I Believe The Hyperbole!

Tumblr play nice please! I’m only doing good I promise!

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got killed

Follow her! Now!!!

what they don’t tell you about online relationships is how easy it is to ruin them by simply having nothing to say. i like you so much but i don’t know how to hang out with you in silence. i don’t know how to text like a person so now you think i hate you. aaaaaaaaa

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one's just a phone

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

OP your phone is literally about to explode.

we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot

Oh god it's the shark post all over again, but this time OP COULD FUCKIN DIE OR BE MAIMED HORRIBLY

that's really not on the table

Hey, I’ve worked in IT longer than anyone else, and it’s totally fine to keep using your phone this way! This is because phones are not bombs so they can’t explode.

as someone who doesn't work in IT, I agree, which creates a consensus across the full spectrum of possible human experiences

My phone nearly exploded (the battery was so swollen I could see the inside of the phone.) you should get your phone looked at

But its a phone those don't explode

They do when the battery is swollen

you're thinking of bombs, easy mistake to make, but I addressed this earlier in the thread

OP do you have a will or any assets to even need one?

my will is frankly tremendous and I'd go as far as saying it's one of my strongest assets

I always love fanart of characters killing or otherwise hurting another version of themselves. Yes yes yes yes

It will get colder eventually dont even wooorry about a silly heat wave lol It will get so, so, so terribly cold And the blanket of snow will fall heavy until every thing is made still

let’s party

Lets seriously just let our hair down and have some fun

i want to let loose and act like tonight is forever

you have to respect someone's choice to remain cis. a choice that was made with no societal pressure and out of their own free will. i can't even keep this bit anymore. the point is that there's a massive societal pressure for everyone to stay cis and no one is forced to transition, that is simply not happening. every person who is questioning their gender knows that they will be punished by the patriarchy for doing it and they're doing it anyway. because it's what they want

when ever I start hearing the horns of the apocalypse I just say out loud to myself "the tumpet. bwaaa" and it makes me feel better every time

all the wired up combat dolls who get chemically molested by their handlers keep making fun of me because my mechs are all cheap shitboxes due to my habit of loading them with c4 and eject-ramming fools at mach speed, if any of the jerked-off-with-neurodes brigade tried half the shit I get away with theyd be bad-ended something fierce but I get results so the brass look the other way

american ronin grips his baseball bat tight and flicks his wrist. after a beat your head explodes off your neck into the atmosphere and the baseball homerun organ noise plays

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England