And Patton knows maybe this isn't normal to just feel flat
to know his room his a mess
to know there's breakfast dishes on the table and to not bother putting it away
and he knows there's messages on his phone to read and reply to from friends and family
and there's several group chats he's part of that he should check in with soon or else the ones he's not part of will fill with messages from worried friends and family
and usually he'd feel bad about worrying them but lately he can't do anything about it
and he sort of thinks that although his socks are soft and fluffy they're overwhelming so he sits down on the bed to take them off and
he thinks he should really write down what he's feeling in a diary like Logan suggested once, listing off all the benefits,
but he can't and he doesn't know where his favourite pillow is but that's fine who cares
and maybe he should ring Roman and talk or just listen to Roman talk because Roman offered to do that and Roman is nice
but oh his phone is just out of reach and he's not sitting up no way and anyway he'd be a bother
then he thinks he wishes he could go on YouTube for a while but his laptop is dead and his phone is too far
and now he's lying down and wondering if he should have let Virgil paint the ceiling like he'd offered to, with something cute or bright or both
because now he just stares at the white ceiling and it's boring but everything is kind of boring isn't it and he'd take off his glasses but that's so much effort he'd have to lift his arms and remove them and find his glasses case and anyway if they get broken what about it they're only glasses
and he thinks he hears a cat outside but he doesn't have a cat but the neighbors do and oh are the neighbors home already is it that late in the day or maybe the cat escaped
maybe he should check but maybe that'd be interfering and anyway he'd have to get out of bed and he was thinking of going for a nap anyway
and he wakes up again and it's dark and he thinks he's hungry so he pulls himself out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen and hates the sight of the dirty dishes but not enough to clean them
and he finds some crackers and gets some water and that's good for now isn't it don't want to eat heavy meals at whatever time it is it's dark it must be late maybe the middle of the night
but he looks at the clock and it's only 7pm but winter is like that isn't it
and he thinks oh well and he's not sure if it's Saturday or Sunday but if it's Sunday it'll be a week since he saw the others and someone will come check on him or maybe all of them will and
it would bother him but he doesn't care and
the tiles are cold under his bare feet and when did he take off his socks but not his glasses and he shrugs and drags himself upstairs
and lies down on his bed but does grab his phone this time and ignores the missed calls and messages and goes on Tumblr and half looks at some memes and pretends he isn't crying over some inspirational positivity posts
and now it's 2am how'd that happen and his battery is low so he rolls over and puts it back on charge and watches something on Netflix
he thinks it's a baking competition and he hopes the redhead wins and now he's finished the series and she didn't but the winner was nice too
and now it's getting bright
and he hears the birds and someone's ringing him but Patton doesn't have the energy for that and he doesn't care
maybe it's not normal but he takes off his glasses and he puts them on the nightstand and he takes a nap and
before he falls asleep he realises his toes are cold and he half wishes he had the energy to get some socks
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