woke up in my own bed completely naked using my
purse as a pillow don’t remember how i got here but hallelujah
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hey so i had rumplemintz last night for the first time and woke up in my own bed completely naked using my
purse as a pillow don’t remember how i got here but hallelujah

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you deserve to have ur ass ate and a ton of roses for the masterpieces that you post
✏️✏️✏️✏️ rhys/eliana, nene, dammon/nerissa, daero/clare back at you!
Eliana: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page. Eliana: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”. Rhys: That’s not even clever.
Rhys: Are you good? Eliana: In what sense? Rhys: Generally. Eliana: Oh, definitely not.
Nerissa: How would you like to live forever? Nedani: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
Nedani: Hey Nerissa, can you give me the opposite of these words? Nedani: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Nerissa: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Nerissa: The fucking satisfaction.
Nerissa: Screw you! Dammon: I'll have to check with my significant other, but I'll get back to you.
Nerissa: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Dammon: Hi, I’m ‘things’.
Kidnapper: I have your partner. Daero: What? I don't have a partner... Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? Daero: Oh my god, you have Clare.
Daero: I can't imagine what Clare is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.
Clare: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Daero.
I know Colleen’s Karen ass is blowing up someone’s email about the steadily growing Gay Baker flanderizaton of her son and I don’t blame her
unfortunately i fear she also found it funny and was prolly glad there wasn’t like… the wm spin celly in there
Me ranting about the game to my mother
My mother typing on her computer
'Is messi autistic?'

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That Michael Scott quote where he says “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” hits hard when I realize all my crushes are cuffed up
I've made a grave error.
Yesterday I got so excited for my day off today that I ate a bunch of junk food, cause I knew I'd be home all day and it wouldn't matter if my tummy was all fucked from it.
And then I picked up a shift for this morning.
I swear to everything, if I shit myself when a dog jumps up on me I'm ending it all 😭😭😭😭