Switch it Up

I feel sad. I feel like I'm going to have to cut my mom off because she's one of those parents who will continually question their grown child's decisions. It's become so tiresome.

I've already been distancing myself from her over the past month and I feel as though I might as well continue to do so.

So it's coming up on almost a year since I had my myomectomy. The year has FLOWN BY. I feel like there's 5 years in one pandemic year. 🥴

I'm feeling grateful overall to be where I am this year. I'm really happy I left the stressful as job with the state and now I'm making the most and doing the least amount of work I ever had with a job.

I'm also really grateful for my husband. I feel like our bond has become so much stronger over the last couple years. He really took care of me after my surgery. Helped me shower, was my chauffeur, had to help me tie my shoes even...he was really there. Then he had surgery in January and I got to return the favor.

-being tired all the time

-health anxiety - like really, am I hypochondriac or what?

-Feeling overwhelmed with work

-infertility: keeping up with the appointments, not knowing if we may be able to conceive naturally, the procedure my husband may have to undergo. Healing from my own myomectomy. I'm worried about my fibroid growing back. I'm worried about the financial aspect of all of this.

Here's what I need to pat myself on the back with:

1. I went to the eye doctor which is so important being diabetic. My vision hasn't changed and my eyes are great.

2. I went to the dentist for the first time in nearly 3 years and my teeth weren't terrible! Just a small cavity. It was good to hear the "your teeth are beautiful" and you have a "beautiful smile" "wow you must really take great care of your teeth" even though they probably tell everyone that lol 😆

3. I'm seeing a therapist and working on cognitive behavior therapy. I'm going to start Journaling here and tracking negative thoughts.

I want to do a 60 day challenge to take care of myself. Honestly, the pandemic has had me in the biggest funk of my life. I've been working from home over a year and really skipping the basics in my daily routine. It takes anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months to form new habits, so here's my challenge:

1. Take all medicines on time! 💊

2. Brush teeth at least 2x a day! And floss! 🦷😬

3. Cleanse and moisturize my face daily! 🧴

4. Exfoliate whole body at least once a week 🛀🏾🚿

5. Get on the treadmill 🏃🏽‍♀️👟 at least 15 mins a day! Strength training at least 30 mins, 3x a week. 🏋🏾‍♀️

It reads like such a basic list and I'm embarrassed I haven't been doing the basics all the time. I'm tired of sleeping all the time. I'm tired of being tired. I keep thinking to myself if I can't take care of myself, how am I going to take care of a little human.

Wish me luck! 🤞🏽

3/16 - met with an ob/gyn who could do the fibroid removal robotically

3/17 - doctor's office called to let me know I wouldn't have to wait until May for the surgery, but they could do it 3/24!!!

3/19 - during pre-op ultrasounds it's discovered it's not just one 9cm fibroid but 2 large clusters of fibroids spilling into my abdomen

3/21 - tested negative for COVID

March - Went to a comedy show: LMAO hosted by Martin Lawrence

March - Visited Fort McCoy in Wisconsin to see my husband graduate from his leadership class

March - pandemic hit the States and started working from home

March - celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary

July - visited Sandals Montego Bay to celebrate hubby's birthday

September- visited Las Vegas, did a wreck room!

October- visited Excellence Playa Mujeres in Cancun

1. We went on cruise in January to Cozumel and the Cayman Islands ⛱🌞🛳

2. I started a new job after loathing my previous one

3. Visited Minneapolis! NBA game Timberwolves vs. Knicks, and visited The Mall of America 🏀

4. We bought our first house 🏡

5. My husband completed his bachelor's degree 🎓

6. I received a promotion in August 💲🤑💰

7. I did 12 sessions with a personal trainer and got so much more comfortable with working out 🤸🏾‍♀️🏋🏾‍♀️

8. I celebrated turning 30 YEARS OLD by visiting the West Coast for the first time! Santa Monica Pier, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, attended the 49ers Vs Panthers game (my hubby's bucket list), and went to a Lizzo Concert

9. Seen Fantasia, Robin Thicke, The Bonfyre, and Tank live 🎤🎶

10. Christmas cruise to Cozumel, Honduras, Costa Maya, and Belize! 🛳

11. I started 2019 out weighting 245 lbs, lowest weight I got down to was 211.2 lbs, and as of today after a week of cruising, I weighed in at 218.6. But I'm for real getting on that starting this week.

So I thought it would be a really dry psychiatrist but he was really personable and funny! I passed the evaluation and I got some great takeaways:

1) I'm going to start a food journal by taking pictures of everything I eat instead of actually writing down everything. I also have to start prepping my meals so I don't go off the rails because I didn't have a plan.

2) I've got to change my relationship with food. Currently, I'm in love with bread and pasta, and those things just do NOT love me back. So I have to cut them loose... After the holidays though because I'm still eating Thanksgiving this year 🙈

The class went well. I'm maintaining my body weight. We learned a lot about the protein & how much we need after surgery. After the duodenal switch, they recommend 80 to 120g. 😫

My to-do list is coming along though! Here's what I want to get finished before vacation in January.

-2 health education classes

-sleep study

I've literally been doing "internet research" for the past 3 hours instead of sleeping. 😩

My internet search history be like:

+ pregnancy after weight loss surgery vs pregnancy as a type 2 diabetic (found a pretty interesting article about there being less complications during pregnancy for bariatric patients than obese patients)

+ should I have a duodenal switch or gastric sleeve (everything I find says ds will be better for my comorbidities)

+ percentage of bariatric patients who experience hair loss after surgery (30 to 40% experience hair loss 😩😩😩 )

+ wls regrets (still in progress)