Cookiecrumbz

Valko is a cuddle bug through and through, and he definitely isn’t ashamed, every time you wake up valko is beside you in bed, having his arms around your waist with gentle breaths against your neck, or when your just sitting on the couch watching a movie, he comes in and lays on top of you with a smile as he snuggles with you, he honestly just follows your every move on his spare time,

Right now, your currently folding some clean laundry that was just finished in the dryer, all warm and soft against your finger tips as you hummed, you suddenly hear some footsteps against the wooden floor, already recognizing his pattern of walking, valko leaned against the doorway with a smile, “Folding? You could’ve asked for some help.” His tail flicked with a toothy smile,

“It’s not that much, I can ha-“ but before you could finish Valko was already beside you, pulling you into his arms as he nuzzled his face into your hair.

“I think you do and you’re just being silly” he mumbled as he laid his chin on top of your head with his tail gently thumping against the floor as you continued folding the clothes in the basket.

“Don’t you get tired with cuddling so much? Don’t you ever want space?” You questioned as you placed your hand on top of his knee beside you, he stiffened,

“You…don’t like this?” He slowly frowned as his arms tightened around you as his tail stopped moving,

“No no! I just mean…you never want alone time? Like to do things by yourself?” You turned your head making eye contact with him,

“I mean, sometimes when I have work to do but when I’m not busy I want to spend time with the person I love the most.” He smiled once again as rubs his cheek against yours, you smiled back as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Quite lovey aren’t we?” With questioned as you place your hands on his cheek,

“Yes I am.” He smiled as he began nibbling and kissing the crook of your neck, causing you to fall backwards into the folded laundry, meaning you now have to restart it all again.

“Valko!” You whined,

“Sorry my beauty.”

Masterlist

Masterlist 2 ⬅️

Rules!

Welp, it happened: Caine went crazy with the bullshit, and Kinger accidentally deleted him,

The circus was so grey and dull; it was like all the colours were wiped along with Caine after Kinger accidentally deleted him,

You stared at the ground and tuned everyone else out, just looking down in silence. How could Kinger…delete him like that? Like, poof! Gone!

You didn’t quite catch what anyone was saying at this point; you just slowly walked to your room, ignoring the faint arguing between Jax and everyone else,

It’s been a day since the news, but you didn’t move a muscle since yesterday, just stayed in your bed staring at your ceiling in the dark. It was nice, it was probably the calmest you’ve felt in a long while. You slowly began to close your eyes until you heard a knock at the door,

“C-come in?” You muttered as you lifted your head, the slime dripping from your hair onto your pillowcase

The door squeaked open as Jax walked in and stood in the doorway,

“Hey.” He sighed as he closed the door and leaned against it,

“Sup..hehe..” You lay your head back down with your eyes closed once again

“Do you not care what that lunatic did? Deleting Caine and that?” Jax crossed his arms, with a frustrated look on his face.

“Kinger didn’t do it on purpose, you know that deep down, Jax…” You swung your arm over your face tiredly.

“But why should it matter if it was an accident if he screwed all of us over!” He shouted as he raised his arms out of anger.

“Oh, so if anyone besides yourself messes up, you can just go on a rant about it and jump down people’s throats about it??” You exclaimed back as you stood up, pointing your finger into his chest.

He squeezed his teeth together tighter as he squeezed your wrist with a glare, pushing your wrist away.

“Don’t talk to me like that, ever.” He muttered as he turned away, facing your door,

You squeezed your fists as you stared at the back of his head, with frustration etched on your face.

“Look, we just need to… stay together through this… this is a lot to process…” You whispered, your fingers reaching out to his,

But he jerked his hand away as he looked at you with a weird smile

“That’s stupid.” He said plainly as he left your room with a slam of your door,

And that was the last time you spoke to him before he abstracted.

You watched them run around aimlessly. It was so uncomfortable to watch someone you once knew, or at least tried to know. You always saw them as someone you would hang with more than anyone else in the circus.

You were standing beside Ragatha and gangle with both of them in shock as they watched Jax

“This is my fault… Why did I do this to him?.. why would he abstract so quickly?” you thought as you squeezed your hands into a fist as you cleared your throat.

“What do we do..with Jax?” You questioned as you looked towards ragatha, ragatha looked down nervously

“To be honest Y/N I feel like we should just…try our best not to interact… if Caine were here he would’ve just… got rid of them.” Ragatha held onto the bar in front of her, just watching Jax walk around.

You sigh as you back up from everyone,

“It’s just…hard to look at…” You mumbled as you crossed your arms. “I’m just… gonna go to my room..” you mutter once more as you walk down the stairs to head to your room.

All you did was sit on your bed and think to yourself about what to do,

“Should I just…kill them?” you pondered as you had your hands on your face, “Can you even kill anyone in the circus?…no that's so harsh to do…even if it's not Jax anymore..” you sighed as you stood up from your bed, “What if I just face them?…there isn't much to lose…” you squeezed the handle as you opened it,

You popped your head out, looking left and right, slowly walking out until you noticed Jax down the left side of the hallway. You suddenly froze as you made eye contact; they just stared at you as they charged at you.

It felt like you were glued to the floor, but inside you desperately wanted to run, and you booked it down the right side of the hallway, you didn't look back as you turned the corner, already knowing they were right behind you,

But you tripped on a crease in the carpet, falling face forward, knocking the wind out of your lungs, you turned around to see this abstraction of Jax in front of you

You quickly backed up into a small dark covered area, but Jax just stopped in front of you, it was like they were calm, you looked around panicked, not expecting them to stop coming so close towards you. You slowly began to reach toward them, all the glowing eyes looking down at your slimy hand, you placed your hand under one of the eyes, and everything went weird,

It was trippy and mesmerizing all at the same time, seeing patterns in a short sequence, was this what Jax saw before he abstracted? How could abstraction be so awful yet relaxing to see?

But it suddenly stops and brings you into this weird-looking area with about five doors, each with all of Jax's face on them in different styles, except one was boarded up, which caught most of your attention, so you decided to check out the doors while you're at it.

The first door you opened featured Jax standing in front of Ragatha’s door with a giant X on her face, you ended up being choked, the second door features a funeral for Gangle with Jax in a maid outfit, and the last door you looked through was like a more cartoony style.

You honestly felt quite confused about everything you witnessed, but you almost forgot the last two doors, the boarded-up door and the yellow face plate of jax, you twist the doorknob for the non-boarded-up door, seeing four Jaxs

The three of them you just saw moments ago, playing a card game while the other Jax played on the piano, turned to you. The Jax in a maid dress spoke first.

“And how the hell did YOU get in here?” He raised a brow and he hunched over in his seat “We could’ve got you a seat except you didn’t tell us in ahead of time, pretty ruuude to intrude Y/N” he said with a smirk,

“I'm sorry…could I ask why you're wearing that outfit? I thought you didn’t like it?…” you questioned as you walked towards their table, seeing that there were poker chips all over the table,

“I’m wearing it ironically, obviously it honestly shows how little I care,” he said, laying his hand under his own chin staring at you with a gentle smile and languid eyes, but you darted your eyes over to the Jax at the piano as he began to speak,

“And I can play the piano!”

“You know, if you have to say you play the piano, it makes it seem like you can’t actually play.” The Jax in the maid outfit interrupted

“YEAH, JUST SHUT UP AND PLAY” the wide-eyed Jax yelled as he threw a glass bottle against the wall behind the Jax that was playing piano, he turned his head with a scared look as he went back to playing.

“You don’t have to be that mean to him…” You mutter as you lean forward on the table,

“Oh it’s finneeee, he’ll just keep on playing, no biggie.” Cartoony-looking Jax flicked his wrist,

“Can I ask what was up with the other doors…what was that exactly?…” You questioned, trying to at least get some answers,

“Psh, who knows! And who cares! As long as it’s fun, it’s fine!” Cartoony Jax swung an arm around your shoulders bringing you closer to his deck of cards, “Now tell me which cards I should give out.” He muttered in your ear as you looked at the cards, it was all Uno cards, not even the same game.

“I..don’t think you're gonna win this…” You said slowly as you lowered his deck of cards with an awkward smile, “Nah I can definitely win this with my skills.” he gave you a nudge, but then you heard a slight scratch behind the chained-up door, they all turned,

“SHUT UP!!!” They yelled in unison, as they turned back to the table,

“Uh…what was that?” You questioned at the chained-up door,

“Nothing, we don’t talk about her.” The wide-eyed Jax squeezed his cards as everyone at the table did the same, “She? Who is…She?” You thought as you looked at the door, you decided to slowly move towards the door until you got a grip on your shoulder, but you swung around seeing the three Jaxs staring you down. You swung through them, turning into dust in the wind, you looked over to the piano-playing Jax in his seat with chains around his ankles,

“Do… Do you want help with those?..” you asked as you pointed at his ankles, he slowly nodded, you looked around the room looking for something sharp to hit against the chains, you notice the dart board and take a chair to reach it, you take it off the wall and smashed it against the chains, but it didn't work, but another idea pops into your head

“Oh!” you raised your brows, wiping your slimy hands around his ankles, making his feet slip out of the chains, “Does that feel at least better? Sorry for the slime…” you laughed awkwardly as he wiped the slime off around his ankles, you cleared your throat as you looked towards the chained up door, rubbing the back of your neck, “So uh..can you help me take all that off?…” he quietly nodded as the two of you began ripping off the boards and chains.

You looked at the door now cleaned without the boards and Chains you looked over at Jax laying a hand on your shoulder, “It's was nice seeing you one last time Y/N, good luck.” he muttered as you took the key from his hand, causing him to disappear, you squeezed the key in your hand as you squeezed the doorknob, walking through the door.

The moment you walked in, it was not what you expected, pink walls, pink rug, almost pink everything aside from the bed frame and the chair at the pink desk, you saw this girl, she looked like jax but different, she had jet black hair, a cute pink bow on her side of her ear, a black and grey striped shirt with a cute pink skirt, they looked at you, like they were scared of you. You knocked on the side of the open door, “Is it okay if I come in?” you asked politely and they nodded yes, you closed the door behind you as you walked forward, you pulled out a small chair from the tiny table, “So…are you Jax's sister? You're very pretty..” You smiled, trying to make conversation,

“I am Jax,” she stated bluntly, “I've always been Jax.”

Honestly, you widened your eyes looking down at the floor, is that why they were so uncomfortable in the dresses? Was she not ready to dress femininely? And get forced into it as a joke?.. How could..she never tell you how she felt? How could she never tell you how she presents herself? We're we not close enough?

All these thoughts swarming your mind as you slowly look back up at her, “I…I'm sorry..”

She raised a brow, “For what? You didn't do anything except be one of the few people I'm close to.”

“I'm just…sorry about how things went down before you..”

“Abstracted?”

“Yes, and I'm sorry you were never comfortable telling me what you identify as or—”

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down y/n, look, I was comfortable with you, I am comfortable with you, this… is just hard for me to talk about, especially with my past before the circus, and what has happened to me before the circus, and I've been…rejecting the idea of who I am, who I really am.” she sighed as she twisted the end of her hair,

“Wow, Jax, I… that sounds like a lot to deal with… I wish we could've talked about this before you…abstracted..” You folded your hands on your lap as you teared up, “D-did… I make you abstract?” you asked quietly as you avoided their gaze.

You hear a creak from the bed as she gets up and takes a seat in the small chair laying their chin on top of their hand that rested on the table, “Of course not, half the time you're the reason why I didn't abstract…it was more due to the circus becoming less than what it was, with Caine being gone, what's the point of existing in a place like that?” she questioned as she reached out your cheek, wiping away the tear dripping from your right eye.

You placed your hand over hers sniffling, “I did mean it, Jax… you look very pretty…lovely even.” You smiled as you pulled her into a hug, letting your tears fall onto her shoulder, “thank you..Y/N, thank you..” she smiled as she made you face her, slowly moving in, and kissing your lips,you kiss back with a small blush on your cheeks, you wrapped your arms loosely around her shoulders as you kissed, but a light slowly start to grow brighter, but you only kissed her harder, scared to let go, scared to see what happens next with out her, but you get pulled out, laying on the floor looking up at everyone as they looked down upon you, with faces that showed care.

It’s been a few days, Caine came back, and you and everyone else made a giant pillow fort for Jax, you visit her frequently, sharing different foods you have, some books, or you just talk to her, you miss her, she may be here dozing asleep next to you in this giant fort, but you will always remember her regardless.

MASTERLIST ⬅️

MASTERLIST 2

RULES!

It honestly all started around kindergarten. You had just moved to your hometown and felt quite nervous about the new atmosphere. The next few days were pretty awkward, especially since everyone seemed to have a friend except you.

That was until you became friends with Kris.

Neither of you could quite remember how you became friends, but whatever happened that day that brought you two together clearly worked.

Now, you're both in class, bored out of your minds as Miss Alphys drones on about a history lesson you aren't really listening to. You're doodling in the corner of your page, drawing a weird, funny-looking blob with pointy teeth and one big eye, but as you doodled, you looked over to Kris, who had their head down, very obviously sleeping.

You smiled as you turned your pencil and poked their face with the eraser,

“C'mon, Kris, wakey wakey!” you whispered as you poked their cheek, and Kris slowly woke up. They rubbed their cheek, a small patch of red showing as they noticed it was you.

“You look exhausted, Kris, up late?” You tilted your head as you slid your paper on their desk

Kris shrugged and looked down at your page with a raised eyebrow,

“Isn't it cute? I was just bored and doodled a little.” You laughed a tiny bit as you tore it off the corner and handed it to Kris, “Keep it, since you already have most of my doodles I give you, right?” You nudged Kris, but before they could respond, Alphys did a short cough,

“U-um (Y/N) and Kris, c-could you continue your discussion later? P-please,” she stuttered awkwardly.

“Mhm! Sorry, Miss Alphys!” You shrugged as you scooted away from Kris and to actually write on what was on the board, but Kris just laid their head back down on the desk, feeling the piece of paper between their fingers.

Kris had their backpack swung around their shoulder as they walked out the door with you not far behind with a smile,

“Oh my gosh, no offence to Miss Alphys, but today’s lesson was so boring I could’ve fallen asleep, just like you did,” you laughed as you bumped into their shoulder

Kris shrugged with a small smirk.

“Wow. Not guilty about it at all, are you?” You slightly begin to walk faster, then start to walk backwards as you face Kris, “Do you remember anything she said?

Kris thought for a second before slowly shaking their head.

You rolled your eyes as you groaned, “Let’s hope a test isn’t coming up soon, cause we are definitely gonna fail.” For a few minutes, the only sound between you was your footsteps against the sidewalk.

You’d never minded the silence with Kris. It wasn’t awkward; it was just comfortable between you guys. You talked, and they listened.

“Mom made cookies yesterday,” you said after a while. “I think there are still some left. If you’re not busy later, you could come over and maybe have a sleepover, if your mom is okay with it.”

Kris looked beside themselves like they were thinking before giving a small nod.

You smiled to yourself. “Just don’t eat all of them this time.”

Kris looked away, pretending they hadn’t heard that.

“Hey! Last time you left me like, two and a half cookies!”

In response, Kris just shook their head with a mischievous smirk.

“You know what you did, anyway, I'll see you later, then, Kris!” you said as you rushed off to your house, leaving Kris to walk home.

Kris arrives home by themself. They close the door behind them and head to their room. They close the door gently as they face their bed. Kris crouches and reaches under their bed, pulling out a small box with small stickers on top.

Kris reached into their pocket and pulled out the drawing you made during class. They lifted the lid, placing the drawing inside. The box was filled with little trinkets of yours that you gave to Kris, little drawings, and a couple of pictures of you both together when you were younger.

A few minutes later, as Kris goes through the box, they hear Toriel's footsteps approaching their door.

Kris hurriedly slid the box back beneath the bed before there came a gentle knock at the door.

“Kris? I just got back from school. I was going to head out and get some groceries for supper tonight! Is there anything you would like?” Toriel called from the other side of the door,

Kris opens the door, asking for permission to head to your house for a sleepover,

“A sleepover? You haven’t had one in ages with Y/N; that would be fine by me. Just keep your phone on you.” Toriel pats Kris’s head with a gentle smile.

Currently, you're at home trying to help your mother decorate some cookies she made yesterday for you and Kris, trying to place the icing on them perfectly, while your mother, on the other hand, isn't stressing about making them perfect like you are.

“What’s the matter, honey? You look like you're going to pass out.” Your mother smiled as she held the piping bag over the cookies, glancing at you as you sighed, releasing a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

“I..I don't know. I know this sleepover was my idea, but Kris and I haven't had one since we were younger. What if it's weird now? What if Kris only agreed because they feel like they have to?” You placed the piping bag beside you with a sad look on your face.

Your mother hummed, “Well, do you and Kris still have fun during and after school?”

“Well, yeah?”

“Does Kris seem to like being around you?”

You blushed. “M-mom!” you shouted, embarrassed as you picked up the piping bag to finish the cookies to avoid her stare.

“Then I don't think Kris will find it awkward.” Your mother placed a small amount of icing on your cheek with a gentle smile on her face.

You smiled as you scooped up the chunk of icing on your finger and licked it right off the side of your finger. “Alright then, Mom, if you say so…” As you turn to the sink to clean your hands, there is a small knock at the door. You wipe off your hands and rush to the door with a smile.

“Kris! You're here!” you said as you moved out of the way for Kris to bring in their sleeping bag,

Kris nodded with a small smile, looking behind you, noticing the platter of cookies sitting on the counter,

You squint suspiciously at Kris, “Kris, you definitely didn't just come over just for the cookies, right?”

Kris looked towards you with a guilty smile as they shook their head no

“Uh-huh, sure, let's put away your stuff before you devour them,” you stated as you took Kris’s hand and walked with them down the hallway towards your room,

Once you opened your door, your room hasn't changed much since you were younger, maybe a bigger bed and posters, but not much else. “You can put your sleeping bag anywhere you want, Kris, just not right beside my bed. I don't want to step on you once I get out of bed!” You laugh at the thought of just stepping on Kris’s face,

They place the sleeping bag at the end of your bed, and give you a thumbs up, and in return you do it back with a charming smile, but as Kris looked away, they walked over to your side table, noticing a picture of the both of you next to a weird-looking snowman the two of you built.

“That's my favourite picture of us when we were younger. We played in the snow for hours that day… No wonder I got a cold the next day,” you muttered shyly

Kris squeezed the picture frame with their thumbs, with a smile on their face

“Do you have any pictures of us when we were kids, Kris?”

Kris flinched and had a small blush on their face as they shook their head no as they thought of the box under their bed, featuring DOZENS of photos.

“Really? I think my mom has some more pictures somewhere.” You shrugged as the two of you walked out of your room to enjoy the cookies.

After a couple of hours of talking and hanging out with each other, it was time to head to bed. You crawled into bed while wearing a cute set of light blue PJs, you crawled under the covers with a gentle hum, while Kris, on the other hand, was trying to get comfortable in the sleeping bag, rolling side to side as they struggled to relax,

“Goodnight, Kris. Let me know if you need anything!” You looked down at Kris at the end of your bed, reaching over to your side table and turning off your lamp, leaving the room completely dark, with only light coming from under your door.

Kris just stayed put under the sleeping bag, staring at your ceiling with plastic Glow in the dark stars on your ceiling, they seem to be fading due to old age

Kris is already growing bored as they slide out of the sleeping bag, looks at you with your eyes closed,

They began to poke your face until you groaned with annoyance,

“Kris, if you're looking for the bathroom, it’s down the hall… I would think you would know that by now.” You mumbled as you rubbed your eye,

Kris shook their head and flicked their wrist, like they're asking you to move over, you obviously widen your eyes,

“You…wanna sleep with me? Like what we did when we were younger?” You sat up straight as you looked at Kris. They had a gentle blush on their face as they nodded. You gently smiled as you scooted and patted the area where you had just been lying.

Kris raised the blanket and lay beside you,

“Comfy?” you muttered as your face was close to theirs. They nodded, and you grew closer to Kris, wrapping an arm above their collarbone, snuggling your face into their hair.

“I missed this, Kris…” You closed your eyes slowly, enjoying Kris’s company as you snuggled them. You gently sigh as you gently pull back and look at Kris’s face,

“Kris…I actually have something to tell you… but… I'm scared to say it…” You muttered. Kris turned their head towards you with a tint of red on their cheeks. They gently placed their hand over yours, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer to their face, and you instantly flush with the distance between the two of you,

“I-i feel like you want to say something too, Kris?” You shyly smile as you place your other hand on Kris’s cheek as Kris nods their head,

“Well, I… really, really like you, Kris… do you feel the same?” you whispered as you gently leaned in and gave Kris a peck on the lips.

Kris at this point was just frozen, like they were a statue,

“Kris? Kris?! Did I do something wrong?!” you whispered, not wanting to wake your parents.

Kris just smiled as they shook their head as they lay beside you with a small smile.

MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST 2 ⬅️

RULES!

It was months ago when you entered the circus, and you still remember how you felt in that moment,

You were Freaked the [❓⭕❗] out.

The bright colours around you, the many things surrounding you, the weird-looking characters staring at you, you were honestly and rightfully confused. Why couldn’t you leave this exact moment? Why isn’t the headset coming off?

And why is this pair of talking teeth speaking to you?!

But you mostly tuned out the supposed Caine and took in your surroundings, rubbing your wrist nervously, as you grew uncomfortable from the stares you were receiving. Suddenly, Caine snapped, causing a giant slot machine to appear from thin air and spin. It landed on the name (Y/N), better than your own name…what’s your name again?

But soon after you received your name, Caine left, leaving you alone with the colourful cast of characters around you.

And they were pretty nice, is what you thought initially, until a purple colored rabbit began to speak towards you, “yikes, this is the worst character design I’ve ever seen.” He smirked, flashing his yellow teeth,

You looked down at yourself and raised an eyebrow, “That’s a lot coming from a purple rabbit in overalls.” You said, crossing your arms.

And honestly, after that conversation, the rest was history. You and Jax became inseparable from each other after that day,

Constantly doing pranks, being total [❓⭕❗] disturbers to everyone, especially at this moment where you and Jax are currently running away with water guns from a very angry wet zooble, the two of you cackling as you turn a corner and hide behind a giant colourful block, taking small breaths as you both snicker quietly

“How did Zooble not catch you? You were all over the place!” He laughed as he nudged you with the leaking water gun. You rolled your eyes as you raised your finger to his face. “Says the one who almost dropped their gun,” you smirked.

But before you could realize Jax sprays you with his gun, “I didn't, so, quit lying and—” before he could finish, you both feel a bucket of water splash on the two of you, both of you looking ahead with a pleased Zooble holding a plastic bucket, “You guys are so stupid.” They toss the bucket as they leave,

And as they left, you and Jax began to laugh once again: “Oh my gosh, the look on their face was priceless!” You shout as you cover your mouth, laughing, but Jax slowly stops laughing and starts to watch you laugh. He has a small smile as he watches you until you notice. “Hey, what should we do now?” You smiled as you held the gun tighter in your hands,

He turned his head away as he shrugged, “psh, I don’t know, whatever you wanna do, I guess, I’m getting bored with these anyway.” He mumbled

“Eh, we can just chill for a bit.” You placed the water gun beside you, wrapping your arms around your knees against your chest.

“Do you…ever miss the outside world?” you shrugged with a nervous smile.

But Jax didn’t really respond; he just blinked at you and stayed quiet for a couple of seconds until he responded with his yellow smile, “I don’t really think about it, I just like the fact that I can do whatever I want in here.” He closed his eyes as he lay his arms behind his head, leaning against the giant block.

“Really? You don't think about it? Like, at all?” You raised your eyebrows in disbelief as you looked down at your legs, letting out a small chuckle.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do? Cry about it like a baby?” he laughed, but it sounded slightly forced.

“I'm the total opposite…my mind is racing constantly, thinking about so many random things… what I would be doing instead of being in this circus…it kinda keeps me up at night.” You looked back up at Jax, and he was staring at you,

You clear your throat.

“But that's nothing. As you said, we can do…whatever we want in here.”

Jax hummed quietly.

“…Yeah.”

He responded quickly.

You stared at the floor for a moment before speaking again.

“So you really don't miss anyone…?”

His grin falters for a second.

“…Nope.”

His snarky smile returns

“Now c'mon, let's go bother Ragatha or something, this conversation is getting depressing.”

He stands up before you could say anything, his hand in front of your face to help you get up, but before you could grab it, he takes it away,

“Ohh ouch, too slow for that, I guess,” he smirked as he began to walk off. You shook your head and quickly followed after him.

It was so quiet, with it just being your thoughts, you were lying in your comfy bed, staring at the bland ceiling, overthinking about everything, with very good questions swarming your brain, when will you leave? Do people miss you? Did you die, and was this purgatory? So many questions left unanswered.

You rolled on your side, staring at your doorway, gently squeezing the bedsheets under you as you slowly closed your eyes, trying not to think about anything else, but luckily, something did distract you: a gentle knock at the door. You hesitantly walk up to the door, turn the doorknob, look up, and see Jax’s face.

“Jax? What are you doing here so late?” You questioned him,

“I was bored, we can’t sleep in here, remember?” He flicked your forehead.

“So you think you can just come and bother me just because we don’t sleep?” You smirked as you rubbed your forehead where he flicked, then sat back on your bed.

“I’m not bothering you, I’m hanging out with you,” he plopped himself on your bed, laying his long legs over your lap comfortably.

You looked down at Jax as he was sprawled across your bed.

“You know, for someone who's as destructive as you, you know when to be normal at some points.”

Jax scoffed.

“Wow. Thanks. Nice to know I’m weird.”

“That’s not what I meant.” You rolled your eyes

“Sure,” he kicked the side of your leg,

You chuckle as you slide his legs off yourself and slide beside him in your bed, looking up at your ceiling.

A familiar silence settled over the room.

“This is nice, I like these quiet moments between us.”

He groaned dramatically and threw an arm over his face.

“Oh God, that's cringe,” he laughed,

You couldn’t help but smile as he laughed,

“I’m serious!” You laughed as you lifted yourself on your right side, facing him

“Alright, alright, my bad, someone had to say it.”

His hand slowly slipped from his face.

“ I guess I can say the same when I'm with you, too…” he smiled as he looked up at you, then immediately looked away with a small blush on his face.

You smiled as you lay back down on your back, laying your arms behind your head,

“I feel like we would totally be friends outside of the circus,” you muttered as you closed your eyes,

“Probably not,”

“What?” You immediately open your eyes again from confusion,

“You would go on with your life and be with your family,” he shrugged,

“Why would you say that? That would not be the case…” You said as you raised in the bed and crossed your arms, and you looked down at him

“Just forget what I said, okay? It doesn't matter since we’ll probably never leave. I've been here ever since I can remember, I think you should just forget about leaving and accept the fact that you might be here forever!” he said as he got out of bed, standing over you with a frustrated look on his face,

“Jax, do you…not want to leave the circus?” You stood up out of the bed as well, crossing your arms with a confused look on your face.

“No.”

He looked away annoyed,

“And there wouldn't be a point in leaving the circus for me… this is all I can look forward to instead of…outside of the circus,” he rolled his eyes as he sat back down on the bed, looking down at your flooring.

“I get it..” you sit beside him once more, placing your hand on top of his, he slightly flinches but lets you rest your hand on top of his.

“Back at home, I wasn’t doing the greatest either” you shrugged with a weak laugh,

“I would barely leave my home most days and just stay in bed most of the time.”

Your eyes fixated on the floor

“Everything felt overwhelming all the time.”

You swallowed.

“And now I’m stuck in a place that’s loud and colorful and constantly changing…”

Your fingers tightened around his hand.

“I know I may seem okay but I just don’t feel it most days. It feels like I’m slowly drowning,” you huffed as you looked at him,

But he stayed silent, he just listened to you talk, slowly moving his hand on top of yours and holding it,

“That sucks.” He immediately widens his eyes at his own response.

“That sounded awful but I mean like… what you're going through, someone like you shouldn’t have to deal with that..”

You smile, “thanks Jax… I really… appreciate you listening to me about this.”

Jax smiled as well, “don’t mention it, just.. let me know when you need to be serious and junk alright?” He nudged you as he gets back up to leave,

“Jax wait,” you reached out, gently grabbing his wrist,

“That goes the same for you too you know… I gotta know what’s happening in your mind sometimes too.” You let go as he stood next to you with his casual grin.

“No need to worry about me, I’m fine allllll the time,” he exaggerated his sentence.

“Jax I’m serious, don’t be afraid to talk to me okay?” You said as he made his way to your door,

“Trust me [N/N], I’m fine,”.

He reached for the doorknob.

“…Thanks, though.”

The words were so quiet you almost missed them.

Then he was gone.

And honestly, after that night together, Jax hasn’t left your side.

Even if you try to go off on your own, he’s there—leaning against a wall nearby, pretending he’s just “bored.”

You don’t call him out on it.

You don’t need to.

Because for the first time since you got here, the silence in your head doesn’t feel so loud anymore.

And for now, that was enough to make the circus feel a little less impossible.

MASTERLIST 1 ⬅️

MASTERLIST 2

RULES!

“Um… I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t think you’d be a good fit for this company or to be my personal assistant...” you mumbled as you read her résumé, rereading the couple of sentences on the page.

The woman scoffed. “That’s bullshit! Have you seen this beautiful eyeshadow I did?!” she yelled, pointing at her eyelids.

You sigh, placing your fingers on the bridge of your nose. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Miss Sato. You aren’t the right fit for this position. Just because you wear makeup doesn’t mean you’re qualified...” you said bluntly, not sugarcoating a word.

Miss Sato stood up and slammed her hands on your desk with a furious frown. “I get your point! I’m leaving! I don’t need this stinking job!” she yelled, snatching the résumé from your hands and storming out of your office, leaving the glass door open.

A sigh slips from your lips as you place your fingers on the side of your face and close your eyes, leaning back in the black leather chair. “Why does this have to be so hard? Just find someone capable of handling my schedules and some tasks..."

Until you hear a gentle knock at your open door.

“When are you going to take your job seriously?” the woman suddenly said, holding a cigarette in her left hand, her right side leaning against the glass door.

“I do take my job seriously, Mom… why are you here anyway?” you groan, adjusting your posture and staring at your mother at the door.

“Can’t a mother visit her daughter? And by the way, it’s not that hard to hire someone, dear, who’s capable of something so simple,” your mother stated, placing the cigarette between her lips and slowly inhaling.

“First off, it is. I need someone reliable to be here—a responsible person I can count on to keep things in line. And second… please don’t smoke in here...” you muttered the last part, feeling already resigned, knowing you won’t change her mind.

Your mother smiled as she exhaled smoke from her nostrils, pulling the cigarette away from her face and resting it to her side as she looked at you. “Honestly, you're overthinking this, like you usually do. You need to have more confidence, sweetheart.”

She walked towards your desk, putting out her cigarette onto the wooden surface, leaving a small amount of ash.

“I’m just telling you the truth, sweetheart. Wouldn’t you want that?” she said with a smile that lingered just a bit too long—sharp, knowing, and impossible to argue with.

You squeezed the armrests of the leather chair. “Well, sometimes you just need to keep some things to yourself once in a while...” you said with a tired look.

“Oh god, you can be so defensive. If you're going to be the CEO of this company, you need to take criticism. You have big shoes to fill for this role, especially since your father gave this company to you. You should be grateful for what we’ve done for you.”

The room was silent now, just the subtle sound of breathing as you sat, slowly swinging the chair side to side, feeling your mother's gaze and the weight of her disappointment.

“I’m sorry...” You avoided her gaze, turning the chair slightly away. “I’ll be better, I promise,” you said, casting her a small glance.

She smiled, leaning down to kiss your cheek, leaving a small lipstick smudge.

“That’s my girl,” she muttered.

“Now prove to your father and me that you’ll do better and make us proud,” she straightened with an unreadable expression, then turned to leave, closing the door behind her.

You spun in your chair to look out the large glass window, watching traffic and people walking below as it rained.

“That's my girl.” you mocked with an eyeroll, rethinking your mother's words as you swung side to side in the chair, watching the raindrops hit the glass.

“I don't get why they can't see I'm already trying my best… I only started about 3 weeks ago…” you mumbled as you picked at your long-sleeved shirt, pulling the buttons that kept your shirt together.

But as you were fiddling with your shirt, soft footsteps were walking into your office,

You turned around and froze

Seeing this man standing in front of your desk.

You slightly slide back up in your chair and fold your hands together as you look at him with embarrassment on your face.

“Hello—Sorry, um.. Can I help you?” you asked with a nervous smile,

He didn't move closer, he just stood there, watching you a second longer before he spoke.

“You look exhausted.” he pointed out as he placed a paper resume on your desk.

“Oh.” is all you could say. Honestly, what were you supposed to say to that?

The room became quiet once again.

You cleared your throat and took the resume.

You tried to read the paper

…You really did.

But you can't ignore the feeling of his eyes looking at you.

So you sigh and place the paper to the side and make eye contact with him,

“You can take a seat if you'd like Choso,” you stated as you pointed to the seat he stood by,

He glanced down at it and slowly sat in it, keeping eye contact with you, it felt so steady.

“…Right,” you muttered under your breath,

“So, to start, do you have any experience as a personal assistant?” you asked, fingers interlocked on your desk.

“…No,” he said.

“…None?”

“No,”

You shot him a confused look, trying to disguise your smile.

“Then why try to apply for a job like this?” You asked as you leaned closer to him with a curious look on your face.

“…Because you're hiring?”

His brows furrowed slightly, like the answer should've been obvious.

You shook your head as you shrugged your shoulders "That's your reason?”

“…Yes,”

“Was he serious? Like… Actually serious? I mean, he isn't wrong but how can you be this blunt?” is what you thought as you looked at this guy's face,

You shifted your chair to at least seem formal for this awkward interview, “So… Could you tell me why you would think you would be good for this job?” you asked, attempting to understand this guy.

But he didn't say anything at first, it was like he was in a trance until he regained focus,

“Sorry…” he mumbled,

“I’d be devoted to the work… If something needs to be done…Then I'll do it.”

You stared at him for a moment

“That's all? No long explanation nor an attempt to impress me with his words?” is what you thought at that moment.

Your fingers tapped together as you thought to yourself as you leaned back in your chair, “I don't mean to be harsh, but, is that really it?” you asked honestly as you pointed at him with your two index fingers,

His gaze didn't move from you. “Yes…”

You exhaled softly through your nose as you stared back at the resume you placed aside, then straight back at him.

No experience.

No references.

“…You don't have any background for this type of work,” you said, more to yourself than him.

“I don't,”

“I'm sorry, but I can't just hire you just because you feel devoted.”

“…”

He stayed silent, like he was thinking of what to say next, he looked down at his lap for a couple of moments then looked straight back at you with a serious look on his face,

“T-then let me at least prove it to you!… Please,” he begged,

You slightly raised your eyebrows at his raised voice

“I didn't mean to yell, but please… let me prove it to you that I can be the best I can for you…” He begged once more, the words simple but landed heavier than what he's said so far during this interview.

You blinked, caught slightly off guard.

“…Prove it?” you echoed,

“Yes… just give me a chance…”

You parted your lips slightly, then pressed them together again as you leaned back in your chair, studying him and his words,

“I could really help this guy off his resume—maybe help give him some experience, polish his skills.”

“Should I trust that you will do a good job?” you asked quietly as you slowly came out of your thoughts

“Yes, I swear.” he nodded as he spoke

You slightly smile as you take his resume and hand it back to him,

“Okay,” you hand him his resume,

“Does this mean I’m hired?” He asked confused as he began to stand from his seat,

“Hm…It’s a maybe. We need to talk about it more, maybe over brunch tomorrow?” You unwrinkled your skirt as you stood, raising your hand towards him with a gentle smile.

He looked honestly shocked, he timidly reached out and shook your hand slowly and gently, “Y-yeah sounds good…Thank you so much.” he said gratefully with a small smile on his pale face.

“You’re welcome…Choso, here's my number so we can keep in contact for tomorrow." You said as you took one of your business cards off the desk, next to the small amount of ash left by what your mother had.

He grabbed the card from your gentle hands, reading it slowly and then looking up at you once more, “I’ll call.” He stated as he held the card in both hands.

You smiled as you guided Choso to the door, “Alright, I’ll be expecting a call from you soon then.” You handed him his resume once more and left without another word,

Your smile falters as you close the door behind you, taking a moment to be alone in your office. You slowly walk back to your desk, packing your things one by one to head straight home. That's when your phone started to ring.

You sigh to yourself thinking as you walk towards your desk, “What could it possibly be now???”

You pick up the phone with a tired tone “Hello…?” You answered,

“Hey, we're going out tonight, We need to talk.” Your boyfriend, Naoya stated, as if there was no room to argue.

Before you could think of what to say, he hung up before you could answer

I guess you're going out to dinner tonight.

You were outside of the building, and it looked pretty fancy from what you could tell. You looked down at your work outfit, smoothing out the wrinkles as you walked towards the door,

The moment you walked in, you heard small, quiet conversations among the tables behind the reservation podium, people clinking their wine glasses together, and laughter at other tables. As you looked around, you noticed Naoya sitting, lazily spinning a fork between his fingers.

You smiled as you looked back at the hostess who stood behind the reservation podium,

“Hello, do you have a reservation with us this evening?”

You nodded, "Yes it should probably be under Zenin?”

“Zenin…Yep! I'll bring you to your table ma’am.” The woman grabbed a menu for you as she began to walk towards the table, you followed and sat across Naoya, placing your purse on the chair dangling,

“Now, shall we start with drinks?” The waitress said as she pulled out a notepad and pen.

“I’ll have a-“

“Just two waters.” Naoya interrupted, not making eye contact with the waitress,

“Alright then, be right back with the waters,” the waitress walked away closing the notepad,

As she walked away you looked at Naoya with an annoyed look on your face,

“I wanted a cocktail,” you stated,

“Don't need one, besides, you're late, why should I reward you for being late?”

“I texted you I would be a tad bit late, and I just got out of work—”

“I can clearly tell,” he said with a disgusted look on his face, “This is a nice restaurant and you come with a coffee stain on your collar?” he pointed,

You curl your fingers on your skirt, slightly embarrassed from Naoya’s bluntness, “I didn't notice…” you mumbled,

The waitress returned with the glasses of water, “Are we ready to order?” She flipped a page on her notepad, clinking her pen.

“She will have a pecan salad with light dressing and I'll have the steak in red wine,” he said as he handed the waitress both of your menus,

“A pecan salad? Really?”

That made your frown more prominent as the waitress walked away, Naoya sipping his water, noticing your stare,

He swallowed then cleared his throat then setting his water down on the table with a soft clink,

“So,” he started, his tone slow and casual, “How’s the whole… CEO thing going?”

You blinked, “…busy, I’m still kinda adjusting, but-“

“I figured.” He cuts in smoothly, “It just doesn’t suit you.”

You moved your head back with your eyebrows scrunched, “…What?”

He leaned back in the chair with a small smirk, “You’re trying too hard.”

A small laugh gets caught in your throat, more out of disbelief than anything. “Naoya, I only started three weeks ago, of course I’m tryi-“

“That’s exactly what I mean.” He tilted his head, studying your attire and body, “Every time I look at you anymore you look so…exhausted and tense, you overthink everything about this position.”

Your mouth slightly opens but then slowly closes again,

“Here’s your salad and your steak will be out soon sir,” the waitress interrupted as she placed the salad in front of you,

“Thank you,” you gave the waitress an awkward smile as Naoya nodded towards her,

Silence stretched across the table as you picked up your fork, hitting the little pecans that sat on top of the salad,

“Well, I work a lot more now… And that’s normal.”

“For someone in your position?” He hummed. “Not really.”

You stabbed a bit of lettuce and took a bite, “Is this what you needed to talk about? Talking down to me?” You accused as you chewed your food,

Naoya didn’t answer right away, he picked up his water again taking a slow sip then swallowing,

“Actually no,” he picked up his fork once more,

“I think we should end this.”

Just like that.

No buildup, no hesitation.

His words landed heavier than they sounded.

Your lips parted once more, “…End what?”

“This.” He gestured between the two of you “Us.

You squint your eyes “D-did I do something wrong? Is it because I haven’t had time for you? C-cause I can try an-“

“It’s not about time [Y/N].” He interrupted, almost bored.

“Then what is it?”

Before he could speak his steak arrived, he nodded to the waitress as she left once again as he began to cut into the steak,

“You're just…not much of a woman anymore,” he said as he grabbed a piece with his fork and took a bite,

“What is that supposed to mean?!” You raised your voice at his words

“It means,” he rubs his face with his napkin, removing the juices of the steak off the corners of his mouth, “You’re never home to be a good woman.”

Honestly, you weren’t shocked, just furious.

“A good woman?” You crossed your arms,

“Yeah, ever since you became this CEO for your dad, you’re never home to satisfy me, so might as well end this,”

You looked away, honestly, you can’t believe what you were hearing, like yes, Naoya can be a little unreasonable at times but this, this takes the cake.

“Fine,”

Naoya smiled, like he was satisfied that this was over

“Glad you see my point of view,” he takes another bite from his steak,

“Uh-huh,” you push your salad angrily as you get up from your seat, causing it to fall into the glasses of water, falling onto his steak and lap,

“Are you fucking kidding me! Fuck you bitch!” He exclaimed as you rushed out of the restaurant, shooting him the middle finger on your way out.

You unlocked your door, placing your purse beside you as you closed the door, sliding down until you sat on the floor sighing, “What a day…” you muttered as you reached into your purse to at least block Naoya’s number,

You unlock your phone, noticing a missed call, and you notice they left a voicemail so you click on it to listen.

“Hello, um, this is Choso, whom you spoke to this afternoon, uh, I was hoping we would still be heading to brunch? Just give me a call or text to let me know, please. Have a good night Miss L/N.”

“Oh fuck,” you swore under your breath, you immediately send Choso a small message,

Hey Choso! It would be a delight to have a chat over brunch tomorrow, thank you for giving me a call, so sorry for missing it, have a good night yourself!

You send the text with a tired yawn, then going straight to Naoya’s contact and blocking it immediately,

You then get back up from the floor to head to the bathroom to take a long deserved shower then head to your bed.

Taglist - @alebrasil0101 , @dantesredcoat , @reinaink,