Rambles, Drabbles, And Brambles

Queerplatonic relationships are special and cool and don’t actually require any more communication or anything than romantic relationships. Partnership is partnership, labels are just for clarity on the particulars.

Not every relationship requires sex, either! And if you still want/enjoy sex you can communicate that attraction isn’t a thing for you but you still have fun. Or you can say you don’t want sex entirely. Either way it’ll be a deal breaker for some people and totally fine or even ideal for others. Such is dating and partnership.

Good luck.

So, con drop was coined to explain the drop of energy that comes a few hours or maybe a few days after attending or participating in a convention.

After spending several days on an endorphin and dopamine high, you go home and crash. Life seems dull. You feel the emptiness. You need to sign up for another convention. You're chasing the next high.

This is the same kind of feeling the BDSM community have called dom-drop or sub-drop.

The feeling can come with mood-swings, moodiness, fatigue, depression, etc.

I was aware of both, but at some point I realized it also happens to other kind of events that bring a high of dopamine. Like a party, an evening with your friends, anything where you have a lot of intense positive emotions.

Sometimes I come back from a party with my friends. And in the bus, I immediately crash and start doubting myself. And if my friends are judging me. And wondering what I said or did wrong, overanalizing every micro expression to see if they secretly hate me. (they don't).

I used to feel guilty about this. I'm supposed to have a good time and here I was, immediately crashing the moment I left.

(of course I have adhd and a weird relationship with dopamine.)

The moment I connected it with con-drop, it made sense.

So here I am after the high of the book fair, forcing myself to take it slow and not immediately start working on a new project to chase the high.

The literal cofounder of queer theory as an academic field says that abandoning trans people is fascist logic.

The voices in our community trying to exclude us may be loud, but they are not right, and they do not speak for the community as a whole or our history or anything at all.

Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who was murdered on the first day of Pride month as well as Indigenous History Month. He died protecting his trans husband. Homophobia and racism aren’t marks of the past, and this is a heart breaking reminder of that.