i loved the newest episode!! so many good things; LO:RE is literally enrichment for me. but it reminded me to ask you something I've been meaning to ask: what is emotional cheating? I think i've seen you describe kore and hades's relationship as such, but as someone who is very very aroace, it's hard for me to figure out exactly what it is.
So emotional cheating is, to put it at its simplest, cheating with your heart. It's emotionally involving yourself with another person on the same level you would with a romantic partner.
You might not be explicitly asking someone else who's not your partner on a date or giving them roses or having sex with them, but you're still giving them attention that you would normally be investing into your partner and not someone else. The emotional investment is the big part of it, how much you're dedicating parts of your life and self to someone who isn't your partner and would normally share in those things.
It's often far more damaging and sneakier than having an outright affair, because in many cases, the person who is the 'subject' of the emotional affair isn't even aware that it's happening (and unlike a one night stand, emotional affairs are predicated on deep emotional investment, which takes time and attention to build).
While there are many people who get involved in sexual affairs who don't know that it's an affair (as many cheaters won't tell their targets that they're married / taken) they at least still know they're having sex and are attracted to the person they're having sex with. But in the case of an emotional affair, the target may not even have a clue that the cheater is pursuing them or, at the very least, investing energy into them that they should be investing into their actual relationship.
Of course, emotional affairs look and feel different to everyone, but I'm gonna rattle off some general (and extremely common) examples, while using panels from LO as visual guides. Some of these examples include:
Not being honest about your relationship status with your emotional affair target
Consistently ignoring and/or dismissing long-time partner's boundaries and needs while respecting and meeting all the needs of your emotional affair target without question
Obsessing over the other person just to satiate a crush, often overstepping boundaries and robbing them of their security and autonomy
Constantly wanting to act on personal fantasies regarding the other person
Affording your target certain privileges and luxuries that you wouldn't give anyone else (including your own adopted son and presumably your partner)
Expressing affection in ways that they would normally do for their partner but are now doing for someone else (ex. giving them gifts, buying them dinner, spending personal time with them, etc.)
Making plans about all the things they want to do with / to that person even when that person isn't in an active relationship with them
Changing little things about your life to suit the fantasy of being with the other person
Fearing your target's perception of you more than you'd consider your partner's perception of you
Confiding in the other person for emotional support instead of doing so with your partner (often kept secret from your partner)
Being overly protective of your target and treating their problems as your own to deal with
Talking shit about your current partner behind their back (and/or letting other people talk shit about them to your face)
But most damning of all, if your own brother tells you you're participating in an emotional affair, that's a pretty good sign that you are ππ
Beyond that, when your own target admits to also flirting with you knowing fully well you're in a relationship, that's an ACTIVE TWO-PARTY EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.
There are many, MANY more examples from LO (and also even LR!) I could include, but those are some of the most damning and straightforward examples that I could find at 2 AM while drafting this post LOL
Emotional cheating is definitely complex, but it's not without its victims, the betrayed partner most of all. Cheating in every shape and form (emotional and sexual) is ultimately about exerting control and power, not fulfilling unmet needs.
Regardless of how unstable your relationship might be (such as Hades' and Minthe's) you at least owe your partner the respect and dignity of breaking off the relationship as soon as you're no longer invested in it, rather than staying in it while pursuing someone else. Especially if that someone else isn't even aware that you're pursuing them.
I hope that helps answer your question, fellow ace pal! (; Ο ; )γΎ(Β΄β`* )
