this is my life today

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.

I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.

My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”

i love this website every time i think its past its prime and all its funniest moments have already happened someone goes and successfully gaslights half a million people about a disney franchise. oldest trick in the tumblr book. 2012 revival era

Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard

I wish all the pee came out in one go like a shotgun blast

some of y’all will be like “yeah i support autistic people” and then go bully the weird kid at school

or talk about how you think the awkward guy at work is a serial killer or how the strange girl who lives near you isn’t “all the way there” or is too obsessive or stalker-like. we see that shit and we know what you’re doing. you say you’re an ally but you’re not an ally when it matters

Male version of the cottagecore fantasies