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by Denny Bitte

by Denny Bitte

Alex Strangler

i mean at least i tried right

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

current aesthetic: cute english teacher who’s high key banging the history professor

current aesthetic: the history professor

current aesthetic: the history professor’s substitute who joins in on the action.

current aesthetic: the principal who really wants to get in on this sexyfest, but also doesn’t want this whole thing to blow up in his face.

aesthetic: the librarian who nearly exposes the whole affair before joining in.

aesthetic: The bookish guidance counselor who thinks you all need Jesus. 

Aesthetic: the law student in his dorm across campus who can hear everything.

The pepper gives it a kick!