ASOIAF fandom defending only targaryen women so much that they basically created this whole white feminism:
“Valyrian/dragon-blood feminism”
People reduce feminism to only supporting one very specific kind of female character the “badass” white silver hair woman and the woman with the dragon.
Dragonriding is probably the most “badass” and fantastical element in ASOIAF. Dragons are basically walking apocalypse machines and in a lot of Western European mythology they represent almost the “evil” power.
Of course people instantly associates dragonriding with strength and superiority.
But that’s also why the Valyrian/Targaryen stuff gets complicated. Because GRRM ties this near-divine power to a very specific blood and physical appearance (pale skin, silver hair, purple eyes, “pure blood,” selective breeding, keeping bloodlines “clean,” etc.) The ability to control dragons is written as something inherited through Valyrian blood and the Valyrian body itself becomes the site of this mythical power. In fact people have criticized that for years because it creates uncomfortable implications around race and blood purity esp since the Targaryens themselves are obsessed with keeping their bloodline said “pure” and see themselves as fundamentally above other people.
Now, I don’t think GRRM is straightforwardly endorsing that ideology. If anything, ASOIAF repeatedly shows how destructive blood supremacy thinking is. The Targaryens destroy themselves through incest, conquest, prophecy obsession, and violence. But the critique can still get muddy because the story also undeniably makes Valyrian features and dragon-blood feel magical and exceptional.
And people sometimes makes it even worse by treating dragonriding as proof that certain people are inherently more “worthy” or “important” than others instead of seeing how dangerous that ideology actually is inside the story.
Which is why you can end up seeing non-dragonrider women constantly hated or treated as less important by a huge parts of the fandom because once dragonriding becomes the ultimate symbol of “value,” women connected to softer or non-militarized forms of power start getting treated as “irrelevant” or “anti-feminist.”
People don’t really compare Catelyn and Alysanne to understand them. They use Alysanne as the “feminist queen template” and then turn Catelyn into the contrast character who automatically looks worse more emotional, more limited & more “wrong.” Alysanne is tied to dragon power and royal authority. Even when she’s being diplomatic or kind, there’s still this huge force behind her position. People listen to her differently because of what she represents. Catelyn doesn’t have that. No dragons no “or else I burn your Lannister army” backup plan. She’s stuck working through negotiations and constant political pressure during an active war.
Visenya gets the of the “badass queen” archetype, while Alicent gets reduced into the “tadwife / political nag” Visenya’s power wasn’t actually that different from many other noble women in Westeros in terms of limits. Yes, she had more freedom than most because she was a dragonrider, but she was still living inside a deeply patriarchal system. She was part of an arranged political marriage, tied to her brother-husband, and had to function within Aegon’s authority as king of the conquested realm. Even when she held court or acted independently in certain moments, ultimate sovereignty still rested with Aegon, and major decisions about the realm and their family still went through him. We also see that tension in how inheritance and succession expectations weren’t something she fundamentally overturns or redefines. Male primogeniture remains the norm, and it isn’t really challenged by her presence. Even in terms of motherhood Visenya doesn’t have full control over outcomes like how Aenys is favored over Maegor. The limits of her influence become visible there she can build her own influence (like Dragonstone), but she doesn’t fully change the system she exists in. Ironically, I would argue that Alicent had more practical day-to-day political power than Visenya. It’s also when it comes to Alicent vs Rhaenyra too where Rhaenyra gets treated like the “feminist queen” and Alicent gets shoved into the “tradwife conservative” box. There’s a huge mismatch here because people are projecting modern American politics onto a quasi-medieval world that just doesn’t work on those terms. Everything becomes “conservative vs progressive,” “tradwife vs girlboss,” “feminist icon vs oppressor,” etc. Alicent isn’t a “tradwife archetype,” she’s just a noblewoman doing what noblewomen have to do in her world securing her kids & and working inside patriarchy because there is no outside option for her. And Rhaenyra isn’t different she isn’t a modern feminist disruptor either. She’s also fully inside the same system. She’s tied to aristocratic inheritance, and ruling through birthright. That’s not rebellion against the system that is the system. Once you drop the modern projection it stops being “tradwife vs feminist” and starts being “two women trying to survive and secure power for themselves & their children”
Same with Sansa vs Daenerys really just boils down to people forcing women into a “tradwife vs girlboss” and it misses the whole point of their characters badly. Daenerys gets read as the ultimate badass because she has the most visible form of power in the story (dragons, armies, conquest, prophecy, fire imagery, etc.) Her power is loud. Sansa’s story is basically the opposite. She’s surviving inside hostile courts with almost no physical protection, no army, no dragon, no magical blood power she can use. Her tools are observation, courtesy, reading people, and learning how power works from the inside. But people tends to value masculine-coded power way more than feminine-coded power. Daenerys becomes the “liberated powerful woman” while Sansa gets reduced to “boring,” “trad,” or whatever projection people want to throw onto her. And honestly it gets misogynistic fast because femininity itself starts being treated like a character flaw. Like sorry Sansa cannot burn down her problems with a dragon. She is a political hostage for most of the story obviously she’s going to move differently than the girl with three magical nukes and an army. The amount of power a character has shapes how they survive. The books show this over and over again. And I say this as someone who genuinely love & defend Daenerys. This is not me hating her or pretending she isn’t an incredibly important and compelling character.
And honestly, it’s not just about the dragons themselves. It’s also tied to blood purity the silver hair & pale skin. Which is also why characters like Nettles is hated despite having a dragon. Because if a girl who is poor common-born, visibly outside the idealized Valyrian image, and Black-coded can bond with a dragon through patience and bravery instead of “pure blood” then the entire mythology of dragonlord exclusivity starts falling apart. And I genuinely think that is part of why so much of the fandom treats Nettles horribly or tries to explain her away with “she secretly has Valyrian blood” theories. A lot of people are more comfortable preserving the fantasy of biologically special dragon blood than accepting the possibility that the Targaryens were never as uniquely entitled to dragons as they believed.
Which is exactly why the reactions to Nettles inside the story are so important too the panic around her is not political but ideological she threatens blood purity mythology itself.
Alicent, Catelyn, Sansa, and Cersei don’t have that kind of power. They can’t force anyone to listen by fear of fire and destruction. They have to work with what they do have.
Not every woman has to be pale, silver-haired, riding dragons, or burning people down to be worthy of attention or respect in a story. Some women adapt to survive it. Some try to protect their children within it.
And honestly, people’s obsession with the “girlboss” version of feminism just loops back into valuing women only when they perform power in masculine-coded ways. A woman doesn’t have to be a Targaryen and threaten everyone around her to be an interesting exploration of gender and power.
