what if i never find love? romantic love, i mean. i feel love in other places, in friendships and family. but what if i don’t find someone that loves me. sometimes i think of all of the almosts, the people i thought i could love but then leave anyways. they always leave. i’m always being left. maybe i’m meant to be left, maybe maybe maybe i’m not meant to find love but to be love for the people i care about

the older i get the more i find solace in the things i liked at 16. tumblr, the arctic monkeys, trying to be different and cool but realizing you’re the same as everyone else. sometimes it feels like i haven’t really grown at all, and sometimes the past feels so far away from me. i worry that ill stay stagnant, that i wont progress or change or be happy. i feel and i feel and i feel but what if im not feeling the right things? i think im the guiltiest feeling person i’ve ever met. i can feel all of the emotions around me and my heart never gets any rest. i’m so tired