I love the river of life! It ebbs and flows!

Last night, she walked back into my ER and asked for me by name. I came outside and she gave me the biggest hug and we talked for a while.

But let me tell you something: the first time i hugged her she smelled like blood and charcoal and puke. And the last time i hugged her, she smelled like flowery perfume and chlorine and chocolate ice cream. And it’s the most wonderful change i have ever experienced.

Don’t ever think that you don’t mean enough. Don’t ever think you aren’t worth it.

Brain Circuit That Drives Sleep Wake State and Sleep Preparation Behavior Identified

Stanford University School of Medicine scientists have identified a brain circuit that’s indispensable to the sleep-wake cycle. This same circuit is also a key component of the reward system, an archipelago of interconnected brain clusters crucial to promoting behavior necessary for animals, including humans, to survive and reproduce.

Brain Implant Gives Paralyzed Man Functional Control of Arm

Device allows paralyzed man to swipe credit card and perform other movements.

Pinpointing the Neural Center of Resilience

Why some people handle stress better than others is a question that has fascinated scientists for decades. Now a Yale-led team reports that flexible brain activity in a particular area of the brain may predict resilience. Conversely, its absence can help pinpoint those most at risk for binge drinking, emotional eating, and angry outbursts.

I am with you my friend. Work has been rough lately, right? Leaving it at the hospital isn’t always possible. It stays with you, keeps you up at night, as you replay “what ifs” and “I should haves.”

You’re dreading the next time you have to walk into that hospital. You’re tired of getting the sickest patients, or the ones with the angriest families. Because you’re great at your job and you’re nice, you get the difficult assignments. Part of you wishes you could quit caring and then maybe you’d have the easy patients for a change, then you could sit there on your phone, laughing with the rest of the group. But, you won’t do that, because you’d have to live knowing you didn’t do your best and that would feel worse than this.

You’re a good coworker. You are the one that helps everybody, the one other nurses get excited to see as a neighbor. Even when it’s 6 hours into your shift, you haven’t sat down, and you have hours of charting to do, when that coworker asks something of you, you say “Yes,” without hesitation.  Do not change that either. It’s worth it to be the one the baby nurse goes to, just to give her a bit of confidence. It’s worth it to help that mama nurse and hear some of her wisdom.

Maybe this job has broken your heart lately, like it has mine. Today was the first time I set foot into bed eight since she died in there one week week ago.  I entered the room and the flashback of her husband crying at the bedside, her laying there unresponsive, knocked the breath from my lungs. I paused, coming back to reality, before I could address the new patient in front of me. Caring hurts sometimes, but don’t give up you sense of empathy and compassion.

It’s hard to find people at home to listen, to explain the horrors you went through. Even when you don’t want to talk about it, what you saw at work is still playing in your mind. Your family doesn’t really understand, or they don’t want to hear gory details of someone else’s tragedy. They do not understand that it’s your tragedy too.

I hope you have some good days at work, sweet nurse. I hope you take care of yourself at home. I hope you’re reminded in little ways why you do this job.