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@creepyforestcryptid

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really love this ancient letter from a kid named theon to his dad (p. ox. 1 119) because it's so ridiculously salty and rude ("WOW dad it was SO COOL of you NOT to take me to alexandria with you"), incredibly demanding ("bring me with you or i'm going to stop eating and drinking and i'll never speak to you again") and then ends with the appropriately polite typical close to a letter ("i pray that you are in good health"). truly exactly what i would expect from a moody child.
Me when I see the word beaʃte
In my head: ah! The archaic form of the letter s! Being a casual scholar of linguistics myself I am well aware that though it resembles the letter f in modern typography in fact it is phonetically identical to s! How foolish it would be to stumble into such a simple lexiconical pitfall!
Me aloud to myself every time: beeft
this interaction happened on a post where I was talking about blowing a guy
[Many college students experience introductory physics as psychologically threatening.]
Benson-Greenwald et al. (2026)

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finally some relatable content on ig
gotta keep reminding myself
public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time
“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.
reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared
in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday
the following events ensued:
1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?
2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes
3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes
4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke
5. this absolute masterpiece:

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My one friend really likes "yo mama" jokes, but she feels bad for saying them to me because my mama's dead, and lately she's been circumventing this by adding "in heaven" to them, a concept I was introduced to with zero warning via a text that said, "Yo mama's so stupid she's in heaven pre-heating the microwave."
Calvin and Hobbes (July 24, 1989) by Bill Watterson
me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?
could you lie
this is what upstairs neighbors have

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theres a pretty common cosplay wig supply company that once hired me to do promotional work for them but they never paid me for it. they must've forgotten about it because 2-3 years later they asked me to promo for them again and when i said "actually you already asked me to do this for you once, but you never paid me for my work" they sent a one line email response of: "oh ok! understandable, bye!" and still didnt pay me.
i still buy from them bc theres only a few wig suppliers with good quality/fast shipping so i think about that every single time im on their website.
don’t let @nbspacegay come over, they will give a stick moustache to your cat