sip the sunlight from your eyes

i genuinely need to die i cant do this i keep fucking crying

an interesting side effect of being really bad at responding to texts is sometimes when i do respond to ppl they just dont respond back. and its like. its kind of chill for me but i do sometimes wonder if ppl do it out of spite. bc do they realise that having Less Things To Respond To does make me feel better actually. ? or like what

i love going through my fave little sketchbook/journal even though it makes me sad how little i draw for fun now (last drawing i did in it was july last year) BUT a fun little surprise in it is that a tv shoot i was working on needed a journal for a prop and in a pinch i had that and the actor wanted to be really realistic and draw in it (which is fair) so now when i flick through it i have a cute little pov of the actor and the fake whiskey and the other actor sitting across the table from him. and also allegedly he (the actor) (also a college lecturer! not mine but a lecturer still) complimented my drawings. which is fun except 90% of the drawings in it are kpop portraits

just finished reading We Have Always Lived in the Castle by shirley jackson and i enjoyed but i also feel crazy bc the afterword keeps talking abt mary kate being sexually repressed and how the focus on food is erotic and I. feel insane bc I picked up on exactly zero sexual or erotic elements. am i stupid

sun was out. tried to take a picture w a friend. got flashbanged by myself

my long-time best friend from secondary school who igrew apart from and dont rlly talk to posted an innocuous instagram story and on their wall in the background is a painting i made for them for their birthday years ago. sick to my stomach