One of the things that has always disappointed me is the way elia is treated and I'm not talking about her haters but about those who say they love both characters or defend them both.
I've always been puzzled by the fact that most of the arguments used to defend lyanna revolve around hypothetical scenarios perhaps she was exploited kidnapped or raped especially the last possibility. I've never understood how empathy for a character can be built so heavily on possibilities that may or may not be true while another character whom we know for certain suffered similar or even worse horrors doesn't receive the same level of analysis or sympathy.
When elia is mentioned the conversation often focuses solely on the murder of her two children as if the rest of her tragedy is of little importance.
"Oh dear, poor lyanna was far from home." Yes and so was elia. "lyanna may have been a hostage." elia however was indeed a hostage. "poor thing she couldn't raise jon." But elia not only lost the chance to raise her two children she also witnessed their murder. "i hate rhaegar for hurting lyanna." although we don't know for certain everything that transpired between rhaegar and lyanna we do know that rhaegar publicly humiliated elia abandoning her as his wife and the mother of his children. We also know that the man he knighted gregor clegane was the same man who raped and then brutally murdered elia.
In the end lyanna died holding her brother's hand reassured that her child would be safe. elia witnessed her children's murder then was raped and killed. Her body was mutilated and she and her children were wrapped in lannister cloaks.
Therefore I find it strange that so much effort is made to imagine lyanna's suffering while elia's suffering even though it is clearly documented in the books is completely ignored.
