Word crimes I have personally witnessed
Since my early days on the internet, I have kept a file where where I record phrases that people have said on the internet that have really razed my hackles.
âThanks for your inciteful commentsâ
Are you thanking me for starting a flame war?
This is what you have when youâre a pedestrian in a crosswalk.
Sometimes the monarch offers you a 100% discount.
Theyâre very dainty hands.
Some people might be turned incorporeal in situations like this, but not me.
Theyâre beautiful sources. Gaze upon them and appreciate their splendor.
âThis peaked my interestâ
Now that my interest is at the summit, it can only go down.
The horse is in charge now.
âFor all intensive purposesâ
These purposes are quite vigorous
Iâm sowing six feet deep.
Iâm very well-hydrated before dinner.
Iâm going to articulate this entirely using gestures.
âIâm honing in on your locationâ
You probably went through a lot of whetstones on the way here.
The opposite of bad breath: itâs such a pleasant odor that few can resist its allure.
Young Frankensteinâs assistant should have been willing to pay for this instead of stealing a brain from the university laboratory.
Sometimes those summits can really catch you off guard.
I assume this is what tugboat operators do.
Sometimes a stench is terrible enough to cause chaos.
You owe me performance royalties for using that phrase. I charge $50 per say.
This happens earlier in the winter, especially after Daylight Saving Time ends in November.
Not to be confused with a fowl swoop, this one is probably up to no good.
You should keep your shredded cabbage in the fridge after adding the mayo.
Iâm paying close attention to the location of the applause.
Where we keep our OSHA-compliant gear.
âI donât want to take this for granite.â
Of course not, itâs clearly bismuth.
âTenants of the faithâ
Iâm pretty sure itâs a violation of city code for a non-residential church building to charge rent.
âComing down the pipeâ
You donât want to know whatâs in the plumbing.
The forklift operator is expected to use this to keep things sanitary.
Iâm going to attack my nemesis using this syringe.
âStatue of limitationsâ
Carved marble can last a very long time before expiring.
Iâll case the joint, then gesture with my finger to draw your attention to anything suspicious.
Rock climbers carry bags that are like this.
âIâm going to pour over the dataâ
Please donât spill your coffee on spreadsheets.
âThatâs just an old wise taleâ
You shouldnât be so dismissive of elderly wisdom!
Old Jeremiah is always up to funny business.
âDon't give me short shiftâ
If you're getting paid by the hour, you don't want your employer to send you home early.
âThis peeked my interestsâ
That sounds like an invasion of privacy.
prguitarman
origamiaround
vaporwave
blakekathryn
2087
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
dededos
areudirty
