True Life: I'm cute but mean

sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc

i don't have enough photos of you on my phone to make one your contact picture. we got the same tattoo completely by coincidence. why do you always get to be mario. i love the meals you cook. we live in different universes. you can stay at my house if you need. we have never been friends. you are more important to me than anyone on this earth

If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What is executive dysfunction? O.o

Yeah.  This.

sometimes there’s a Just Fucking Do It special move available but it depletes your entire power bar and the recharge speed is completely unpredictable

I click Do Thing and it loads to 78% and then stays that way for 3 days

For me it’s like a notification pops up saying “The dishes need doing. You have 4 seconds to comply. If you do not comply within the allotted time, “Do Dishes” feature will become unavailable for 3 weeks.” And if I don’t get up literally that instant and force myself to do the task, and wait even like 3-5 minutes, it becomes like when u open an un-dismissible window and accidentally click outside the box and your computer makes that chime noise to let you know that the option to click outside the box (do the dishes) doesn’t exist. And then I’m just laying there like “ding…ding……ding….” until 3 weeks has passed and I’m given another 4 seconds to seize the opportunity to do the dishes.

remember that members of congress have the blood of innocent people on their hands

They’re real people, meaning they should be held accountable individually and not hide behind either their position, party, or the system as a whole

boom

They’re real people, meaning they should be held accountable individually

Are you ever reading a super over long pretentious book and just think. Wow. This man. knows a lot of words. but concise. is not one of them.

I’m laughing so hard cause this is deadass what bees do 😂

Save them