Wake me up before you Jojo

Why does our dear Koichi wear a green school uniform when Josuke and Okuyasu wear dark blue even though they are in the same year and class????

NEWSFLASH

Giorno- “Talk to mother nature, I don’t know”

Mista- “Hey demons! Meet my little friend... GLOCK”

Bruno- “Every single one of you (except me) needs to talk about your feelings”

Abba- “Hoover struggles with depression, as do I”

Fugo- *with a plastic ruler* “I will sharpen this to a point and STAB you with it”

Josuke- “Unlike you all, I tiktok dance towards my problems”

Okuyasu- “I had a dream that cookies had 0 calories, and I woke up, and it’s not true. Or at least, the good ones aren’t, and I cried”

Koichi- “I’m gonna cry myself to sleep, hey!”

Rohan- “I would be a great set designer. I want a polar bear rug right here. But vegan, because we love the earth, periodt. And then a picture of a lady undressing in the back here but classy, because like. Classy”

Reimi- “I might have died in 1802, but I’ll always be here for you”

God if I could I’d match you with me... just kidding... unless

We match you with...

BRUNO

Bruno’s not the type of guy to judge based on appearances alone, so your awkward nature and resting bitch face are nothing to worry about

He’s also not the kind of guy that says “You’d look prettier if you smiled”, in fact he loves your resting bitch face

It’s because combined you two look like the most judgemental couple from afar, but in reality both of you are a lot softer than you appear

Most of the time you two are together, it’s simply the both of you being happy to be around each other

As Bruno is also quite quiet (unless the situation calls for him to not be) he learns how to read your body language so you don’t have to verbally communicate if today was a bad day at work or if your feeling socially exhausted 

He’s used to his very *expressive* friends, so the stark contrast between hanging out with his gang and with you is jarring at first

He later learns to love the stark contrast

But the one thing that connects the two major aspects of his life is the humor

He absolutely loves your jokes, even if they don’t land, the faces you make and your gestures make up for the lack of delivery

When he decides to introduce you to Passione, it is both wonderful and a shit show

At first, it’s quite awkward as both parties don’t know what to say + all you have in common is Bruno

But once you start to feel comfortable with the gang and let a few jokes slip, it’s over

Narancia is your new best friend, constantly falling over laughing at your jokes

-You and Bruno adopt Narancia-

When you do need to explicitly express emotion and write it down, Bruno is 110% there for it

He’s always there to help you through anything life throws your way

Bruno also tries to keep some of the letters/notes you write because seeing your handwriting will always remind him of you and sometimes he needs that when he’s on tough missions

Jotaro- “Silence, Boomer! I didn’t like that”

Kakyoin- “Actually guys, the mask of the red death takes place in post-apocalyptic mars and Poe was just really ahead of his time”

Oldseph- “Wow all of you are in precalculus? What a bunch of nerds”

Avdol- “I don’t hip, I don’t hop, I lay down and have panic attacks”

Polnareff- “And sometimes they go to 69, hon hon hon”

DIO- “Hang on I’m playing God”

Joseph- “Every crackhead thing I’ve ever said has been in preparation for this moment”

Caesar- “Could you stop you little WEIRDO”

Lisa Lisa- “Um, actually... you conjugated ‘bitch’ wrong”

Stroheim- “I cannot vouch for the political correctness of this game, but I can vouch for the fun”

Esidisi- “I am the god of DESTRUCTION and CHAOS and kinda sweaty :(”

Kars- “Don’t give up! STAB the chicken”

Wammu- “I am allergic to cowardice and weak-willed men”

Or things I’ve said, I don’t know, I have an archive and I’m not going to,,,, not use them This is also gonna be a multi-parter, because I’m making ones for all the parts that have been animated so far 👀 👀

Jonathan- “Even if my teacher gives me a C, I’ll still feel great because my parents like it, and I crave their support more than I do an A”

Speedwagon-  “I almost got lost in the sauce ‘cuz I didn’t have you there. I was Mosesless in the middle of the Red Sea”

Will Zeppeli- “I will teach you many ways to end a life in this class”

Dio Brando- “Trying to help doesn’t get you anywhere in life, Jackie”

Bonus: Jack the Ripper- “I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and just thought: You know what’s good? Horse.”

ₒₒₒₒAlright I’m like--- in a state of disarray over this thing I am so ready because I’m an avid choir kid and ieao;fjdk The premise is school choir, and it’s a men’s division (feat. Jolyne), hence the severe lack of gals (for now???) 

BUT I might do an extra thing with all the jojos and jobros and some other supporting cast characters in a show choir together but that’s for a later time Or I might do headcanons for a rival choir of Jofoes haha just kidding...  ...unless? 

Jonathan

Such a stronk baritone, but such a middling tenor 

Like he’s doing his best but he needs some work for anything above a middle Db

But his timbre???? You know the singer for Sono Chi no Sadame??? Yeah take that timbre but like--- put it in a choir 

It BLOWS PEOPLE AWAY 

Easily one of the most powerful voices in the whole ensemble 

He just wants to be a tenor though, so he can do like 

Tenor descants 

But alas, that is not for him (yet) 

He is laser-focused during class and sometimes does the annoying thing where he just doesn’t sing unless he can get the phrase perfectly in pitch and in rhythm, but we love him anyway 

He does not try for solos often, and usually needs to be coaxed by everyone else into trying out 

Joseph

I don’t know if anyone reading this is a choir kid, but in the boys section I’ve exclusively experienced boys who take it too seriously and the boys who don’t take it seriously at all 

Not to say that he doesn’t pay attention when he needs to, he just happens to also do the most purposeful voice-cracking in the whole choir for the laughs 

“Hey, can we do All Star for the concert”  

He’s a baritone, but when he’s having a great day, he can be a great bass 

He speaks at a higher register than he sings, and when you hear the difference back to back, it’s a little freaky 

Pleads for a rock song for miscellaneous concerts, because he wants to try belting

He’s that kind of dude who just stands alone in a practice room and tries to belt Jesus Christ Superstar and EVERYONE outside can definitely hear him 

During rehearsal, he is very convinced that he has the right notes

Even when he doesn’t 

He never asks questions, even when he should, and then right as everyone is going through a phrase, you can see his facial expression turn from 100% pure confidence to 100% pure confusion 

Jotaro

Literally no one expected him to be in something as dorky as choir 

But he is the silent bass that holds everyone together 

Like you don’t realize he’s singing until he’s not at rehearsal 

And everyone’s like “Hey, where’s the comforting chesty buzz of our lowest bass”  

He’s probably capable of hitting higher notes, but frankly, he doesn’t want to 

He’s very comfortable right where he is 

Which is 3 ledger lines below the bass clef staff 

He’s one of the pillars that holds the ensemble up, so he can’t really try out for solos often 

You don’t want to leave Joseph to his own devices as a Bass, after all 

Quickly going into some musical stuff: Have you ever heard Norm Lewis play Javert in Les Mis? In the first 10 seconds of this one moment, he hits a note lower than my self esteem and I feel like that sums up how Jotaro’s range has that chesty buzz, ya feel? 

Josuke

Meet the tenor, ladies and gentlemen 

On a very very good day, he can hit the E on the treble staff, he is a ten or 

But at the same time, he has this nice... deep and smoky timbre 

All the ladies love it 

Because he’s deeper than your average boy band member

but higher than Jonathan 

He is a RIFFING MACHINE 

We’re talking some grade A, Bruno Mars on crack kind of riffing 

Even in places where he doesn’t need to be riffing 

He out there like “Hallelᵘᵘᵘuuuuᵤᵤᵤᵤjah,,,, Juᵘᵘuᵤᵤuᵘbilate deoooₒₒₒₒ” but he’s a poppin’ soloist-- if you hear him pre-rehearsal just out there riffing, you’ve heard heaven condensed into a collection of soundwaves-- Pucci is quaking 

Giorno

Poor 15 year olds get the short end of the stick 

He’s a cambiata, somewhere kinda in-between a boy-soprano and an actual tenor 

But he’s flexing out here with tenor descants 

He’s the only person who listens to sample recordings given out by the director, ngl 

He’s so good at ye olde Latin pieces because his diction is on point 

And I mean... Italian is his bread and butter

But also because Latin pieces like to actively torture tenors and Giorno is just ready to flex with his ability to hit them high notes 

Unfortunately though, he’s not ready for the truck that is about to hit him vocally, and no one has the heart to tell him that his crazy range won’t last much longer 

He voice cracked one (1) time during rehearsal and almost had a crisis 

“THIS IS IT, IT’S OVER FOR ME” 

Jolyne

With almost-boy-soprano Giorno and kinda husky-sounding Josuke, there had to be a blending buffer there 

If Giorno and Josuke stood next to each other during rehearsal (and God forbid-- the concert??), it would be an absolute disaster of completely different competing tones of voice 

So the big compromise was our blending gal, Jolyne 

She’s an alto/mezzo, but can hit most tenor notes, so she just deals with it 

There are points in which the tenor part just drops down a little much and she just stares at the the director 

“You’re really gonna make me attempt this, huh” 

She’s the person who brings her phone with her onto the risers and lowkey falls asleep during rehearsal

But somehow miraculously picks up her part at an alarming rate, and it scares the rest of the choir to this day 

Everyone has theorized that she has perfect pitch, but really, who knows? 

You’d never see any of the boys able to pull that off, I’m telling you that 

[2/3] I listen to all kinds of music except country (alternative rock is my fav kind of music). I like to sing and do so when no one is around. I love stuffed animals and cuddle with one every night because it helps me sleep. I prefer drinking tea over coffee, especially if it’s earl grey.

[3/3] Sushi is one of my favorite foods, though I’ll admit I like a lot of seafood. I’m also the kind who likes to cuddle but too shy to ask! I also try and comfort those who feel down because it makes me sad when someone else is sad :( If this gets answered I hope it’s not too much! Thank you!

We match you with...

FORMAGGIO

He's definitely the most relaxed out of the group so it was rather easy to get to know him

He was very open about who he is and what he stands for (of course throwing in a few jokes along the way). Due to this you never felt as if you guys ever had any communication issues.

Plus mixed with your kind and comforting nature he never felt as if he had to hide anything from you

Overall y'all are a fucking emotional power couple

He's the kind of dude who notices that you love to cuddle but too shy to ask

So he asks

He has no shame, he loves cuddles

Of course all of your stuffed animals are invited and if anyone makes fun of them Formaggio will go the fuck off

Okay he might be a little jealous of the stuffed animals, but at least he has a cute pout

Halloween with La Squadra is… special

I mean their leader is already a clown 24/7

Formaggio will go for a minimal effort costume, nothing scary, most likely a pair of mouse ears and drawn on whiskers

"Get it cause my name means cheese!"

Music! At first he didn't think you'd be the type to like any type of rock music but he was pleasantly surprised when you said Alt Rock was your favourite genre

You guys recommend one another different music and new bands

Formaggio loves that you like most genres as he never has to tiptoe around different genres or guess whether you're a fan of something or absolutely hate it

Sushi dates are a must! He loves being around someone who isn't in La Squadra because it reminds him that he does in fact have a life outside of being an assassin

Plus they always reject his invitation to do something normal

Which is why he loves going on dates with you

Going out to get sushi, going to concerts, just strolling in the city talking about anything and everything

In addition to you guys being an emotional power couple, y'all are the funniest couple the world has ever seen

It's less of a competition to see who can get the other to laugh harder and more of you guys just loving to see the other laugh

Sometimes you guys are so in sync that you can make each other's jokes 10x funnier

We have a lot of them to catch up on, please give us some time! We’re still open to accept headcanons and scenario requests as per usual, but we will not be accepting matchup asks until further notice, thanks!

Sleepy 👏 Fugo 👏

Let the cheese/strawberry man be soft for a just a minute please 

Like,,, just taking a nap on top of an open book, and you put a blanket over his shoulders so he can finally get some sleep

Or a notebook, where you can see his handwriting start to trail off into a bunch of unintelligible scribbles 

That’s my aesthetic right there 

Alternatively, he’s starting to nod off while looking out a window

See also: Fugo 👏 yawns 👏

We match you with… 

KAKYOIN!

ENTJ? INTP? It’s a natural fit, as both of you can rely upon shared intuitions

So you’re on the same wavelength a lot of the time 

The two of you often bond over the arts, and while you spend a good amount of time gushing over each other’s styles, you also give each other really good critiques 

Three words: Video. Game. Competitions. 

I don’t know what types of video games you’re into, anon, but imagine the most intense 

While you may be loud and ready to fight, Kak would be eerily quiet 

And you can’t pretend that doesn’t get to you at least a little  

He’s always wanted to pick up more languages, and he’s absolutely fascinated by your skill in three of them 

You teach him new phrases every day, be it slang, untranslatable words, or even just tease him with absolute nonsense 

And he’s absolutely smitten with your voice 

He loves to hear you sing, even in passing

And he finds it adorable when you just hum in public 

Uhhhhh yes, you may, partner!  🌽 🌽 🌽

He gets this sense of solace when he comes to visit the family farm, just by nature of it being so open

One of your favourite pastimes together is just sitting on the back porch just looking out towards endless fields

Also!! Food!! Jotaro loves his mom’s cooking, but a close second is food that’s made from ingredients fresh from the farm 

He also seemed averse to helping around at first, but you persuaded him 

And surprisingly, he’s come to enjoy it, and it’s helped him appreciate the value of a hard day’s work 

You love going on farmer’s market dates??? 

Aside from helping with the booth, it’s really fun for the two of you to take a stroll through the market, trying out new things 

You two actually met at a farmer’s market 

He didn’t know where he was going and he knew that Holly would be in a tizzy if he didn’t invest some effort into trying to reunite with her 

So he latched himself to your booth in the most awkward 10 minutes ever, until you started chatting 

(Eventually, Holly did make her way back to the booth, but not without having bought a billion things) 

Mobea(2/2)Big on that workaholic thing, I always need to be doing something to get tasks done, improve myself/my surroundings. Art-crafts-and such directed person, working towards making something out of that. Also interested in history and biology At home I'm a feral hunched rat who dances out of the room if asked difficult questions, makes bird noises for fun and is most likely to be heard babytalking to my dogs. A way more proper and polite role in public, fear of standing out.

We match you with...

DIEGO BRANDO

At first glance he didn’t think much of you, but once you started talking

It was over for this man

He grew to love your more casual outfits as they are perfect for cuddles

Whenever you wear your hoodies, Diego goes into immediate cuddle mode

You guys take turns being the little and big spoon

Diego loves being the little spoon

If he can feel your muscles under your hoodie, it is double over for this man

HE IS DEAD

He also understands the need to be alone sometimes

He loves it when you are just alone together

During these moments he likes to watch you work

Sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it; he just loves to see how dedicated you are to your work

When you ramble about biology and history, he listens intently, hanging on to every fact, every side note, every story

Maybe it’s because he can turn into a dinosaur, but he does listen a little more closely whenever you mention reptiles 

He even tries to convince you that you guys should get a lizard

Of course, he doesn’t beg, but he subtly brings it up whenever he can

You finally gave inAt first you thought he might find it weird that you babytalk animals

But one night, when Diego thought you were asleep, you can faintly hear him cooing your pet lizard

Now the both of you spoil that lizard rotten

When you both are in public, he tends to speak for the both of you at times, but he only does it when he notices you are uncomfortable

Little by little, he tries to get you to talk more

He believes everyone should bear witness to your perfection

Yes, this man loves to show you off

It doesn’t matter when or where he will do anything to subtly brag about you and how you chose to be with him

He’s really just a dino babey hopelessly in love

Sorry for the late response! We’ve been really busy with school lately!

We match you with...

AVDOL!

Avdol is a man of very patient temperament, so he’s not going to be personally offended if you are being passive-aggressive for any reason 

MOM FRIEND????? Perfect 

Because it just so happens he is the ‘mildly concerned dad friend’, aka. the voice of reason 

So he really appreciates your preparedness in any situation 

He understands your sensitivities, and like,,,, doesn’t raise his voice at all in the first place, especially towards those he’s on good terms with 

He would love it if you crocheted literally anything for him!!!

Scarf?? Towel??? Dishcloth?????? Sign him up, a boi’s about to cry 

Same goes for anything you baked, not to mention-- if you ever expanded your horizons to cooking, he’s got you 

Magician’s Red is about to make your kitchen the next Tsukasa 

It’s gonna be a show 

You two are both pretty attentive people, I’d hazard to guess 

And because of that, if either of you were to share your past experiences with each other, great insight would come from either direction 

He’s actually really glad that you express your emotions frequently, because he has the emotional maturity to understand that expressing them does not hold a person back, and instead it helps you both communicate 

UN 👏 VOICED 👏 COMMUN 👏 ICATION 👏

Elaborating on that, the two of you have a deep understanding of each other’s emotions and can have a conversation through expressions uwu 

In actuality, the famed “Emerald Splash” isn’t actually made out of emeralds. It’s made up of various chemical compounds, including  CO2, H2O, C12H24O12, and NaC6H5CO2. The combination of such compounds is commonly known as “Mountain Dew”. 

When Kakyoin says “Emerald splash!” in the original Japanese text of the part 3 manga, he’s actually saying “壮大なゲーマーの動き!” It is truly untranslatable, but can roughly mean “epic gamer move.”

We match you with… 

MISTA!

The two of you met when you were both out on walks completely independent of each other, and it was a meeting so coincidental it must’ve been fate

And now, it’s actually your favourite pastime together, would you look at that

Walking at night especially 

Just feeling the cool breeze and taking a look at the evening sky is sometimes all you two need 

You both relish in the little things, especially in just talking to each other about nothing in particular 

Like the nerd he is, he continues to use pickup lines even after you’re together

For no other reason than to make you smile 

Or sometimes he just mixes lines up and you get golden moments like “Are you the Eiffel tower? Because I-- no... it’s Eiffel for you but... oh wait”  

Guess who just became a proud mom of 6? You did

Sex Pistols, though initially wary, eventually got used to your presence (if not a little demanding of it) 

You find it really fun to feed them lunch and it’s absolutely adorable 

Mista adores any colour you dye your hair, and is in absolute shock and awe when you go from one end of the colour wheel to another

You actually got him to dye his hair one (1) time, but no one can pinpoint when it happened except for you

Your positivity in spite of adversity and your general ability to keep your head high is a trait you have that he adores