If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.

Lmfao

“You put so much ginger in this it’s a Weasley” 💀

Yall

Like Gordon is savage yall. Comes straight for the jugular. Roasts people as well as he roasts chicken. 

The olive oil one took me all the way out. Like… 😂😂😂😂😂

Can anyone explain how you burn ice cream? I have so many questions

If I ever don’t reblog this, it’s because I’m dead.

game devs take note

What a weird impulse. Why would you need it to look feminine? Or masculine? It’s armor to protect your body from death. Not dying should be gender neutral.

Not dying should be gender neutral

Reblog if you're bisexual, or if you support bisexuals, or if you want Queen Elizabeth II to outlive Donald Trump

But what if they just happened to cast Andrew Garfield as the boyfriend in Deadpool 2, and someone in the movie is like, “hey, you look just like Peter Par-” but Deadpool tackles them before they can finish and then just looks directly at the camera and is like, “this is my boyfriend, Pete Parkley, and he is definitely not Spiderman because that would be a serious breach of licensing rights.” and then he just grabs Pete and tows him away by the suspicious red spandex collar poking out over the top of his T-shirt

Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL

OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY

Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.

OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE

I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”

I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now

I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’

After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch

I have to try this.

Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.

you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them

Reblog this and put what your phone background in the tags

SOMETHING is doing this, but fuck if we know what the fuck it is. GodDAMN

Google has had some stunning logos over the years, but this one is a showstopper.

I really really love this.

anybody else think of avatar?

And Bing couldn’t search for shit. Everyone died.

• Normalize going to Burger King at 3 am • Normalize falling asleep inside the Burger King • NORMALIZE filling up your empty milk jugs with drinks from the sofa fountain • NORMALIZE JACKING IT IN THE BK BATHROOM • NORMALIZE FIGHTING THE MANAGER

•NORMALIZE •FINDING •AND KILLING •THE BURGER KING

Bad day?

GREAT DAY

wildcats are red corbins are bleu this could be the start of something new

this is beautiful