All my life, I focused on the negative impact my traumas had on the way my personality formed itself.
How my mind reacts to the slightest trigger.
How hard it made me to remain as a human being, and not a big pile of hatred and anger.
How I was unable to talk about my feelings for decades, how insanely wounded I was.
And I will never forget the child and adult, I could’ve become if the world would’ve been just a bit softer with the raw and real me. All the dirt I swallowed so people would stay. How anxiety still crawls in the back of my mind when someone says the wrong thing.
But to be real.Im grateful .All the things that happened, made me who I’m today. It made me have such an understanding, to the human race that some people only dream about.
I feel everything a 100 times stronger.
And yes I feel like a lost alien roaming on earth, can’t find souls like mine.
But I’m grateful. How the way I see the world, only I can understand.
And yes, there’s days where I want to crawl out of my body and let my soul out of here.
I became such a delicate being.
The most wounded humans become one of the most understanding ones.They say.
All my traumas taught me, that I need to become the person, I dreamt would save me as I was laying in my childhood bed surrounded by my stuffed animals.
And all those nights I prayed and prayed to God to just take me ,,I’m ready’’ I use to say under my breath because my sibling were next to me.
They needed me.I knew I can’t leave.
As I grew up I realised I couldn’t be me if not for it.
I know the path I’ll walk in my life.
How I’ll never let my kids feel the way I did.Ever.
I’m not broken just bendt.
(Thank you sm if you read all of this<3)
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