Sunshine

No hate, I just wanted to put this out there.

I think I figured out why it is that the ‘happy ending’ doesn’t feel entirely earned to me. It’s in part because everyone we know and have grown to love in the universe has ceased to exist. It’s also in part because Crowley and Aziraphale don’t come to a true reconciliation and communicate their needs/pains from the argument of the previous season.

For me, though, it’s largely because although the ending is meant to be uplifting- whether you see it as Crowley and Azira getting together ad humans or in every universe or whatnot, it’s no longer earned. Stay with me, I don’t mean that they don’t deserve it. What I mean is that the cornerstone of what makes this kind of fiction inspiring and meaningful (to me) is the perseverance through the challenges, pain, and heartache.

The ending of this story tears away the very foundation of what makes their (Crowley and Aziraphale’s) connection meaningful. They keep choosing each other, despite their opposing sides, despite the constant threat of harm, and despite the moments that their ideal do conflict.

It’s easy to choose a person when it’s pleasant. A new friend is often worth the company. But what about when they annoy you? What about when you argue over unimportant things? Should you abandon them over these things? probably not!!! Continuing to choose one another again and again is what makes relationships matter.

To take away these memories and experiences— to replace them with a blank slate of pleasantness, is to forfeit what made their relationship so human and raw in the first place.

No hate to the creators or team or anything. I enjoyed the final to a larger degree than what I’m recounting here but it left a bit of a vacuum in my chest. Both in ending after being a part of my life for 8 years and making me feel like a witness to a lifetime of memories and disasters that I’ll be alone in remembering. It sounds silly but it’s how I feel. Just wanted to share

Please drop fanfics.

Ineffable husbands and/or fix-its.