Little Lady

ah yes, my favourite foreign language feel, “I know what all of those words mean individually but not together like that”

not to forget its twin “i know (roughly) what you’re saying, but what are those words?”

Plus the secret triplet “I managed to get your drift but I don’t know how to answer you”.

B I T C H

Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this

“Sshh don’t cry, my baby.”

MY FUCKING HEART 😭

“My baby is big and soft and doesn’t look like me but he is my son and I love him.”

is saying “horses” when you pass a field of horses a midwesterner thing or a whole ass national thing bc ive never been in a car when we passed a field and somebody has to just say Horses in a monotone voice and we all look and nodd and keep drivin

same goes with sheep

Assume I’m dead and rotting when this isn’t reblogged from my dash.

Reblogging with the bit that gives the outrage some closure.

👍👍👍

Yaayyy

People like this exist. Interesting.

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

I thought it was the same person ngl.

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

Stephanie is a true hero.

my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet

#5 is so fucking important.

Number 5 is a lie because niggas will fuck a McChicken but I digress.

she drunk as fuck

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me