"im sorry i yelled at you" + Joel Miller pls baby๐ซถcongrats btw!
content warnings: fem!reader, argument prior to the scene, apologies, joel is soft on r
you donโt know when the tears started. not definitively, anyway. you remember what started as a disagreement escalating beyond either of your control; you remember a scrambling attempt to reel your feelings in, a tugging in your chest telling you that this is going too far. joel was yelling in a way he doesnโt very often, loud and sharp, cutting through your quieter voice like a knife.
he knows heโs fucked up the second you turn away. you stifle a hiccuping sob with the back of your hand, eyes squeezed shut and back rounding like an armadillo as you scold yourself for being so sensitive. you wouldnโt be under different circumstances, but itโs been a hard week and youโre tired.
you think maybe heโd be better off without you. you almost say it.
joelโs voice is suddenly closer; his hand scrubs a huge circle across the expanse of your back and your heart ticks, loud and booming in your own ears.
โiโm sorry i yelled at you.โ
โitโs okay. i deserved it,โ you sayโ quiet, voice congested where another bout of tears is stuck in your throat.
โno- no, you didnโt.โ
you shrug and swipe a cruel palm across your stuffy nose. youโre moving against your better judgement, shoulders tilting until youโre facing joel again. he looks sorry in a sort of frustrated way, brows pinched above his deep set eyes, lips pursed, partially obscured by his scruff, peppered with grey.
โi didnโt mean for it to go as far as it did,โ you mumble, lip trembling.
his hand cups the back of your neck and you let him draw you up until your noses are almost touching. his thumb rubs your cheek, just beneath your ear.
โi never meant to yell. i never want to raise my voice at you.โ sweetheart, he wants to say; he thinks the pet name is maybe too much. โiโll never do it again.โ
you close your eyes and sag against his firm hold on your top half.
โcome here,โ he murmurs. you do as he says without thinking, though youโre not sure you can get much closer. his palm is cool against your hot cheeks. โget some rest, okay?โ
you sigh and push yourself up towards your sleeping bag, a ways away from ellieโs sleeping figure. to your delight, joel follows.
โyou cominโ with me?โ you ask. you try not to sound too excited.
he rolls his eyes but settles next to you on the woodland floor anyway. branches crunch beneath your body as you try to get comfortable. once youโre manoeuvred into joelโs lap, your head against his thigh, youโre already half asleep.
youโre not sure why heโs so soft on you, but youโre not going to protest.
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